This email starts out with a familiar tone:

My name is Shean (pronounced like Sean or Shawn) and I’ve been a fan of yours ever since the good ol’ days of TechTV. You know, back when stuff on television was awesome!

But then it takes a turn for the worse:

Anyway, I’m contacting you because I’m in a situation that I would like to share with you. I’m a self-proclaimed geek with absolutely zero access to all the fun and cool things that geeks love to play with. The reason for this is because… wait for it…

I’M A DIAL-UP USER and not by choice.

Holy shit.

I’ve been using dial-up for the past 10 years and I’ve been trying to get broadband for nearly 5 of those years. There is nothing better than dial-up available where I live. Well, there is satellite service, but it’s very expensive and doesn’t even come close to what DSL and cable has to offer. I typically download large files because of my small computer repair business, so wireless Internet is out of the question. Monthly 5GB cap limits simply won’t do when I’m downloading large programs and updates for my customers. Dial-up is slow as heck, but at least it’s completely unlimited with no extra charges.

I can’t enjoy streaming video, can’t download songs from iTunes, and can’t play games online. I don’t own any Internet capable devices because they simply won’t work where I live. I don’t even own a cell phone. Social networking services like Twitter and Facebook are no fun when all you have is dial-up. The Internet itself is a tiresome chore. Websites have become way too big and flashy for a dial-up user.

I used to be able to keep up with a little effort, but now it’s pretty much impossible. I’ve contacted many telecoms and cable companies in my surrounding area, but they simply won’t bring broadband into my little community. I’ve thought about moving to a new location, but that’s easier said than done. I understand that the government is trying to improve broadband in the US, but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? I’m tired of living in 1998 and I need quality service at this very moment.

Life is downright boring without proper Internet and technology as a whole is leaving me in the dust, Chris. What would you do in my situation?

What would YOU do, gang?

What Would You Do if You Were Stuck on Dial-up?