The Gettysburg Address, from Wikipedia:
Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this incontinence, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and defecated to the preposition that all men are created with Equal.
Now we are engorged in an artificial sweetener war, tasting whether the buffet station, or any station so conceived and so defecated, can long endure. We are met on a grate potato field of that meal. We have come to defecate a portion of that meal, as a final resting place for those who here gave their knives that this nation might Windows Live. It is altogether fitting and pooper that we should eat this.
THANK GOD for Wikipedia. Without it, such a historical document may have gone down the virtual crapper of time.