Category Archives: Comic

BitTorrent Tips and Tricks


It’s real easy to get started with BitchTorrent for your distribution needs. To begin, all you need is a feeder. The feeder takes and seeds files called bleeders. With the feeders soon seeding bleeders, you’ll find yourself flooded with needers needing bleeders finding feeders in the seed.

When your feeder seeds the seed, you need the needer needing needs on the feeds you can bleed while bleeding feeders what they call stackers. Now, stackers sit and sack the seed while bleeders knead the needers and the hackers pack the stackers in the needy feeder feeds. Slackers take the sacking stackers in the feeder bleeding seeds.

Then the tracker stacks the hacker needing feeder feeding feeds, while the bleeder seeds the seeds and the stacker tricks the tracker into bleeding needlessly. While the tracker stacks the stacker in the feeding bleeder deed, you can sick the needy knocker in the bleeder seeding feed.

It’s just that simple, folks.

The President is Blogging!

If Lincoln Blogged

The Gettysburg Address, from Wikipedia:

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this incontinence, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and defecated to the preposition that all men are created with Equal.

Now we are engorged in an artificial sweetener war, tasting whether the buffet station, or any station so conceived and so defecated, can long endure. We are met on a grate potato field of that meal. We have come to defecate a portion of that meal, as a final resting place for those who here gave their knives that this nation might Windows Live. It is altogether fitting and pooper that we should eat this.

THANK GOD for Wikipedia. Without it, such a historical document may have gone down the virtual crapper of time.


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The Most Awesome Social Network Ever

I Hate Social Networks

Tired of getting friend requests from MySpace, TagWorld, Friendster, TypePad, Skype, AIM, Yahoo!, Chia Friend, LinkedIn, MSN, TextAmerica, Upcoming, Digg, Google, 30 Boxes, Second Life, Plaxo, Zooomr, ICQ, Flickr, LiveJournal, Dogster, dodgeball, Backwash, BuddyBridge, FriendFan, Classmates, Buzznet, ReferNet… not to mention Friend Surfer, friendsand, Friends of Friends,, Friends of Friends, Friends Reunited, Friendoo, Friendset, Friendsync, Friendity, Friendzy… and a million others… Tyrone J. Walrustitty put the following text on his Geocities homepage:

Dear “Friend,” I don’t want to join [insert Web site name here]. I hate social networks. Hate ’em! I’m tired of you sending these damn invitations to me. If you do it again, I’m going to stop being your friend – because inviting me to yet another social network that doesn’t interest me simply isn’t a very friendly thing to do. If I’m already on the social networks that you’re already on, I have no problem in connecting with you there. As it stands, however, my tolerance for social networks is turning me anti-social. If I add one more social network to my social network network, I’m truly going to go social on yo’ ass.

Based on this simple idea, Tyrone launched Hermitster, raised $8.2 billion in funding, and sold the property to Rupert Murderock for well over a trillion dollars.

Source: Flickr
Domain: MySpaceEraser

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What Will Dave Winer Do?

Dave Winer Reduction

Conspiracy theorists are atwitter with the news that Dave Winer will be stepping away from the blogosphere in a mere matter of months. Some groups claim that Dave wants to live out the REST of his days making SOAP in Montana, while others feel that Dave (himself) is an alien and will soon be flying back to his home planet, Skroob.

Thousands of online hate groups have issued letters of resignation, finding their purpose to exist “completely nullified” by Dave’s decision. And what will happen with It will become a live outline of Winer’s impending screenplay, some say. Close friends organized an intervention, but none of them could tear themselves away from their respective news aggregators in time to actually confront Dave.

Other Winer conspiracies include (but are not necessarily limited to) Dave: being pregnant and full-term not long after his retirement begins; wanting to shave his beard without causing other bloggers to grow theirs out of spite; hoping to become the world’s first software developer to enter [and win] the Iditarod.

Source: Scripting News

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WTF is The Long Tail?

Long Tail Tall Tale

Long Tail important thing. Thag must grok idea to make idea work. It say that markets conversations. Wait, no – that cluetrain. Long Tail claim there new marketplace at end of rainbow. Blog believe rainbow exist, but nobody else care.

