Tag Archives: Life

Why I Don’t Blog About My Personal Life Anymore

This blog is a treasure trove of personal beliefs, endeavors, and relationships – especially if you scroll back into the archives (near a decade ago). I started it as a personal outlet, separate from any “professional” pursuits (like LockerGnome or Gnomedex). Over time, it evolved into a nexus point for most of my activities. I’ve written less about personal matters in recent years for a variety of reasons – not the least of which is lacking the need to share everything when judgment is all that seems to rain down from the heavens.

My entire adult life has played out online in some form (and it started long before ‘social media’ was a buzzword). Even if I didn’t share an experience here, it might’ve been shared anywhere else on the Internet – as open and free publishing tools have become insanely pervasive. I don’t owe anybody an explanation for why I do what I do in my personal life.

While I continue to embrace new forms of community via emerging platforms (like Google+, the baby on the block), I try to hold inevitable invasiveness at bay. People tend to pry and project – so even when you mean well, just expect that they’ll be mean in return. I strive for transparency, but not so much that I lose everything about myself in the mix. You know I’m a geek, love creating content, and have carved out a career around my passions and interests – and that’s all most people really need to know.

Despite the ease of sharing everything online, I find myself pulling back if a service or community is taking more than it gives.

Having played out certain parts of my past personal relationships online, I’ve learned that the fewer details I give, the better. I was reluctant to even bring up my girlfriend’s name, for fear that her own identity would be fully revealed and people would pander, attack, exploit, and otherwise emotionally harm her. It slipped out in a recent (planned) live video on YouTube, wherein I wanted to introduce her to my world of followers:

Inevitably, there’s always some dumbass who finds it proper to dredge up times and names past (in an attempt to evoke shame). They’re the “people” who keep me from sharing everything. Lucky for me, my girlfriend understands – and only plays with social media on the outskirts. I don’t think I could ever be with someone who used Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Google+, or anything else the way that some people (like myself) do. There’s always the risk of overexposing a personal pain and suffering the unintended consequences.

For that reason, and that reason alone, my girlfriend’s full identity (and face) will be kept intentionally off the radar until we’re damn well ready to share more. People have caught lighthearted glimpses and have guessed incorrectly – to what end? She’s not going to open her life to you, and I don’t blame her.

I barely want to open up my life to you – and I’ve been doing that for fifteen years.

I consider just about every social media outlet a blog, too – all the way down to a tweet. You’re sharing information, right? What does it matter where or how you share it? Now we’re just down to arguing semantics. I don’t share details about my personal life anymore because it’s MY personal life, not yours.

What you see of me, you see, and upon that data, you’ll form your own judgments and opinions. Understand, however, that you only see a fraction of the person I really am – and it’ll remain that way for the rest of my life. I need to save things for myself and my truly loved ones.

I love you, too – but I gotta keep most of y’all at a comfortable distance.

What is a Day in Your Life Like?

In conjunction with the “Life in a Day” promotion on YouTube, I decided to create a video about my life, and answers the questions put forth by the YT team.

  • What do you love the most? – More than anything in this world, I love the fact that I can be ME. I’m fortunate to be doing the things I love every day, and to be making money at the same time. Most people never have that chance, and I’m happy that I can do so. I have been creating content and making things happen online since before the word online was even coined! I’ve been reflecting more and more on good things in life, and trying to pay less attention to negatives in life.
  • What do you fear the most? – I fear losing the freedoms that I enjoy, including freedom to be who I am. I cannot be something – or someone – that I’m not. It’s not a part of my DNA. I don’t understand how people go to work every day in a job or career that they hate. My largest fear is that I could lose myself in something I hate.
  • What makes you laugh? – Nearly everything makes me laugh. I find it difficult to hold back laughter. Anything can be made funny for the most part. Laughter is an important part of my life, and should be an important part of yours, too.
  • What do you have in your pockets? – I happen to have LEGO MiniFigs in my pockets. With my birthday coming up, I went to the LEGO store and bought myself a few Star Wars LEGO kits for myself to play with.

What are your answers to the Life in a Day questions?

