Who Knows Best? SoldierKnowsBest!

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I just found this out, but Diana is a total stalker. If she can Google you, she can find out your favorite color, your favorite band, your favorite flavor of ice cream, the kind of shoes you like, the schools you’ve attended, how much you owe the library in overdue book fees, what you had for breakfast, if you’ve ever skipped bail, how many steps you’ve taken since birth, your religious affiliation (or lack, thereof), your voting history, what you sing in the shower, your favorite television shows, if you’ve clearly never been to Singapore, what your parents would have named you if you’d been born the opposite sex, the location of those car keys you thought you lost, if you like butter, and if you have nice teeth (or not).

Among other… possibly creepier things.

I guess I should probably be a little scared, but let’s step back and take a look at this for a second. The benefits of having a living, breathing search engine as my wife far outweigh the deficits. If I happen to get lost in a storm, she’ll be able to figure out how to find me. If we ever need to find the best dinner for a reasonable price within a mile of wherever we’re standing at any given time, we shall not starve. If I ever need to interview the ambassador of Micronesia for some reason, she’ll be able to give me the skinny on the best questions to ask (and the ones to avoid). If there’s a swarm of killer bees approaching, she’ll be able to discern our best path of escape. If I ever swallow a fly, she may be able to administer medical attention so that, perhaps, I will not die. If a new Garbage Pail Kids series hit the shelves, she’ll navigate the quickest route to securing it while enduring the very shortest of lines.

Today, though, she was able to find out a bunch of stuff about a fellow known on the Internet as SoldierKnowsBest before we met up with him and invited him into our home. What did the soldier know? Watch the vlog and find out, ladies and gents!