The Best Email Flame I Ever Received
When you are subjected to public scrutiny as closely as I am, you have to develop a thick skin. Not everyone is going to like – or agree with – what I do. I’m okay with that. I welcome differing opinions, and even encourage people regularly to post rebuttals to something I’ve said. I’ve received my share of complaints, put-downs, and outright hostile messages over the years. Most of the time, I simply hit the reply button and add nothing other than a smiley face in the response.
I do actually pay attention to these critiques. Some of them, over the years, have helped me to strengthen myself and make changes to the way I do things. I don’t ignore criticism. When someone takes the time to write to (or about) you to suggest you what you did wrong, you should always try to turn that into a positive for yourself. How can you use what they’ve written to make yourself a better person / tech / geek / whatever-you-may-be? How can it enrich what you’re already doing?
Today, I received what has to be the best flame of all time (via email). I’m not going to take the time to respond to each of the points made, because I honestly feel I don’t have anything to prove. This person obviously doesn’t like me. That’s okay. I’m fine with that. The world will not end. Some days I don’t always like me, either! He believes I know absolutely nothing about computers. I believe the work I’ve done over the years speaks for itself.
I do find it humorous that I am apparently single-handedly responsible for nearly everything that is wrong with the entire technology industry today! Who knew I had that kind of power? Go me!
Here is the email, unedited (other than to add proper paragraph breaks and random punctuation marks). I didn’t even correct his incorrect spelling of my name.
Mr. Parillo:
I have seen you a few times, on television and online, and have come to the conclusion that you should find alternative employment. Perhaps re-stocking straws and napkins at McDonald’s… or something else that does not require you to come into contact with sharp objects… or anything more technical than Play-Doh.
I have seen your trite review of the original iPhone, which seems to be nothing more than regurgitating the exact same complaints that everybody else had, weeks before your lame video came out. I have also seen the video of you on TechTV laughing at a man for seeming to have Parkinson’s, when his condition led him to accidentally break a priceless, and irreplaceable, antique wax recording. I have reviewed the video a few times, and found your behaviour and actions to be not just improper, but completely reprehensible and unforgivable. I, fortunately, have never felt the desire to watch TechTV, nor its successor, G4, and have been spared from the bulk of your asinine antics.
The few videos I have seen of you, seem to show you to be less computer-literate than my great-uncle. Granted, my great-uncle was one of pioneers in the advent of the personal computer. My mother herself worked in the Research and Development division of IBM when I was young. Those of us who are old enough to remember punch-card programming, and have been fortunate enough to have started our learning on such machines, have the privilege of calling ourselves true computer “geeks”.
Lame, talentless hacks who seem to know little more about computers than to figure out how to adjust print settings, such as yourself, really have no place at the big-kid’s table. There are, unfortunately, too many of you walking around and trying to pass yourselves off as being knowledgeable, and as sources to trust. It is people like you that hold the industry back and make it seem as if someone who does not posses your startlingly limited understanding of computers are somehow novel, and pitiful.
You are the reason that three years after the launch of the PlayStation 3 all of its games are just tired remakes of older games, with absolutely no innovation, or creativity. You are the sequel-set, dumbing-down the market to make it easier for people to accept cheap imitations of games they played a decade ago.
You, and your ilk, are the reason that so many people have become so complacent with technology, demanding nothing more from the creators of their operating-systems than margin ally better graphics, and a few new sounds. Since the advent of a “graphical user interface” was first developed by Xerox in 1973, and refined by Apple beginning in 1979, there have been no real advances in the personal computer operating-system. The mouse alone has remained largely unchanged since Douglas Engelbart invented it at Stanford Research Institute in 1963 (in addition to his inventing the first GUI at roughly the same time), despite the fact the prototype was invented in 1959, as a track-ball, by Kenyon Taylor, Tom Cranston and Fred Longstaff at the Royal Canadian Navy’s DATAR project. Both the OS and mouse have only seen slight refinements in the almost fifty years the respective technologies have been around.
