This is GeekofTodd submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

There are tons of free games on the web that can be accessed at any time and the best thing is that you don’t lose anything if you want to try it! Some of these freeware games really are true gems that are unique and fun to play. Others are… more an “experience”, making yourself question who was the crazy fool who made this game and laughing at the ridiculousness.

These kind of games are the games you tell your geek friends about and the games that make you play for an hour even though most say you probably shouldn’t . The best part about this list is that you can go out (depending on the operating systems you have available) and get each of these games. So I hope you enjoy my personal list of the most insane games for free on the internet.

5. Toribash

I think a lot of us can say we enjoy a good fighting game. I also think a lot of people enjoy a good strategy game, so… why not combine them!!! Toribash fuses these two genres into a unique game, mixed in with good old blood and dismemberment.

You take control of a man and you are able to control the action of his body parts with a set of commands. Your commands include stiffing, relaxing, contracting or retracting which can be done to the arms and legs for example. You can then construct a series of actions that can cause your guy to jump, bend down, and much more. Where the strategy really comes into play is after you are happy with your actions, you hit the space bar and your character moves for one second then stops again. You can then make changes to what actions you want or keep it the same. This allows you to create a large list of some awesome Kung Fu moves that you can use to kill your enemy!

It takes a bit to get used to, but they make it pretty easy to see what your doing thanks to having a ghost-like onion skin displaying the action that would happen with that certain combination. It is a lot of fun to mess around with, and very satisfying when you perform a cool looking move, decapitating your enemy with bloody goodness.

4. M.U.G.E.N

I have no idea what the acronym is, but I do know there is a strong intrigue in crossover games. Kingdom Hearts, Marvel vs Capcom 2, and the recent Mortal Kombat vs DC Comics are just a few examples. This game takes it a bit further by being a fighting game that allows user-generated content into the game, so there is an infinite number of characters from an infinite number of creative venues.

The game is a 2D fighting game with a lot of special moves and what-not, but have you ever wondered weather Homer Simpson could beat Peter Griffin in a fight? Now you can! Many of the most insane scenarios can be constructed and there are always new packs being added to this game. It’s fun, wacky, and completely modifiable.

3. I Wanna Be the Guy: The Movie: The Game

People who played old Nintendo and Super Nintendo games know that they were generally harder then today’s crop of games. Well, this game beats both generations for game difficulty hands down.

You play “The Kid” who goes questing to become “The Guy” and you set off in a platforming, shooting adventure of pure death. I’m not kidding that this game is ridiculously difficult, 90% of the ground you will cross will have the direct desire to kill you. There are split-second jump sequences that require perfect positioning and timing. You die in one hit, and the bosses have an extremely large amount of life and horrid attack patterns.

This game makes its gameplay philosophy more obvious by creatively using many old Nintendo characters as bosses for the game. Nothing beats having to fight a giant Mike Tyson for the NES game Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. The Nintendo characters are used creatively throughout the game, creating many reactions from the player. Some will love revisiting these characters but most will hate having to fight them.
This game is not for the casual player. I’d go as far to say it isn’t even for today’s hardcore crowd who play first person shooters. This game works as one of those masochistic games that will require dozens of retries per level and may take months to beat, but it is all worth it in the end.

2. Off-Road Velociraptor Safari

In this game you play a velociraptor driving a jeep with a giant dragging flail at the back of the car. Your goal is to drive that jeep and earn as many points as possible doing tricks off of ramps, collecting orbs, running over other velociraptors, and hitting velociraptors with your flail.

It is not the most complex game in the world but it is a game called Off-Road Velocirator Safari. This game is one of those games where you wonder who was on crack when they made it, but your so glad they were.

1. Desert Bus

A name like “Desert Bus” is one of those titles that sounds like it is some obscure but fun game that most who stumble upon it will love, and that is just the case. You are a bus driver driving from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada. There is no one in your bus except you. There are no cars or obstacles on the road at all. The road is a straight line and the bus veers slowly to the right, so you have to keep tapping the controller to straighten it. If you get of the road, you will be transported back to Tucson.

The actual driving of the bus is in real time so it takes about 8 hours one way, the game cannot be paused. Once you reach Las Vegas you have to quickly decide to drive back to Tucson or the game will end. Each time you drive one way to the location, that is 1 point.

This game is so much fun, people play it for charity. A charity group played the game for over 5 days straight to raise money for the organization Child’s Play. The highest record I’ve heard for the game is a score of 24 points (to Las Vegas and back 12 times, about 192 hours). You can find the game here. It is so much fun and it is one of the most innovative games I have played in a long time.

Do you have a favorite freeware game? Please post comment on what you thought of the list, reactions to games, or freeware games you think are great or would be better suited for the list.

• What Cross-Platform Freeware Games Can You Download?
• News Flash: New Environmentally Friendly Font Reduces Ink Consumption
• What’s your Favorite Mac Freeware?
• Unique Mac OS X and Windows Freeware
• Mac Freeware to Help you Deal with Windows Files
• How and Where to Find Free Software
• Top Ten List of Free Windows Programs
• Windows Freeware
• Mad Libs in Chat Rooms
• Games to Play with Friends: Mad Libs

How about some Mad Libs with our live chat room? The first Mad Lib result has already been posted to a separate Games to Play post. Here’s the second Mad Lib, all about “Cultural” stuff:

Ballet – Ballet companies are springing up like BANANA SPLITS all over the country. Ballet is a form of dance in which male and female HAMMERS tell a story through movement of their ARMS and KIDNEYS to LONELY music. Two of the best known ballets are POOP lake and JUMPING beauty.

Opera – Thanks to the three DRUNK tenors, Pavoratti, Domingo and KILOHERTZ, Opera is once again played to pack CHINCHILLAS in every major MARGARITA in the country. Tales of their tapes and compact AARDVARKS have established this trio of tenors as America’s favorite INTERNETS.

Symphony – Classical music is making a SQUISHY comeback these days. Symphony orchestras led by FUNKY conductors are once again playing the STINKY melodies of such musical ROOMBAS as Bach, Beethoven and LIN. Once again, auditoriums are filled with BRAIN FARTS of all ages who rejoice listening to a vioin solo or a HEMORRHOID concerto.

Thanks (again) to a community leader, Bwana, for transcribing the event. Watch it unfold:

• Games to Play with Friends: Mad Libs
• Top 5 Most Insane Freeware Games

We pulled of a live community Mad Libs, with the second game posted to over here. The first Mad Lib is totally educational:

Here is LORDKAT’s report card for the PRETTY 8th grade. He has received a “K” in English, an “E ” in Mathematics, and an “A” in social SOAPS. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing PARK in BUCKET education, because his broken HEAD prevented the taking of the final TREE. This COOL class can be made up in our summer COMPUTER. The school believes a “PARROT NAILCLIPPER’s conference” is necessary to discuss LORDKAT’s SWEET behavior. He continues to draw MELTY pictures on the bathroom MACBOOK PRO and talks QUIETLY behind the teacher’s NOSE. Please call the principals house for a HOT appointment immediately.

Sincerely,

Mrs. SMITH
Head SECRET AGENT

Kinda fun. :) Thanks to Bwana for transcribing the event. Watch it unfold:

• Mad Libs in Chat Rooms
• Top 5 Most Insane Freeware Games