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Top 10 Things that Twitter Can Do

According to nobody, here are the top ten things that Twitter can do:

  • Balance the national budget
  • Detect the presence of anthrax
  • Bullseye womprats
  • Lower your mortgage payment
  • Find lost pets
  • Forge a parent’s signature
  • Slice bread (NOTE: rye only)
  • Debbie
  • Set us up the bomb
  • Cure cancer

Okay, so maybe some items are a bit of a stretch, but given the amount of (positive and negative) attention, you’d think something so simple was doing something truly radical. Here’s the podcast of twenty twitterers tweeting on why Twitter is (or is not) the second coming.

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11 Comments

[...] Pimp That Snack Do you Twitter by Iggy at 05:12PM (CDT) on March 18, 2007  |  Permanent Link  |  Cosmos Ok lets play follow the leader, the sheep, the lamb and the in crowd. Welljust because something is getting tons of buzz doesn’t mean right off hand it’s pure ****. Is this idea really revolutionary? Not really. But everyone is doing it and it’s safer than jumping off a bridge like other people do. So lets all try to be cool like all the cool kids. Yes it sounds like some new kinky *** craze or something a sick animal might do. The question everyone is asking here lately is - Do you Twitter? Oh sure we all do - it’s the in thing to do. Keep in mind this service is slow as all get out. Their setup must not be able to handle all the traffic buzz. So don’t expect a stellar experience at this point. Twitter - Iggy Try out a bit of 2.0 hype with your Twitter. twittervision twittermap Oh come on you know you all want to do it. Join in the fun or whatever you choose to call the experience. Ok yes in reality it’s just another site to pimp yourself and your ego. Promote yourself until your blue in the face. Yes there are many examples of sites that are very similar in concept. But the buzz is here the buzz is now - you gotta join or you’ll never have your chance at the A-list. twitter It’s pissing me off! ~ Chris Pirillo Social media overload « Scobleizer - Tech Geek Twitter — hot service in SF, New York, and now London « Scobleizer - Tech Geek Sugar Creek Covered Bridge Sangamon County, Illinois 2006 - Iggy Uncensored Is filming suicide a documentary or a snuff film - Iggy Uncensored Are we sure this isn’t a name of some new disease? Either way my Twitter is like real life. I’m wondering where all my true friends are and where they have all gone. None of the popular people have had mercy upon me and shown me some geek love. So I’m left alone Twittering to myself. Oh well someone has to try and fight the good fight and keep the world honest now and then. Guess no one loves a BS buster anymore. Twitter it - just a little bit - as it grooves!! Now all of this has gone way to far. The damn which town is the Simpson’s Springfield debate has now hit Twitter. As this Twitter wannabe Homer knows it’s Springfield, IL and no other!! Twitter - homersimpson Anyone else not get Twitter? Top 10 Things that Twitter Can Do ~ Chris Pirillo Profitable Signals » Thoughts from SXSW Click TagJag: twittervision, twittermap, Twittering, Twitter, the, sheep, One, leader, lamb, IT, is, follow, every, doing, crowd, craze [...]

You’re tweetered.

that’s the new term for “you’re nuts”! ;)

aka “touched in the head”. ;)

I say this in the nicest most complimentary way possible. Because I’m your friend, and I care. ;-D

[...] Top 10 Things that Twitter Can Do ~ Chris Pirillo Twitter really -is- amazing! Check out all the things it can do! (tags: twitter) [...]

Ha, it’s funny you should mention womprats - I used to bullseye womprats in my T-16 back home.

[...] Top 10 things that Twitter can do | Chris Pirillo I’m enjoying Twitter humor. [...]

[...] Occasionally, Chris Pirillo gets something wrong. (Hard to believe, I know) But the title of his recent blog entry about the Latest Big Thing®™, aka Twitter was missing one word: it should have said “Top 10 Things Twitter Can NOT Do”… 1. Balance the national budget (if Wikipedia hasn’t done it yet, it ain’t gonna happen) 2. Detect the presence of anthrax (Twitter distributes its own deadly spores) 3. Bullseye womprats (service not available on Tatooine) 4. Lower your mortgage payment (wrong spam message: 92% of male Twitterers have reported increased ***** size - but no pictures) 5. Find lost pets (nope, but it did locate several cats owned by cast members of “Lost”) 6. Forge a parent’s signature (so far, only doctors’ signatures, but even MySpace can do that) 7. Slice bread (NOTE: rye only) (got it backwards… the rye seeds got caught in the tubes) 8. Debbie (no way, because Debbie missed the SXSW and therefore Doesn’t Do Austin) 9. Set us up the bomb (All YOUR base are belong to Digg) 10. Cure cancer (just the opposite: Twittering apparently causes more tumors in rats than smoking, but probably because the rats tried to eat their devices) [...]

[...] # 7 - Slice bread (NOTE: rye only).This news might even cheer up Dare. Posted: Monday, March 26, 2007 7:00 AM by alexbarnett [...]

Twitter can also let you conjure SEO-juicing blog posts like this one ;) Mmm.. nice keywords. heh :D

Hello,

Just wanted to let you know I linked to your blog in my column on CBSNews.com today. Thanks!

If you want to take a look, here’s the link: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/03/27/blogophile/main2611914.shtml

Thanks,

Melissa

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את הטוויטר - אם זה הסמוז של תפוז או ההיפר של היפ (סלקום) - התפוגגו. ייתכן שהתדמית האפורה של הטוויטר נובעת מהשאלה הקיומית  - יש לי טוויטר. אז?מה עושים עם זה?מסתבר שלא מעט, במיוחד אם יש לכם מוצר לשווק. היה רגע בזמן שגעת הפייסבוק שהיה נדמה שהזירה האינטרנטית תחליף את המפגשים הפרונטאליים ועסקאות,

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