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“Hey Daddy? I know it's only 4AM, but I think I need to do something really bad. I mean, it's good that I can do it, but it'll be bad if I have to do it inside. So, can you please wake up and take me outside? Thanks, I really appreciate it. Oh, but I'm not going to cooperate when it comes time for you to put on my leash. This doesn't mean that I love you any less, just that I would much rather do this on my own. You know what I mean? Okay, now do you mind if I find the perfect spot before I pee? That's not it. That's not it. That's not it. Oh, yeah – and I better sniff every bush between here and Peet's – which I realize isn't open this early in the morning. I don't think I'm going to empty my bladder all at once, either. And I think I need to make poopy, too. Gotta find another perfect spot, okay? Will you take me down a few more blocks? I think I'll like it over there. I know you can barely keep your eyes open, but this would really mean a lot to me. I promise this won't happen again until tomorrow at 3AM.”
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26 Comments
SocioBiblog
June 5th, 2007
at 7:04am
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Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 11:31am
Sprocket!
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 11:54am
Ahhh…the joys of the fenced yard.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 11:55am
I remember when my kids were little too.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 12:01pm
well I did promise :P
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 12:09pm
I thought Gretchen was out of town.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 12:16pm
So the dog is the Alpha dog in Chris' house? My dog knows not to interupt my slumber.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 12:30pm
heheh our Max has gotten on a schedule.. not one I prefer but I think 5:00 am is MUCH better than 3AM for sure!
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 1:21pm
hahahah. god i feel for you.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 1:51pm
This is why I have a cat and not a dog.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 2:01pm
Hey….Bring back my DOG…hahahaha :)
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 2:12pm
I can tell you a horrifying story about how our dog, who was never allowed upstairs, HAD to come upstairs to whimper at us at 3AM. I can tell you how we told him no, and he knew better than that. I can tell you how he had a really bad case of explosive um, bowels, and how lovely it was to deal with at 4AM… but I won't.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 2:53pm
*GIGGLE*
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 3:46pm
What a way to get yer “No Pants Friday” started …. i do hope yer participating today btw.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 5:59pm
Anyone wanna help start a “no pants friday” movement website?
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2003
at 10:03pm
http://www.nopantsday.com/ exists, FYI
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 12:30am
And to show his love, he gave daddy a big wet kiss, right after slurping on his nether regions. You gotta' love your kids, I mean pets. At least he didn't let you know after the fact. Good dog!
Speaking of nether regions, what a unique perspective of no pants Friday. Horrifying, but unique.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 12:57am
This blog crap shows why you lost the TV gig, “dude”. Get help Gnomer. This is embarrassing what you post… whoa!
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 3:43am
Tell me this isnt the lyrics from a song in Poodlehat.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 5:07am
Okay, after thinking it further, did Jake go on a drinking binge again? You might have to train him like you did Sprocket.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 6:49am
A good reason why cats rule.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 9:04am
Bill, you've nailed it exactly. You all don't realize how much I'm doing my Nelson Muntz laugh right now.
HA! Way to go Sprocket, honey! NOW you know what it's like, CHRIS!
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 9:32am
I'll echo Scott, this is why we have cats.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 11:15am
is this where i bust out with my violin?
Anonymous
May 24th, 2003
at 1:22pm
Well…He's your little dog…
Anonymous
May 25th, 2003
at 2:02pm
Man, it's a wonder you didn't get mugged, out there at 4am.
Maybe somebody from the Chinese resturant could have clubbed you 'round the head, then stolen your poor poopy puppy!
Then you could find that your puppy ended up in peoples poopy – people that ate him in a Chinese meal, assuming that he was chicken.
Maybe you should tell him that, then maybe he won't be so happy about evacuating bladder and bowel at such an unearthly hour.