Well over a dozen people tuned into NBC’s Sunday night prime time lineup, shattering the network’s previous record of 10. Since the advent of the Internets, fewer intelligent beings have found themselves interested in what Hollywood has to offer.
Yesterday evening, one billion users logged into YouTube.com to upload videos of themselves doing stupid things. This morning, the networks responded in kind – issuing lawsuits against YouTube and every one of its users, claiming they (the television networks) “own the rights to insipid entertainment.” YouTube was again forced to update its Terms & Conditions to the following:
“…by submitting the User Submissions to YouTube, you hereby grant YouTube a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free, uninspired, completely boring, waste of time, I want my five minutes back, who is this dipshit and why do I care, another pointless singalong, a trailer I already saw elsewhere, lame-ass halfwits who just purchased a Webcam, can I punch the ninja yet… oops, where were we? Oh yes: to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform the User Submissions in connection with the YouTube Website and YouTube’s (and its successor’s) business… in any media formats and through any media channels.”
Next week, YouTube is switching to the “I’m not dead yet” RealVideo format to settle the score with another copyright lawsuit holder, Robert Turd – since beating him senseless was out of the question.