This blog is a treasure trove of personal beliefs, endeavors, and relationships – especially if you scroll back into the archives (near a decade ago). I started it as a personal outlet, separate from any “professional” pursuits (like LockerGnome or Gnomedex). Over time, it evolved into a nexus point for most of my activities. I’ve written less about personal matters in recent years for a variety of reasons – not the least of which is lacking the need to share everything when judgment is all that seems to rain down from the heavens.
My entire adult life has played out online in some form (and it started long before ‘social media’ was a buzzword). Even if I didn’t share an experience here, it might’ve been shared anywhere else on the Internet – as open and free publishing tools have become insanely pervasive. I don’t owe anybody an explanation for why I do what I do in my personal life.
While I continue to embrace new forms of community via emerging platforms (like Google+, the baby on the block), I try to hold inevitable invasiveness at bay. People tend to pry and project – so even when you mean well, just expect that they’ll be mean in return. I strive for transparency, but not so much that I lose everything about myself in the mix. You know I’m a geek, love creating content, and have carved out a career around my passions and interests – and that’s all most people really need to know.
Despite the ease of sharing everything online, I find myself pulling back if a service or community is taking more than it gives.
Having played out certain parts of my past personal relationships online, I’ve learned that the fewer details I give, the better. I was reluctant to even bring up my girlfriend’s name, for fear that her own identity would be fully revealed and people would pander, attack, exploit, and otherwise emotionally harm her. It slipped out in a recent (planned) live video on YouTube, wherein I wanted to introduce her to my world of followers:
Inevitably, there’s always some dumbass who finds it proper to dredge up times and names past (in an attempt to evoke shame). They’re the “people” who keep me from sharing everything. Lucky for me, my girlfriend understands – and only plays with social media on the outskirts. I don’t think I could ever be with someone who used Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Google+, or anything else the way that some people (like myself) do. There’s always the risk of overexposing a personal pain and suffering the unintended consequences.
For that reason, and that reason alone, my girlfriend’s full identity (and face) will be kept intentionally off the radar until we’re damn well ready to share more. People have caught lighthearted glimpses and have guessed incorrectly – to what end? She’s not going to open her life to you, and I don’t blame her.
I barely want to open up my life to you – and I’ve been doing that for fifteen years.
I consider just about every social media outlet a blog, too – all the way down to a tweet. You’re sharing information, right? What does it matter where or how you share it? Now we’re just down to arguing semantics. I don’t share details about my personal life anymore because it’s MY personal life, not yours.
What you see of me, you see, and upon that data, you’ll form your own judgments and opinions. Understand, however, that you only see a fraction of the person I really am – and it’ll remain that way for the rest of my life. I need to save things for myself and my truly loved ones.
I love you, too – but I gotta keep most of y’all at a comfortable distance.