I admit it: I’ve been known to tell a blonde joke or two in my day. I’m fairly certain you’d be lying if you said you have never told a joke that bashed on someone’s hair color, religion or sexual preference. We all do it at times. However, as is being pointed out over on Lockergnome, those jokes can really hurt someone. What is funny to one person can be considered hate speech or cruelty to another. How do we know where to draw the line?

My assistant Kat will be the first person to say she can be a complete blonde at times. When she says that, she’s poking fun at her quirky side… the one that forgets little stuff, spaces out on what day it is and just generally loses herself for a moment. However, she is one hell of a smart woman at the same time. To her, a blonde joke isn’t something that bothers her. She could likely tell you the funniest ones you’ve ever heard.

To other blondes, having someone tell a blonde joke is tantamount to starting the next World War. They take serious offense to it and will show no mercy when telling you off about it. This is what I’m talking about… what is acceptable to one person may be offensive to the next. How do you know where and when to get your laugh on?

• Are we about to see the death of Blockbuster?
• Are you a Gimp expert?
• Are there any software titles out there to help reset and keep track of BIOS passwords?
• How did hackers knock YouTube off the air?
• How can you reuse sandwich wrap? Let me count the ways…
• Have you tried to create your own Steampunk gun?
• What is a good resource for finding reliable software tutorials?
• Netflix apologizes and offers a streaming-only plan to the U.S.
• When will the Microsoft-guided press lighten up?
• How do you plan to stay focused today?
• Is it better to air-cool or water-cool your computer?
• Thieves really ARE robbing homes based on Facebook statuses, tweets and location-based checkins.
• Having a desk that isn’t sturdy can lead to some very undesirable results… including an iMac that belches dust.
• Which Linux distro is best when building a home server?
• Is it possible to dry a piece of paper and have it be as good as new?
• Why are the Irish so different?!
• How do you disengage yourself from toxic relationships?
• What is a good barebones computer spec to look for?
• All Android-powered devices are NOT Droids.
• How do you update your Catalyst drivers?
• What are the operating system requirements for Internet Explorer 9?
• Could there be an HP Slate in the wild?
• Do you encode music with a high bitrate?
• When is Verizon’s 4G service coming to your city?
• What important lessons have you learned from others?
• Could we use Cloud-Seeding Engineering to solve Global Warming?
• Do cheesy commercials annoy you and keep you from buying a product?
• Which television season premieres are you most looking forward to?

There’s no joking when it comes to finding the software and apps you need to make your life easier.

How to Tick Off a Blonde

Strange things sometimes happen while I am recording videos. Thankfully, people like Kevin are there to record each one of them. This one has a simple explanation behind it: some idiot troll came into our live chat room with the handle fartfacebuttlick.

How was I supposed to resist? Seriously?

Live Recording Outtakes are the Best

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I started the countdown 24 hours ahead of time for my iPad unboxing. UPS was kind enough to make a mistake, and delivered it early! I set it out on my desk, and spent the day teasing everyone about the fact that I was going to get to open it early. I nearly burst at the seams trying to wait, trust me. I was dying to get my hands on my new iPad on this specific date.

Now that you’re mad at me because this wasn’t a real unboxing, why not join us on the live stream on Saturday? The real iPad will be arriving, and I WILL be unboxing it live.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

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Unboxing the Apple iPad Live

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I’m convinced that my computer is haunted. At least, it is temporarily. I’ve got a little USB attachment plugged in called the Phantom Keystroker. It’s an easy and fun way to play an awesome prank on others. You don’t have to install any software or drivers for this little gadget to work. All you must do is plug it into any open USB port on a computer, and you’re off!

You can choose from three different annoying modes, or choose to alternate between all three:

• Random mouse movements across the screen.
• Caps-lock turning itself off and on
• Odd garbage text and phrases being randomly “typed” on the screen.

You can choose the frequency these things happen. However, don’t set it too close together. If you set them a bit further apart, your friend or co-worker will be less likely to realize right away it’s a joke… and will think their computer has been possessed!

Keep in mind this is a joke. The mouse buttons aren’t actually clicked, and the caps lock button is never actually “pushed” down. However, you shouldn’t use this on someone’s computer while they are doing work that is critical or unsaved. If they were to think that something is very wrong with their system and shut down to “save” it… yeah. They might lose some work. Use your best judgment before trying this device out on anyone!

Have fun, and lots of laughs!

Remember, if you’re interested in buying this – or anything else from ThinkGeek – be sure to check to see if I have a coupon for it!

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How to Prank Your Friends and Co-Workers

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The top story on today’s news was regarding the unprecedented security breach that will affect millions of Americans. Things such as stolen Social Security numbers and closed bank accounts led to the Federal government issuing a Burn Notice.

According to one insider, those individuals at risk will basically cease to exist. They all live in Washington, and were all born in the 1970s. Their bank accounts will be wiped, Social Security numbers will be erased, cell phones will be blocked, and even their emails will disappear.

The news team tried to track down Bureau Chief Mr. Thomas to get comments. The newscaster told Mr. Thomas: “One of the lives the facility is about to ruin is that of Chris Pirillo. He’s someone who lives for his blog, and it will now be deleted. Aren’t you even going to apologize?”.

I guess I better start figuring out what my next venture will be.

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Is Your Digital Security at Risk?

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People care about keeping city streets clean. Unfortunately, some people take it too seriously. A Seattle man was taking out his trash, and somehow got himself stuck inside the street sweeper. Officials are feverishly working to get the man out, because he has dust allergies. That man is Chris Pirillo.

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Never Stand too Close to a Street Sweeper

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Due to the overwhelming response to all the videos we uploaded on April 1st… I have decided to revert my decisions. Everything will go back to the way it was the day before APRIL FOOL’s day!

I still can’t believe how many people fell for all of them. The date is stamped onto each video we record and upload. I gotta tell you… I love that holiday. You know it will happen next year, as well. It’s funny how many people sent me emails begging me to not quit streaming, telling me they now hate me… it was insane!

I wasn’t really able to trick Ponzi this year. I did manage to put a icky-looking remote control spider in the middle of the kitchen floor. She didn’t really fall for it though, since the remote decided not to work. The worst prank I ever played would have to be the time I decided to use a mail-merge function in the Pirillo’s Picks. I moved the variable up to the top, instead of having it at the bottom. I said “The newsletter is getting too big. I’m going to have to unsubscribe ten people every day… until it’s down to a manageable size.”. I then used the new rule to add in nine fake email addresses, and number eight always showed up as the person’s email address who was reading the newsletter at the time. My list grew that day by over 20,000 people. I’m not kidding. That many people re-subscribed, thinking they had been unsubscribed! So, they pulled out another email address and subscribed again. It was funny, but people were seriously freaking out BIG time. I had to immediately send out an apology email.

Even though I love to play pranks, I really do try to make sure not to do them at other’s expense. I don’t mean to hurt anyone, or seriously anger them. I hope you all had fun along with me!

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Those Videos were April Fool’s Day Jokes!

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Every year, Ponzi and I discuss having a Christmas party. Every year, it turns into us sitting at home drinking Egg Nog. Well, it’s more like me drinking it, since she doesn’t even like it. I prefer my Egg Nog to have nothing added to it. Just give me egg… and nog.

I decided to send Ponzi a little reward, and make it look like I indulged in a bit more than just egg and nog. I reinstalled Vista SP1 just for this purpose. I warmed up the copy machine, dropped the back of my drawers, and made her a pretty picture!

However, it appears as though Vista SP1 may still have some issues.

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Christmas Party Ideas