- Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.
- You get a speeding ticket… even when you're parked.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward mode.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
- You can type 60 words per minute… with your feet.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low.”
- You walk 20 miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- When you find a penny, you say, “Find a penny, pick it up… 63 more, I'll have a cup!”
- When someone says “How are you?” you say “Good to the last drop.”
- You're offended when people use the word “brew” to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You introduce your spouse as your “coffee mate.”
- You talk so fast your tongue has windburn.
- You stand in front of the microwave oven screaming, “Hurry UP!!!”
