Ack. Thpt.

I didn’t know what to get Ponzi for Valentine’s Day. Really, truly. I always seem to pick the “wrong” jewelry and clothing styles when we’re out and about, so I didn’t even bother to go that route. Flowers? No. Chocolates? No. A Nintendo DS Lite – white, to match her iPod (which she did appreciate).

The hardware was sitting behind a locked case at Target, so I had to locate a “keymaster” employee. Since I wasn’t sure if Ponzi would want white or black, I got one of each. There were also a handful of games in front of me, so I asked about a few of ‘em. Was that the original Super Mario Bros? “Yeah, but it’s like the old, old, old one from the old NES.”

DUDE?! I grew up with that game system! Hell, I was a frosh in high school when Zelda was my princess! OLD?! Does it look like I wear dentures? Do you see any grey hairs? I whacked the kid with my cane, pivoted in the Little Rascal, and wheeled away with those handheld game units tightly pressed against my Searsucker.

Old. I’m old!?

I’m Old?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!