Don’t worry, they’re not illegal or being abused; they’re for helping Diana feel better after her wisdom teeth removal last week.
But what if they made pills that could substitute for meals, as demonstrated on The Jetsons? What if they made pills that could give you sunshine on a cloudy day (or, per my preference, clouds on a sunshiny day)? What if they made pills that helped you find parking in downtown Seattle?
What if they made pills that stopped newspapers from showing up in my driveway every single danged day in spite of my fervent protest against habitual tree murder?
These would be bona fide medical miracles, by golly!