The Pukey Little Puppy
I would like to register a formal complaint against the American cracker industry. Seems they can't produce a salty wafer without using the life-sucking virus known as hydrogenated oil. Why so passionate about this particular morsel this morning? My Vegas venture was cut short when I fell victim to food poisoning. At one point, I'm certain I channeled the spirit of Linda Blair. Had it not been for a friend, I probably would have died right there in the middle of my lumpy bed. She ran out and picked up a box of square carbs to help me soak up the bile that had been internally mixed with chicken caesar salad. I was ready to blame the greens when crab shot out of the middle of nowhere and into the crotch pot. Maybe it was shellfish of me to do, but I couldn't help but crack.
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13 Comments
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 12:20pm
Ew.
What a punny entry. Har har.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 1:39pm
oy.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 1:50pm
Tasty Little Crackers (TLC) from Kashi at Whole Foods.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 2:51pm
Premium Saltine Crackers, Fat Free - http://www.dietfacts.com/item.asp?itemid=3802
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 3:01pm
Speaking AS an American Cracker, I think I'm offended!
Oh, wait. You mean, like, saltines and their ilk, eh? All right. You're off the hook, Pirillo. Just barely, though.
I do hope you're feeling better!
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 3:17pm
thank god for friends and crackers but damn who eats when they go to vegas? :)
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 3:48pm
Good friends are hard to find.. glad you had someone around in your hour of need. ;)
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 4:25pm
I'm commenting about an earlier entry concerning the Canon PowerShot camera battery ordeal. I have had my Canon PowerShot A70 for a few months now and have noticed the same thing. I'll be using the camera, being as happy as can be, and then the little red 'battery is low' image will blink a few times and then BAM shuts down like a mother. Very annoying, but I'm a nerd and always carry extra batteries in my camera carrying case.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 6:02pm
Dude, let me know when you break out that 20th Century Edition of Trivial Pursuit. I hope you got the DVD version. :)
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 6:09pm
I take it there were no softshell fat bombs available?
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 6:34pm
Why are you dissing crackers when the salmonella laced chicken and shellfish made you vomit?
You are from IOWA. Eat a damn steak!
Hope you are feeling better!
Anonymous
November 21st, 2003
at 6:43pm
Thanks for sharing, Chris!
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2003
at 6:42am
When your tummy turned vile, and erupted with bile,
You laid on the tile, and thought with a smile,
“My projection, was forceful, I bet that could reach a mile”