Once a year, I can count on my mom sending a practical gift or two. This year, one of the mini-presents was a plastic package opener that would allegedly never go dull. Sounded awesome, as I’ve grown weary of opening up water- and adult-proof plastic containers. Ready for the kicker? The plastic package opener comes in a plastic package that’s equally impossible to open.

Now, I’m all for foiling theives and shoplifters, but the industry must adopt a better standard at foolproof protection. If they’re going to pack something in a plastic coating, at least they could provide USEFUL perforations in key locations. I’m waiting to start getting band-aids in plastic containers so that I can cover my cuts quickly after opening the plastic container containing the band-aids.

Plastic Package Opener Irony