Tag Archives: questions

How Many Questions Do You Get Asked Every Day?

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Ryan recently asked if I am afraid of spiders. Indeed I am. This gives me reason to bring up that we now have more than 50,000 questions answered on the Lockergnome Questions and Answers site – including “What kind of spider is this?”

I’m a massive arachnophobe… you have NO idea. Thankfully, I was able to click away from that horrible picture without having to really look at it. I simply wanted to show that we don’t only help each other out with technology-related questions here. The Lockergnome site is a place to ask questions about anything your mind can think up. You can also answer any and all questions you come across.

Don’t forget that the first person to hit 100,000 karma points will win the Optimus Maximus keyboard! Get on there, and get to asking – or answering – questions.

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Win an Optimus Maximus Keyboard by Asking and Answering Questions

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What questions could you ask? Which questions will you answer? The sky is the limit for all of those who participate. The first one to attain 100,000 karma points (legitimately – cheaters are disqualified) will get this Optimus Maximus keyboard.

In order to give our new Lockergnome.net site a proper launch, we’ve decided to do a giveaway. The site is now a question and answer site where you will earn karma points simply by asking questions, voting on the questions others have answered and answering questions you find interesting. If you flag questions with a thumbs up or thumbs down, you’ll also gain more karma.

The more karma you gain, the more you can do on the site. Once you reach a certain level, you’ll be able to delete trash answers and even edit questions when someone forgets their PUGS. You’ll need to be careful when doing those things, though. You don’t want to get too big for your britches and earn a bad rep in the community. Doing so will get you kicked out faster than you can try to spell Optimus Maximus.

As of the writing of this post, there are now over 4000 questions and more than 20,000 answers! That is a lot of participation going on. Don’t miss out on all of the fun. Please remember to ask your questions as specifically as you can. Also, always give the most specific answers possible.

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The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything

There are times when you need to ask someone a question:

  1. When the question is personal in nature.
  2. When only one person knows the answer.
  3. When the answer is trivial.
  4. When the answer is temporal.
  5. When nobody else would understand the question.
  6. When crowdsourcing would work most effectively.

Then, there are questions that have readily-available answers. For those, it’s best to:

  1. Open up your “Web browser” and go to Google.com.
  2. Try a few keyword searches on a “Web site” called Google.com.
  3. Use something called a “search engine” at Google.com.
  4. Flip open your Internet-enabled phone and visit Google.com.
  5. Rely on your own research skills to navigate results on Google.com
  6. Think about trying Google.com.

Watch this video for a quick tutorial:

I’ve Been Accused of Dodging Questions and Answers, So…

From this FriendFeed thread I started a few minutes ago, Mona asked: “How many cups of coffee do you drink?”

I’m down to a quad espresso – Starbucks, because Peet’s is too far and good espresso machines are too freakin’ expensive and take too much to maintain.

Tad asked: “Is God so powerful that he can create a rock that he can’t lift?”

Yes. I usually don’t answer questions if I don’t know the answer to the question, but… some people apparently want some kind of answer, no matter the question.

Mona asked a second question: “Why is the sky blue?”

According to NASA, “As the sunlight has passed through all this air, the air molecules have scattered and rescattered the blue light many times in many directions. Also, the surface of Earth has reflected and scattered the light. All this scattering mixes the colors together again so we see more white and less blue.”

Mona asked a third question: “How many boogers does a person have?”

On average? Five. That’s a total guess.

Mona asked a fourth question: “Why does a Macbook only have two USB plugs?”

I believe you mean “USB ports,” but the answer to your question likely lies in correlation between the production process and the product’s ultimate price. Simply put, they could accommodate two ports – because three wouldn’t fit, and one is the loneliest number.

Rah asked the question: “Where do babies come from?”

Sperm + Egg = Eventual Baby

MiniMage LightBlueRanger asked: “Why are we here?”

To make plastic, according to George Carlin.

Mona asked a fifth question: “How did Luke construct his lightsaber?”

Out of lips and assholes.

Justin Korn asked: “Are you going to answer these questions?”

Was that a trick question, or were you not expecting a socratic response?

Pete Delucchi asked: “Hello… tap, tap, tap, is this thing on?”

Yes, it is on – and stop tapping on my thing.

Matt Musgrave asked a series of questions: “You want a question that goes with the answer for 42? Well, how about what’s six times seven? Or how many Vogons does it take to change a lightbulb? Here’s one! How many roads must a man walk down?”