Living Life to the Fullest

A few moments ago, I read a tweet by my friend Chris Brogan. It said simply: Know what kills you in life? Not living.. Holy wow…

Chris is right. Sure you’ll continue to breathe if you don’t go out and embrace every moment of life. But is that really living? I don’t think it is, no. Standing in place and letting time slip by isn’t living. Staying stagnant in your career, relationships and personal growth aren’t living. Convincing yourself that your life, mind and soul are okay as they already are isn’t living.

Living is about embracing life. It’s about always pushing yourself to do more… to be more. It’s about challenging your mind, opening it to new experiences and learning opportunities. Living is about changing directions sometimes so that you never become stuck in a rut. Living life means that you are constantly growing and changing in every aspect you possibly can.

Those few words from Chris are very powerful, and provide much food for thought. What do you think? How do you define living life? It will be very interesting to see what everyone has to say on this subject, and to learn how varied our opinions can be at times.

This wasn’t the only thought-provoking thing I’ve read so far today! As always, our community members are busy producing some excellent content. Are you one of them? If not, you can join us in our community today!

Today in our downloads center, you’ll find a handful of excellent deals on programs for your Mac OS X system! Be sure to check back daily to see what’s new.

What Little Things are You Missing out On?

Surely by now, you’ve come to realize that it’s the little things in life that matter the most: a hug from a good friend, a word of support from someone you respect, thanks from a boss or co-worker. These things can certainly make your day much easier to get through. Taking time out to do things that are important to no one other than yourself are also some of those “little things” that can make life so much more bearable at times when things are tough.

I’m just as human as the rest of you. I get so caught up in the things I have to get done, that I sometimes forget those little things. I don’t remember to stop and smell the proverbial roses as often as I should. I may not always be able to respond to each email I get (I DO read them all!). My schedule may be full, not allowing me to attend something you’ve invited me to. That’s the way life goes, eh? We can’t have it all, we can’t do it all, and we certainly can’t BE it all.

Think about how good you feel when someone supports or thanks you for something out of the blue. Remember what it’s like to be the recipient of a hug, phone call or email for no reason other than to say “hey, how ARE you?”. Reflect for a moment about how much easier life can be when you take time to do something you love. Now… here is my challenge for the day: go forth, and spread the cheer. Call someone up you haven’t talked with in awhile. Tell that person who may really need to hear it “hey – thanks – you ROCK!”. Send your Mom some flowers to thank her for putting up with your butt (note to self.. call florist!).

Once you’ve spread as much happiness to others as you can, sit down and make yourself calmer and happier. Do something for even a half an hour a day that will make YOU feel better. What is it you’d do with 30 whole minutes to yourself, to do as you please? You know my answer… I spend my extra time reading through what all of you are up to. Why don’t you try it out for yourself? You may learn something new, get a few laughs, or make a new friend… starting the circle over again.

How Much of Your Life is Online?

Earlier tonight, I posted here on my blog about what to do with your digital assets when you pass away. That’s quite thought-provoking, isn’t it? Think about it. I bet you have a Myspace or Facebook account. You probably have a Twitter account. I *hope* you have a Geeks account. You have email accounts. You have IM accounts. I have no idea what all other websites and forums you might belong to, as well. Face it – your life is online a lot more than you probably realize.

Thinking of our own mortality is not something we generally like to do. I know I don’t, and I’m willing to bet you don’t either. Sadly, it’s a fact of life… we will all die one day. Instead of putting something important off until a tomorrow that may never come, you should do something about it today. Check out that post, and the site that it talks about. Do yourself, your friends, your family and your social contacts a favor, and make the inevitable a little easier for them to manage.

I didn’t only read my own posts today, though. Of course I spent time going through our great community, seeing what all of you are up to. I love doing these roundups, where I can highlight some of the best that’s out there. Make sure you take time to check in on others… and post something great yourself, so that you can be featured next!

When Do Personal Blogs Get too Personal?

Geek!This is Thomas Ward’s submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

I love to read other people’s blogs. Not because I like to pry into the personal affairs of others, but because I like to know how people of other cultures live their respective lives. I have found blogs to be very enlightening, especially when you come across a firsthand journal of a different land’s customs and social trends. In some cases, it can even be an educational experience. In most cases, however, I have found blog posts to be a great way to let others know your opinions on the issues that matter to you, as evidenced by the blog posts of Senator Barack Obama and John McCain.