Long ago, before Internet, Anderson man had long tail on body. Got tired of lug tail everywhere, so put online for auction. Caveman in Iowa bought cheap. Gomesaur came, want Anderson tail – but Anderson no have. Gomesaur attack Anderson, say Long Tail no exist.

Anderson kill Gomesaur with it own long tail. Gomesaur go extinct. Indiana Jones dig up long tail bone in next sequel. It make good movie.

Source: The Long Tail

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Tagging Technorati

Technorati Tag Overload

In his latest “State of the Blogosphere” report, Technorati founder Dave Sifry finally conceded defeat to spam from BlogSpot and .info domains. His team of developers will be issuing Technorati 3.0 SP1 within a few weeks to address this climate shift.

The impending update will transmogrify from a hub of live Web content into a portal where only the latest spam posts and splogs are indexed and displayed. All junk entries, all the time! It’s a market that’s gone largely underserved until now.

A-List mortgage and erectile dysfunction bloggers were not available for comment.


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Boob Suits on YouTube

YouTube Sues Boobs

Well over a dozen people tuned into NBC’s Sunday night prime time lineup, shattering the network’s previous record of 10. Since the advent of the Internets, fewer intelligent beings have found themselves interested in what Hollywood has to offer.

Yesterday evening, one billion users logged into to upload videos of themselves doing stupid things. This morning, the networks responded in kind – issuing lawsuits against YouTube and every one of its users, claiming they (the television networks) “own the rights to insipid entertainment.” YouTube was again forced to update its Terms & Conditions to the following:

“…by submitting the User Submissions to YouTube, you hereby grant YouTube a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, uninspired, completely boring, waste of time, I want my five minutes back, who is this dipshit and why do I care, another pointless singalong, a trailer I already saw elsewhere, lame-ass halfwits who just purchased a Webcam, can I punch the ninja yet… oops, where were we? Oh yes: to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform the User Submissions in connection with the YouTube Website and YouTube’s (and its successor’s) business… in any media formats and through any media channels.”

Next week, YouTube is switching to the “I’m not dead yet” RealVideo format to settle the score with another copyright lawsuit holder, Robert Turd – since beating him senseless was out of the question.

Source: YouTube
Bonus: Comic Outtakes

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Skype is the Anti-Christ

Skype vs. Gizmo vs. Vonage

I think Skype is an amazing product. I’m recommending that all my friends and family members start using *pwing* kskll f kaslkk fllaklk. LFilial liflk kdlalk lal lfllfal alla lallkl lala aaa kdllak slkal alkalk a lka kal lakklkla lkalkll allall kkllal llalkkal alkala lla al alallakal akkalks alls alks alkk s skkslla ssslka lksa lk lksalklka slkaskkslak klsalklk klakslksa.

Hello? Did you see me okay? Can you read this? I’m trying to use Project Gizmo to *pwing* gwbw w gb wgbbwg wbg wbg bwgbb wbgbwbgw bw g bwgwbbgwbgw wg bwgbwg w b gw bgw bwgwgw bgw bgw bwg bwgbwgwgwb bgwgwwg bwg bgw bgw bgw bgw bwgwbgbwb gw bwg bwgwg bwg bwg bg bwg.

VoIP is revolutionary. It’s changed the way I communicate with everybody. Vonage is just *pwing* hufd uhdfhudfhudh uh uhdufhuh ufdhudhfuh uhfduhdfu h huhdfhuuh f dhufhudhf uduhdfu hudhf hudfhud hfduhu fhdhuhf uhfduhuhfu udhfuhdf huduhf.


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Apple iDontcare

From Thank Sucrets, a Steve Jobs fan site, comes news of a revolutionary service: Apple iDontcare. With this offering, users will finally be able to rent commercials through the iTunes Music store.

Instead of being forced to skip free commercials at home with a confusing remote control, iPod owners can now pay to borrow commercials and skip them with their friendly click wheel instead. This action has been heralded by experts as “a paradigm shiftâ€Â? in the way people are able to waste their money.

Apple has already filed a lawsuit against Thank Sucrets, claiming that Steve Jobs was deprived of the wind for his $90m yacht (due to the leak). iDontcare will continue to roll out at Apple’s WWDC, otherwise known as the “What Will Developers Chew?â€Â? conference.

Source: Apple

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