It is people like you who just bitch and moan, and make insipid and lame attempts at sarcasm, about modern consumer technology, that hold it back. You are not intelligent, nor knowledgeable, enough to offer true criticism of the respective industries. You, instead, rely heavily on their advertising, and other bribes, and offer people nothing more than their own gripes sold right back to them. What this does is support a false sense of empowerment for the average user, and gives them no incentive to become better educated, or demand more from from the companies that sell them this out-dated schlock as though it was something new.
The plasma display alone was invented in 1964, but everyone believed the hype that it was something new, and exotic, when they were re-introduced a few years ago. LCD technology alone is over a hundred years old, with the first, viable, displays being created in 1964 at RCA. The simple fact that you don’t offer serious critiques of out-dated technology being constantly re-packaged and regurgitated on an unsuspecting public, the fact that you have nothing serious or meaningful, the fact that you offer nothing insightful is just further proof you are, at best, completely pointless, and at worst are actively working to aid companies to continue this kind of nonsense.
This says nothing of my earlier example of your being a hateful, callous, spiteful, and selfish person. I suppose there might be something to be said for karma, since it is fortunate you are not on television anymore, and that nobody of any import considers you an expert on anything. Why don’t you do yourself, and your misguided viewers, a favour and be honest about your limited knowledge, that fact that you offer nothing new to anyone. Why don’t you just come out and admit that you are nothing more than an enabler of the bland and senseless discussions in which you engage. Get honest, or give it up and go home. Turn off your computer and try something more your speed, like a Lite-Brite. Maybe you could hone your skills enough to “programme” a smiley-face or something.
Wow! It’s all my fault that PlayStation games suck, that there have supposedly been no “real” advancement in computers since the GUI was introduced, AND that large companies are making their products better and then selling them as something “new.” Cool.
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47 Comments
Mark
November 11th, 2009
at 7:04pm
He used “punch-card programming” as a way to prove his technical prowess… instant fail.
blaster
November 11th, 2009
at 7:05pm
I had no idea that there was a revolution of display technology in 1964. Silly me.
Peter Stinson
November 11th, 2009
at 7:07pm
And you are the reason the economy tanked last year, too. And, you’re responsible for the closed nature of Apple products. And, I know you are responsible for the nor’easter that is battering my home.
Damn you, Chris.
Hunter White
November 11th, 2009
at 7:10pm
Since when is 1964 over a hundred years ago? . “LCD technology alone is over a hundred years old, with the first, viable, displays being created in 1964 at RCA.” I also thought the first T.V cam out in 1928. Huh guess I need to pay more attention to Algebra Class.
Thanks Mr. Parillo you are just as cool as Mr. Lepot
aespe
November 11th, 2009
at 7:10pm
hahaha…. lmao…
just ignore something like this chris, go ahead with what your doing :D
Jason from SingleServeCoffeeDeals.com
November 11th, 2009
at 7:13pm
I stil remember watching TechTV when the old guy dropped and shattered the old recording. I have to admit, it made me laugh pretty hard :)
bradleybradwell
November 11th, 2009
at 7:13pm
This guy obviously got what he wanted, your attention and the attention of your readers. I cannot understand how people like this have the motivation to send someone a hateful email when instead they can just move along and get on with life. This guy, got all the attention he wanted.
Sure Chris has his own “unique” personality, and when it comes to be reviews he can be a little promotional. And, I must admit that it does sometimes sound like a bit of a pitch when Chris reviews a product. But I don’t think it’s his fault that the tech industry is so repetitive.
When it comes down to it, Chris is doing what he knows best and you’re looking at it. If you don’t like it then move on to something else.
Brett Porcelli
November 11th, 2009
at 7:17pm
I wonder how this guy came up with the things he said… You are obviously very knowledgeable when it comes to computers.. your entire business is based on them!
Anonymous
November 11th, 2009
at 7:21pm
This is priceless! It almost sounds like this user had an instance of Wikipedia open while writing you his email to list his ‘knowledgeable’ facts. It is quite funny how immature many people are, childish insults only make everyone laugh (”anything more technical than Play-Doh” LOL).
