Giving Relationship Advice

I’m not a doctor, and I’m certainly no relationship counselor, but that didn’t stop “Freedman” for reaching out for a bit of help:

I’ve been watching your videos for about two months now. You go into all sorts of topics, not just technology. I love your videos and enjoy watching them. Your videos never have a bias opinion and always give me a welcomed feeling.

I’m writing to you at this hour because my girlfriend pulled a fast one on me. After three years of on and off dating, she tells me she doesn’t love me anymore. She has done this many times in the past, and we’ve gotten back together four times since 2004. She says that she can’t live life with out me in it. But then when we start dating time after time, she wants out of the relationship.

I’m fed up with the emotional roller coaster that I’ve been on. We came to two choices. Either stay in the relationship with the absence of her love. Or break up and sever all contact with each other.

Should I just leave it all behind and start over? Or should I keep trying? Deep down inside, I feel as if I keep trying, there will be a reward at the end; the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just so overwhelmed with frustration.

Well, Freedman… no matter her age, it sounds as though she’s not mature enough to handle a relationship. She doesn’t know what she wants! “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

You’re a fool for sticking with her, or thinking that time (magically) will make it all better. There are plenty of fish in the sea, dude – and it doesn’t matter what kind of guy you are. You’re better off spending your time and energy on someone else, or at least searching for someone else. I don’t care what kind of history you have with Little Miss Wishy-washy… make a clean break from her.

She doesn’t know if she loves you or not? That’s her problem, not yours. The bigger issue is that you’ve forgiven her countless times, and she’ll continue to abuse that privilege. Be careful with future girlfriends, too – because you’re likely to fall for the same kind of woman, and those relationships could turn out to be equally as abusive.

For whatever it’s worth, I’d say the same thing about this situation if the gender roles were reversed – because the shoe, quite often, is on the other foot.