Look, I’m a tolerant man. When Pixie wakes me up and asks for a trip to the little doggy’s room at 3am, I don’t yell at her. If Wicket throws up on my MacBook Pro, I forgive him. Eventually.
But seriously, I am out of forgiveness for people who can’t figure out the name of Apple’s iPod Touch.
According to the Apple press event yesterday, it’s the most popular iPod and the #1 game player in the world. It’s been used for over 1.5 billion game and entertainment downloads. It’s cute. It’s thin. It even has an HD video camera and video editing now.
Yet people still get its name wrong. So let me explain it for you in a nice, simple way. There are even pictures to help you out.
This is a cool Apple device that you can use to play games, listen to music, and watch videos.
What you can’t do is call it the iTouch. That is not its name. Please call it the iPod Touch.
This is a simple sentence. It’s made up of the pronoun I and the verb touch.
You can also use those words in more complex sentences like "I touch the base whenever I hit a home run," or "When I think about you, I touch myself."
Although on second thought, if you’re touching yourself, just keep that between you and your naughty little hands. The rest of us really don’t need to know.
Stop that. What the heck is wrong with you? Why would you stick your finger in my eye?
Jeepers. You do have naughty hands, don’t you?
Seriously, dude, eye touching is completely inappropriate.
Now, enough of that. Don’t make me call Wicket. He’ll throw up on your computer.
Are we clear now? The little music/video device is an iPod Touch, not an iTouch.
I won’t be responsible for my actions if you call it an iTouch one more time. In fact, I’ll take suggestions. How should I punish people who call it the iTouch?