Keep up the good work Chris.
william clancy
November 11th, 2009
at 7:22pm
I mean hes 100% correct, your entire legacy now is almost entirely bent around advertising and pointless reviews.
if you provided an essential bit of knowledge at some point its long since degraded into the sold your sold version of yourself that we see every day.
Do i miss the old pirillo, of course i do, but to say that you continue to hold a position of authority on any technology anymore is a flat lie.
please give up this lifestyle of advertising, coupons and 7 dollar e books, and start going back to the staples that your videos were founded on.
Adam Landreneau
November 11th, 2009
at 7:27pm
I think I started laughing after the second sentence and didn’t stop until the end. I get these kinds of emails on a regular basis as well and you really do start to not care what people think after a while.
aspinelli8123
November 11th, 2009
at 7:35pm
…This is why I love people. Some just can’t keep their mouths shut, I suppose. Oh well, trolls will be trolls!
David Banther
November 11th, 2009
at 7:44pm
Somebody let grandpa, the disgruntled & senile professor at the nursing home, get a hold of a computer.
Dewayne J
November 11th, 2009
at 7:45pm
I for one like many many others wishes Chris (highly qualified) and a few others were back on TV with a Technology related network, giving their help reviews and opinion on a daily basis to (contrary to the idiotic flame Chris got) help the many many of us tech geeks out here who need it, may crap like this continue to bounce off your thick skin, keep rockin Chris !
Scott Samber
November 11th, 2009
at 8:10pm
There is nothing I can think of to say that has not already been said except for when I read this letter I picture a BITTER old man that doesn’t seem to have contributed a single thing towards the tech we have today either. Unless you want to count his attempt at cutting someone else down for being a conveyor of information and insight.
Barry buttsauce
November 11th, 2009
at 9:25pm
Old man Rant
its a MAN HOSE Chris , A MAN HOSE!!!!!
Old man rant finished.
Sigh what a non contributing ZERO.
Paul T
November 12th, 2009
at 12:24am
This guys just jealous. (lol)
Seriously, If you’re not a fan of Chris, why complain? It’s the Internet! You don’t need to have anything to do with him if you don’t like him.
Robert Smith
November 12th, 2009
at 5:45am
He forgot to mention that YOU are responsible for the punch card’s demise, too!
Azhari
November 12th, 2009
at 8:06am
I felt sorry for this guy, Chris.
Sorry for this guy that consumes the air that we breathe. He must have got his supplies from a nearby helium refinery.
Move along folks, nothing to see here but a spoilt child sitting in the corner with eyes as big as plates blinking into emptiness, being grounded for the wrong reasons.
Marcus Hamaker
November 12th, 2009
at 9:39am
Wow… I would like to see what this man’s contribution to the world is.
Tyler
November 12th, 2009
at 10:39am
this person is obvisouly very very jealous of chris’s success
Billy McGovern
November 12th, 2009
at 8:59pm
Chris…Everything that deals with technology is your fault… You made Microsoft suck too lol
Dena Coe
November 13th, 2009
at 2:38am
Chris, thanks for sharing that with us. You are gifted Geek! I have admired your work for years.
That person was way out of line, and out of touch.
I get evil flame mail every morning, but never before my triple espresso with sugar. :)
Indest
November 13th, 2009
at 5:03am
With all respect, I do see this guys point. How much knowledge does Chris pose when he can barely program. His pixies program are not something to rave about. As for his information, it is usually a reiiteration of what has been said time and time again.
Moreso, Chris has a habit of making fun of people. Must we forget all the call in videos and email read-outs (grammar being at the forefront of the critic)?
For those who are unaware, companies get their feedback from the Internet now a days. If people like Chris (who owns a social empire), promotes lame hardware (and gives a sticker with a happy face for pointless innovations), then he is promoting other companies to bank on the same ideas. People with social empires should challenge the big companies that rely on them for feedback.
KingSteve
November 14th, 2009
at 5:39am
Ya that email was a instant fail starting with Parillo to the last word something.
