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Which Limerick Will Win the HP TouchSmart PC?


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HP was one of our sponsors for the Gnomedex conference this year. Ann Finney and her team did an amazing job of being there, integrating with everyone, and even giving things away! This last giveaway of theirs is a doozie… and you guys will be deciding the winner!

Anyone at the conference who wished to enter to win this contest had to write a Limerick of their own, that focused somehow on the Gnomedex conference. Their Limerick had to be recorded into a short video on the TouchSmart, while still present at the conference. We’ve had a couple of late submissions which I will include at the end of this post. They are not, however, eligible to win. Ann has stated that the rules were very clear. It had to be a Limerick… and it had to be recorded at the conferece. Also, duplicate entries are not allowed, as well as anything that didn’t follow the AABBA pattern of a Limerick.

All of the Limericks have been mashed together into one video, to make it easier for you to watch. Below this, you will find a list of all of the participant’s names, along with the words to their Limericks. It’s up to you to choose your favorite, and vote! The poll will stay open for one week, and the majority vote holder will win.

What do they win, you ask!? How about a brand-new, decked-out HP TouchSmart!!

The HP TouchSmart PC is the next-generation, touch-enabled PC. It combines a 22″ diagonal hi-def widescreen with a powerful energy efficient Intel Core 2 Duo processor into a single, integrated design. It includes HP TouchSmart software, a webcam, a media card reader, and premium speakers for fast, easy access to photos, videos, music and applications.

Without further ado, here are the entrants and their submissions:

  1. Beth Grigg

    We had a good topic from Lacey
    who used to wear skirts that were racy.
    She asked us if blogging
    had turned into flogging
    and drove all the Gnomedexers crazy.

  2. Jeremy Wright

    There once was some Gnome-like sex
    That Miss Lacey attempted to hex.
    She showed some leg.
    They attempted to beg.
    But she couldn’t hear through her book checks.

  3. Seth Strump

    You’ve engaged and inspired the masses.
    You’ve replaced the old chattering classes.
    Great content will flourish
    if you take care to nourish
    your instinct to keep kicking asses.

  4. Shawn Rogers

    There once was a Chris from Seattle
    who dreamed Techies would follow him like cattle.
    He created an event
    where we all could vent
    and where Winer and Calacanis could do battle.

  5. Cheryl Allen

    There once was a Geek Fest called Gnomedex
    Thrown by Pirillo, who’s matchless.
    No speakers were bland
    all the comments were grand.
    Will I be here next year? Oh hell yes.

  6. Kat Armstrong

    Speakers and Cyborgs and LOLCats… oh my!
    Bloggers and HP and Igniters I spy!
    From Andru and @spin
    I learned Tweeting can be a sin.
    Yet, I’m not quite ready to say Goodbye.

  7. Mark Carras

    There once was a Gnome from Seattle
    who gathered together Geeks from all levels.
    With too much good food and drink
    one could honestly think
    Chris Pirillo is really the devil.

  8. J.P Taylor

    Racing down 249 in Houston
    I passed the compound of HP
    Late for my flight
    My heart stricken with fright
    I nearly shorted my Human Circuitry.

  9. Eric Lin

    There once was a wee little Gnome
    who moved to call seattle home.
    He brought Gnomedex here
    so we need not fear
    that our lattes would have velvet foam.

  10. Beth Goza

    Chris once was a locker gnome
    who made many a locker his home.
    til he got famous one day
    making “the Internet pay”
    and now has a conference of his own.

  11. Chris Brogan

    Gnomedex is better than TED
    but if I say that I might be struck dead.
    From cheeseburgers to Kanter
    and good hallway banter
    I’m tired. Now I’m going to bed.

  12. Shelly Farnham

    While my Blogosphere angst at an Apex
    I once haz a cheeseburger at Gnomedex.
    On Twitter I followed
    our host Chris Pirillowed
    and on stage Matt Harding and I flexed.

  13. Steve Fisher

    There once was a conference named gnomedex
    whose content is better than TEDs.
    I’ll be here next year
    cuz the biggest thing I fear
    is that all I hear is “did you hear what they said?”.

  14. Kathy Gill

    Here we are at Camp Gnomedex
    where the iPhone thinks we’re all about sex.
    But if you’re enraptured
    by community and captures
    Follow Pirillo! It’s not that complex.

  15. Duncan Riley

    Gnomedex is really curious.
    Sometimes it’s not even quite serious.
    Mag.no.lia tried
    it’s been quite a ride.
    I just wish I wasn’t so tired.

  16. Drew Olanoff

    There once was a conference called Gnomedex
    with a small guy at the helm who couldn’t flex.
    I came and I saw.
    I ate some cole slaw.
    Then at lunch, Sarah Lacey and I parasailed.

  17. Alex Williams

    I hope that this Limerick doesn’t get banned
    It was just a song from the band
    who came with me on the Gnomedex bus
    no, it was no fuss.
    that magic bus.

  18. Josh Quarles and Trisha Gerber

    TouchSmart is so slick that it hurts.
    It’s as sexy as a hot girl in a skirt.
    The Touch Screen though is hard to clean.
    That’s ok. HP has thought of that meem
    and given us all free shirts.

  19. Michael Turpin

    There once was a man from DesMoines
    who had more ideas than coin
    So he took his garage
    turned it into a lodge
    and asked all his Geek friends to join.

    This visionary’s real name is Chris
    And one thing I can tell you is this:
    Just Google the same
    He’s #1 for that name
    Human Circuitry’s given him bliss.

