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You Drink Too Much Coffee When

  1. Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.
  2. You get a speeding ticket… even when you're parked.
  3. You answer the door before people knock.
  4. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
  5. You have to watch videos in fast-forward mode.
  6. You lick your coffeepot clean.
  7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
  8. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  9. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
  10. You can type 60 words per minute… with your feet.
  11. Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
  12. You walk 20 miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
  13. When you find a penny, you say, “Find a penny, pick it up… 63 more, I'll have a cup!”
  14. When someone says “How are you?” you say “Good to the last drop.”
  15. You're offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.
  16. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
  17. You don't tan, you roast.
  18. You introduce your spouse as your “coffee mate.”
  19. You talk so fast your tongue has windburn.
  20. You stand in front of the microwave oven screaming, “Hurry UP!!!”

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11 Comments

Are you sure the donkey was named after you and not the other way around?
Sorry you left it open I just had to take it. Sad fact is I do stand in front of the microwave yelling that it's to slow;)

21. You make your wife highlight all Peets locations on her map AND THEN refuse to go anywhere that doesn't have one within walking distance of your destination.

Just don't ask me how many times I've had this (or variants of this) emailed to me. :(

ok does eating the chocolate covered espresso beans count?

the chocolate covered espresso beans are like first aid for the coffee drinker (at least in my case). keep 'em handy just in case the brew can't be found.

“…it is in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat…”

What is this Peets I keep hearing of? I hear its good coffee, but where can i get some of that stuff?

Peets is overburnt charroast stuff that only a Chris could love

Damn, my BFG comment didn't show up because I put angled brackets around it. [bfg]

I found the website to Peets! Whooohooo!! No longer will I be a Poster Child at Starbucks!!!

issue of Popular Science magazine (trying to ignore the gross oversight that a contributor made by claiming that Yahoo Pipes was easy)… Related Content:The FCC Song!My Dad The Senator!USB Charger for AirplanesPluggd Keeps Us Plugged InWireless PowerYou Drink Too Much Coffee WhenNext To GodlinessPolitical CartoonsPedometer WalkingLetter from a Disgruntled TechTV/G4 Viewer

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