Scott
November 14th, 2009
at 8:14am
Y’know, I was just about to write something similar to you, Chris. Mainly that point about PlayStation 3 and your blatant responsibility to that platform.
Glad this is cleared up now.
Steve Salken
November 14th, 2009
at 9:30am
The man just wants to show you his grasp on history and to take credit by proxy for these events merely by having been alive when many of them occurred. I’d brush him off, Chris. You’re great..Oh! and shame on you for the Play Station 3 thing!
ArgoDave
November 14th, 2009
at 10:05am
What a load of hoey. While I don’t always agree with what you say I have found useful info from your sources.
Just keep doing what your doing Chris, if you can make a living doing something you love you’re way ahead of most of us and lucky as hell. Take care!
Tom
November 14th, 2009
at 11:04am
Chris is also responsible for the climate change, all the green house gasses being produced today, airline pilots falling asleep at the wheel and showing up drunk for work, the economy being in the tank and my hangnails.
Geez Chris, get a grip!!!
Connor Bryant
November 14th, 2009
at 11:04am
HAH HAH! that was a bit entertaining…
Justen
November 14th, 2009
at 2:18pm
Nerd rage target locked – fired – ooh it’s a miss.
Oren
November 14th, 2009
at 3:50pm
Are you also the cause of Swine Flu, Mad Cow disease, the bird flu, AIDS and cooties?
Tinman
November 14th, 2009
at 4:17pm
No matter what you do or say, someone out there is going to bitch about it. Some people just don’t have a life and have nothing better to do than to spread their misery onto others.
The more I hang around people, the more I like my dog….
yea g
November 14th, 2009
at 4:30pm
Lol, reply to that email with k.
Also, Playstation 3 games don’t suck, this guy is both a Chris Parillo hater and an xbox fanboy
nork
November 14th, 2009
at 4:51pm
I noticed he had nothing to say about his accomplishments in his life! He tells us all about what some of his family might have done but what has be done?
All he did was rant about Chris not knowing too much about computers and selling out to the man. All just opinions and most of his opinions are not worth remarking about.
I think he’s jealous of Chris. Maybe he got turned down for some promotion(s) , perhaps due to his callous and mean attitude, and is taking it out on Chris and perhaps others.
His type is the type who will go into some place and start shooting. They are angry at the whole world for what they are lacking in personality. At least he confines it to words alone!!
I dont comment here often but Chris, you may remember me, possibly, from when you started. My name is Gary.
If you dont remember me i promise not to send you a mean email, lol.
Pogo
November 14th, 2009
at 5:10pm
As a long time Lockergnome reader, I pine for the Chris of old. Really interesting tips and tricks, insightful reviews, personal experiences with new technology. Today we have slick promotional reviews, buy-my-books, little critical review. I mainly at best just skim the newsletters these days, rather than wade through the insipid stuff that passes for real content. Chris, let’s see your teeth again!
Lona
November 14th, 2009
at 7:44pm
i think the guy is nuts to knock what you do. you and your following have helped me a number of times and i thank you for that. yes, you recommend things and yes, i sometimes buy them because you said the program is good. so what? i’d say keep up the good work and if you are powerful enough to cause all that bad stuff could you use that magic so i can win the lottery?
Buffet
November 14th, 2009
at 8:13pm
Either this chump is a psychopath OR you slept with his wife AND his daughter, at the same time, then showed the video to his girlfriend. Keep up the good work.
SoloPocono
November 15th, 2009
at 12:11am
OK folks-first of all, Please chill on the “old x” stuff, (sensitive these days since my wonderful kids sent me a “half-century countdown clock”. Apparently, I either turn into a pumpkin or detonate next year!! :).
Second: wow Chris, I think we’re ALL in awe at the power you hold over technology-as well as apparently mankind!! What color is your super-power man cape??? One more thing-which planet was this glowing “review” sent from??!!
Peace!! PS. Keep up the wonderful and informative work you do!! This entire site is packed full of invaluable info!! Thank You!!