    His cartoon alter-ego is Gnome
    Who no longer calls Iowa home
    So he picked up and moved
    With wife Ponzi he grooved
    Into the land of Starbucks and Kingdome.

    Now his annual soiree’s called Gnomedex
    The author Charlene Li did text
    Late at night all alone
    With her trusty iPhone
    She mis-Twittered and called it “GnomeSex” (true story… google it!)

    The first day inspired with ways
    Nonprofits could Twitter and raise
    Money for causes
    Yet most the applauses
    Was for ICanHazCheezeburger strays.

    Some sessions they need referees
    As it’s built around the attendees
    Sarah Lacey-dot-com
    Dropped her Blogosphere bomb
    About the A-Lister’s ad-backed disease.

    Francine Hardaway and Mark Bao
    Discussed Boomers, Gen X, Y and how
    As a mere High School Soph
    The Facebook Apps he’s sold off
    Made the audience audibly “wow”.

    Now this year, there’s a sponsor HP
    With their famed birthday girl Anne Finney
    If you like my video
    Vote right now so they’ll know
    And give a cool Touch-Screen to me.

So now it’s in your hands. Which of those 18 people do you feel should win the HP TouchSmart? Who has the best Limerick? Remember… you may only vote once, so get your vote in today!

Who Should Win the HP Limerick Contest?

  • Kat Armstrong (29.0%, 157 Votes)
  • Josh Quarles and Trisha Gerber (21.0%, 111 Votes)
  • Seth Strump (11.0%, 62 Votes)
  • Beth Goza (5.0%, 29 Votes)
  • Cheryl Allen (5.0%, 29 Votes)
  • Beth Grigg (5.0%, 28 Votes)
  • Steve Fisher (5.0%, 27 Votes)
  • Shawn Rogers (4.0%, 20 Votes)
  • Eric Lin (2.0%, 12 Votes)
  • Mark Carras (2.0%, 10 Votes)
  • Chris Brogan (1.0%, 8 Votes)
  • Drew Olanoff (1.0%, 8 Votes)
  • J.P. Taylor (1.0%, 7 Votes)
  • Duncan Riley (1.0%, 7 Votes)
  • Michael Turpin (1.0%, 7 Votes)
  • Jeremy Wright (1.0%, 6 Votes)
  • Kathy Gill (1.0%, 5 Votes)
  • Alex Williams (1.0%, 5 Votes)
  • Shelly Farnham (1.0%, 4 Votes)

Total Voters: 541

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15 Comments

What a great contest! All of them were good.

Since it’s Duncan Riley’s birthday today. He get’s my vote.

Great limericks by everyone though ;)

[...] Which Limerick Will Win the HP TouchSmart PC? [...]

Duncan Riley’s fake accent is unfair! I call foul!!!

Fun stuff. (Mainly this is a post to check your link off to geeks.pirillo.com)

Chris PirilloWhich Limerick Will Win the HP TouchSmart PC?Where Do You Meet Geeks? What are Your Google Chrome Web Browser Tips and Tricks? Do You Think Google Chrome is Just Another Web Browser? Will Google Chrome Change the Web World?

Beth Goza should win for sure!

I think that 14 should win because she managed to throw the word “***” into the limerick

Seth Strump
You’ve engaged and inspired the masses.
You’ve replaced the old chattering classes.
Great content will flourish
if you take care to nourish
your instinct to keep kicking asses.

A limerick you’re asked to vote,
As they’re all trying to be especially of note,
To Chris they’re appealing,
With emotional feeling,
Because they want the computer ! :-p

None of the limericks *really* followed the rules for limericks. First, they have to be *dirty* (the closest was Seth, who talked about ‘kicking a**’–come on!). Second, while the rhyme scheme is indeed AABBA, there are also meter requirements, which very few of the limericks followed correctly. The only exceptions to the first requirement come in (a) kiddie books with limericks (or Edward Lear, who made a career in the early 20th century of bowdlerizing dirty limericks, and also butchered them by basically repeating the first line in the fifth) or (b) if they are really funny. But it’s always better to be really funny *and* dirty.
DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXAMPLE OF A DIRTY LIMERICK

The prick-naming contest of Wole
Was won by a fellow named Dole.
He said, with great bonhommie,
“I call mine metonymy,
Because it’s the part for the whole.”

And one of the *very* few decent clean limericks:

There once was a lady named Bright
Who could travel much faster than light.
She set out one day
In a relative way
And arrived the previous night.

Anyway, I voted for Trish & Al. because at least theirs was funny, although I did think about voting for Seth.

Sorry I couldn’t get to Gnomedex from Mexico, but good luck (and–please–better limericks in the future). Not having been at Gnomedex, my excuse for voting anyway is that I call myself ‘a kind of sewer of limericks’. (The late Gershon Legman, author of the 2-volume _Anatomy of the dirty joke_, also wrote –anonymously — the 2-volume treatise _The limerick_. (Many Ls there are *very* raunchy –not, by the way, a guarantee that they are funny.)

Jim

[...] It’s too bad if you weren’t with us at the conference. HP was an amazing sponsor, and provided many excellent prizes to attendees! We already gave away an HP Notebook, and an HP Mini. Right now, the voting is in place for one lucky attendee to win an HP TouchSmart. So get out there and cast your vote! [...]

This contest once seemed so much sweeter
when my name topped the vote counting meter.
But can poetry clever
survive an endeavor
designed to reward the best tweeter?

Thanks all - this was fun :-)

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