During my online travels, however, I have begun to notice a rather unsettling trend. It seems that almost every personal blog is required to have at least one post in which the writer airs some sort of personal drama that they’re going through. Whether it is a bad breakup, a friendship gone awry, or some sort of problem with their significant other, you can guarantee that it will end up on the Internet somewhere.

How did this trend start? Considering that most people would rather remain anonymous on the Internet, it seems that people are more willing to open up about their personal lives online than in previous years (no facts or figures, just an observation). Not only that, people have continued this trend, knowing that anything they post in their blog can, and most possibly will, be used against them in some way.

Posts, written in graphic detail, recount the fact, figures, and, sometimes, even names of the people involved. Last week, I even saw a blog post from a lady in which she even asked people to write her boyfriend and tell him that he’s a jerk! In some cases, I have even seen pre-pubescent boys (who, otherwise, shouldn’t have their own Web site, much less a blog) write horrible things about their parents.

Now, not all of the stuff I’ve seen online has been bad. Numerous times, I have seen people (both male and female) reach out for advice through their blogs. Usually, posts like these involve someone going through a hard time in their life, such as a death in the family, a recent breakup, or a small argument they’ve had with their best friend. These posts, while still personal in nature, are usually a little more vague than the kinds I mentioned before. It is these types of posts that I actually enjoy reading and, in many cases, responding to. As a matter of fact, many online friendships have actually stemmed from this sort of contact.

I don’t know how this trend got started, but I honestly think that it needs to stop. If you want to air your personal business or get something off of your chest, do like most people and go see a psychologist. There are a lot of things that belong on the Internet, but your personal business is not one of them. And, if you are going to post something about your personal life, at least be sure to be vague in your storytelling. After all, you never know who your blog posts could hurt, or what repercussions it could reap.

What Do You See When You See Me?

Geek!This is Jason Bell’s submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

What do you see when you see me? Do you just see the outside? Or can you see my heart? Do you see the guy that dreams of a better life, or just dreams of having what many take for granted? Can you see just a white guy or can you see my true heritage? Can you see a believer or do you just see one who has sinned? Do you see the guy who dreamed of knowing who he is or can you just see where I am now? Do you see the guy who hurts when he hears someone talking down to someone because of their name or the color of their skin? Do you see the broken heart that is broke from the loss of someone that he has never known?

To be honest, I don’t know why I’m writing this. I don’t know if anyone but me will ever read this. I guess I just have to get it out of my system. I would have to say that I’m heartbroken. The sister that I care so deeply for died in a fluke motorcycle accident by some punk kid. My only living grand pa died when I was only three. The other died when my father was only fourteen. One who was like a sister my niece who was six months older than me died in 1986 in a trailer fire. She was one of my truly best friends.

Just the other day I was thinking of how she would have grown up and if she had children. Would they have the same zeal for life that their mother did? I always laugh and say that I was an uncle before I was born, but every time I say it my heart breaks from the loss that still brings tears to my eyes. You know usually I try to write stories that make me feel good, but sometimes the truth can help. Sometimes truth can heal and sometimes, most of the time truth can cut like a cold dull knife pearsing your soul.

I guess this is therapeutic. I guess this is good for the soul and I guess all this is self centered. I guess I know that this won’t change anything, but life is funny and life is sad.

We all have our broken hearts, even the ones that no one knows about but ourselves. Whether its heart break from lose of a loved one or an unrequited love. We all wonder what our life would be like if we had stepped up and faced our fears. What would life have been like if I told the girl that still haunts my heart that I loved her? Would she have let me down gentle or would she have returned my feelings. I will never know. She did tell me that she loved me, but was it because she was one of the best friends I will ever have or did she share the longing to tell me what I so wanted to tell her? She was the only girl that I ever felt my heart beat for, but she was the one I couldn’t tell.

I often wonder if I was born a different person, would I still be me. I don’t think so. As crazy as my family can be they are still part of me. After all we share a foundation, we share life experiences we share the pain of the same loss and the joy of the same triumphs.

There are a few things that I know. I know my daddy loves me and I know my momma loves me. There is a lot that I don’t know. Will I ever find someone to call my own or will it just be me for the duration. Forever bound for a table of one.