John Kotson
November 15th, 2009
at 5:42am
Damn Chris! He thinks that you made his farts stink too! Lol
He claims that HIS family was involved with cutting edge tech for the last half century or so and that it has stagnated… Well DUH!!! If I had to work with anyone like that, I’d quit and get a job cleaning cattle pens. At least then, if this guy showed his face again I’d be in a position to smack it with an appropriately dirty shovel.
Keep up the good work!
gary bing
November 15th, 2009
at 10:51am
I still run my vacuum over its power cord. And I lament yet another reincarnation of dip in a chip (New. Since the early ’60s.) Chris it’s all your fault. A true Republican would never post this rant. A true Republican will only spew half-truths, buzzwords and do a spin and be evasive about something he’s totally clueless at. And what the hell is Lite Brite? I guess I belong to the biological kingdom clueless, but that doesn’t necessarily make me Republican.
Squeakurs
November 15th, 2009
at 12:30pm
That was the best flame I think I have ever read. Not only did he prove his own technical illiteracy, he blamed bad video games on you.
Then the whole history upchuck was wonderful. It’s so funny when flamers actually check out stuff on Wikipedia before flaming you.
Overall, I lol’d.
Steve
November 16th, 2009
at 5:27am
Maybe I’m just a quart low on perception. This looks to me like a typical poorly written, unfocused, uncommunicative pseudo-flame that typically infests the Internet. It just plain misses the target like a blindfolded kid taking chest-high swings at a pinata hung over his head. The fool is talking at cross-purposes with himself.
Now I have received a proper flame from a flaming genius. Please contrast for style and inventiveness:
[quote]@RR
Since YOU kicked open the hatch…
Go f**k yourself with a stick wrapped in barbed wire you arrogant hypocritical bitch. You may have the wool pulled over the eyes of a few by your walls of pseudo-intellectual text, and by your constant narcissistic desire to hear the sound of your own voice… but you’ve totally disrespected the ability of this community to recognize you as a common BULLSCHITTER and have over-estimated your ability to manipulate the minds of good people here![/quote]
And that was only the beginning of the most hilarious flame I’ve ever read. It got the flamer brigged, of course, but I’m sure he thinks it was worth it. I was laughing so hard I forgot to register a complaint.
But, sir, THAT is a flame: direct, graphic, hostile, easy to understand, hilariously discrediting to the poster himself. I nominate that clown for the best flame of all time, even though I know others will immediately beat it.
So pile on people! Show Chris he’s not alone by a long shot and that creative flaming is an art form.
Dan
November 16th, 2009
at 7:43am
I thought they fried the unabomber.
MerryMarjie
November 17th, 2009
at 11:23am
Just think of the hours and hours it took this man to write this e-mail, finding the precise words, looking up the facts and verifying he has used proper grammar. People this critical agonize over each sentence, choosing words from thesauri with such painful exactness, rolling the phrases on his tongue, double checking his remembrance of history. What a pitiful person.
That being said, I lost my good pen last week and I’m certain you’re responsible for that, too. I’m really happy to find a scapegoat for that!
Paul
November 17th, 2009
at 6:37pm
I just wanted to put this out there, The The PlayStation 3 or rather Sony, has made games that are not necessarily part of the repetitive mainstream market. Sony has released them on the PlayStation store. There are very unique games there. This, the fact that he didnt mention anything current in his rant, and among other things, I don’t want to discuss in this comment because it would take far too much time, draws me to the conclusion that this guy needs to re-evaluate the world.
Roelof
November 17th, 2009
at 8:07pm
Apart from the personal attack at Mr Pirelli, or whatever his name is ;-) I read this with great pleasure. Admit it, the man *can* write. Why don’t you offer him a blog Chris? I would read it on a regular basis; I’m always in for a dose of sarcasm and a good laugh.
And the guy *does* have a point when he talks about “out-dated technology being constantly re-packaged and regurgitated on an unsuspecting public”. Isn’t that exactly what the industry does? Like I’m gonna buy a new, ‘improved’ tv every six months.