The 10 Commandments of Driving in Seattle
Since it's not my list, I'll just share the first five here:
1. The standard driving speed is 5 mph under the speed limit, except during periods of rain or snow, in which case the standard is 10 mph over the speed limit.
2. When merging on the freeway, drivers should activate their turn signal and frantically look over their shoulder while slowing. Under no circumstances should drivers speed up to match current traffic conditions. Bonus points for actually coming to a stop while on an onramp.
3. When approaching a green light, slow in case it turns yellow. Your best case scenario is to slowly continue through the light as it turns red with your brake lights on so traffic behind you is forced to stop.
4. Right of way at four way stops is determined by who makes eye contact first. Should the drivers make eye contact simultaneously, both should then creep forward while waving the other to go. If the right of way can still not be determined, both drivers should get out of their cars and ask the nearest pedestrian.
5. Use of the “horn” (a sound-making device activated by pressing a button on the steering wheel) is not allowed in the city of Seattle under any circumstances.
Some of this would have been good to know a few weeks back. My car is almost as good as new today, courtesy of Mycons Auto Body. The scratches are gone, although a new one recently appeared. If we had anything repaired in LA, it would have (easily) cost twice to three-times as much. I guess it could be worse?
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5 Comments
myShoggoth
November 30th, 1999
at 12:00am
When we go home to Colorado and see the rare person parking over a line, we say “Oh I see someone from Seattle is visiting.” The amount of keying that would be done just blows my mind. Other transplants (and rarely natives) chiming in: Chris Pirillo Seattle Drivers Suck I really expected more, but I couldn’t find it deep in Google and Technorati is full of search result spam. Sigh: From the comments on a post on Raymond Chen’s blog.
Matt Hartley
February 21st, 2005
at 11:43pm
You hit that dead on, Chris. My oh my did you ever. If I could visit Seattle (King County in general) via a hover car, I would love to come down more often. However, with the bumper-hugging morons that live in that city, any trip that is made will soon be wrecked as I end up in a fit of road rage that parallels that of The Incredible Hulk (Hence why I have yet trek over to a 'Seattle meetup').
When Gnomedex comes about however, no amount of stupid drivers will keep me from this event! I will rent a car with GPS, laser cannons and stupid-people-retarding-mind-control-rays in order to guarantee that I arrive safely and sanely. ;o)
Matt Hartley
February 21st, 2005
at 11:44pm
You hit that dead on, Chris. My oh my did you ever. If I could visit Seattle (King County in general) via a hover car, I would love to come down more often. However, with the bumper-hugging morons that live in that city, any trip that is made will soon be wrecked as I end up in a fit of road rage that parallels that of The Incredible Hulk (Hence why I have yet trek over to a 'Seattle meetup').
When Gnomedex comes about however, no amount of stupid drivers will keep me from this event! I will rent a car with GPS, laser cannons and stupid-people-retarding-mind-control-rays in order to guarantee that I arrive safely and sanely. ;o)
Steve Butler
February 22nd, 2005
at 9:12am
Thanks for making me spill my coffee with laughter!
I used to live in a country where the driving test involved a little more than checking your feet could reach the peddles. Everyone there assumed the speedo was already -10% inaccurate and the law would give you another +10% lee-way on-top of that too.
Putting the urge for progress in the glove-box was definitely a culture shock, though on reflection I enjoy driving here a lot more just because I *can* relax a little.
Chris Pirillo is retarted
June 2nd, 2007
at 7:20pm
Move to Idaho ******