Sure. 42. 42. 42.

Joe Pierce asked: “What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

African or European?

Rah asked a second question: “Why do you look almost exactly like my youngest uncle?”

Pure coincidence, I assure you.

Outsanity asked: “Why do old people like CBS?”

Probably because it’s been around as long as they have?

Joe Pierce asks a second question: “If a unicorn farts in the middle of a magical cotton candy forest, and nobody is around to hear it, does it exist?”

If a blogger blogs a blog post, and nobody reads it, did it really get written? Oh, I’m sorry – I’m not answering the question again. I believe that it would (indeed) exist, if only in thought.

Yuvi asked: “Why is your name spelt like it was spelt by a script kiddie?”

I was tired of people guessing it outright a few years ago and decided to throw zeros in there. Really, for no other reason. Of course, I post it everywhere now, so… bleah. I guess it turned out better for SEO?

Tad asked a second question: “You don’t really answer rhetorical questions, do you?”

Yes. I mean, no.

Rah asked a third question: “WTF is a ‘l0ckergn0me?’ Is it related to the angry monkey in my closet?”

It’s a harmless little whatever.

Faboo Mama asked: “How many times a day does Ponzi call you a dork*? *dweeb, goober, geek, etc are also acceptable.”

On average, one time a day.

Morton Fox asked: “What would have happened in The Matrix if Neo took the blue pill and that turned out to be Viagra?”

Matrix II & III would have been much better.

Rodfather asked: “Do your farts really smell like a fresh pack of 3.5″ floppy disk labels?”

According to Ponzi, I’m not allowed to fart anymore… it’s been so long since I’ve done it. I can hardly remember what scent was attached to them.

Joe Pierce asked another question: “If a man got pregnant where would the baby come out?”

Likely out of his gut via some kind of Caesarean operation.

Carlos Granier-Phelps asked: “Is the answer really blowing in the wind? Why?”

Often you’ll find life’s answers drifting past you, if you’re not looking for them. When you’re looking for answers, be sure you’re asking the right question – or any question the ‘right’ way. Otherwise, the response may not be to your liking – or you’ll find it lacking in directness. Either way, it’s not the fault of the answer nor the answerer, but the asker for not being specific in their knowledge fishing. Why is contingent on weight ratios.

Chet asked: “Why DID the chicken cross the road?”

To get to the other side. It’s as simple as that. Srsly.

How Do You Get Your Questions Answered?

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When I have a question that I need an answer for that cannot be attained by Googling… I tend to throw the question out to my network of friends. Some of you may use answering services, such as Yahoo Answers. Thanks to ScottyG for sending in this top ten list on ways to get good answers from Yahoo.

  • It may sound strange, but do not make the title too descriptive. If the title is too descriptive, many people will not even open the question to take a look at it. Almost all of my most answered questions have titles which are not overly descriptive.
  • Spelling goes a long way. It is much easier to read a correctly spelled question than one with spelling and grammatical errors.
  • Do not include huge chunks of conversation in your question. Keep it informative but informal.
  • I recommend using bullet points and a summary of the question. This is an easy-to-read format.
  • Look for answers with good ‘sources’. Remember, Wikipedia can be edited by anyone so it is not always true.
  • Do not use the ‘add details’ option to have a chat with answerers. Many questions end up with a flood of added details.
  • Don’t put ‘a quick 10 points’ in the question or title. If you do this, you will get a lot of short, rushed comments rather than longer, detailed answers.
  • Do not post the same post many times in a short period of time. The Yahoo community WILL ignore your question if you do this!
  • Do not put ‘title says it all’ in the question. Questions can seem quite ambiguous on the Internet, so further details will be needed.
  • As soon as you have the answer, pick the best answer straight away. If you are a courteous user, your questions will be answered much faster.

What other answering services do you use? Let us know your favorite ones, and why they’re the best.


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Help! (the Yellow Tint Video)

Oh man, the video quality totally sucks – but at least I did it. Since I’m a YouTube Director, I can upload more than ten minutes worth of video at a time. “It” doesn’t really have a name yet, “it” was recorded this morning at 3:30am live-to-tape, and “it” is just the beginning (as I hope to record in higher definition with better screen switching soon). For now, this certainly works. Three things to note: (1) Cat Schwartz should be joining me soon, virtually; (2) Darth Vader’s floating head will be a regular feature; and (3) While the workflow isn’t perfect yet, my EyeJot widget is the best way for you submit video.