Chris Pirillo » dating

How To Tell If Your Date Is a Potential Train Wreck

coupons — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 00:11:48 +0000

How To Tell If Your Date Is a Potential Train Wreck is a post from Chris Pirillo

This is Katie Darden’s submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

Let’s face it, dating is a gamble – especially today. First you have to find someone who appears to be interesting, then you have to spend enough time together to find out if you’re reasonably compatible. And what makes it harder is that most people start out on their “best behavior” – at least for the first few months.

So you spend several months getting to know each other, becoming comfortable with the cute little idiosyncrasies, and generally investing lots of emotional energy into this new relationship. Imagine your disappointment when you suddenly realize that those idiosyncrasies have become an irritation. And not just a minor irritation, but a major pain-in-the-neck! Now you’re not so sure you want to be with this person any longer. In fact, depending on what you’ve finally discovered or realized, you may be looking for any possible escape from a situation that is making you miserable!

Luckily not all relationships end up this way. And, there’s actually a way to spot trouble before it starts. If you take the time to learn how to recognize a few red flags, you may be able to see the (hand)writing on the wall long before you get into a mess in the first place.

Using simple graphology (handwriting analysis), you can learn a lot about how a person interacts with the world. This information can help you avoid a dating “Train wreck” before it happens. So go grab a sample of your prospective date’s handwriting, and let’s see how it matches up with the handwriting traits listed below. You can use a note, a shopping list, a letter – whatever you can find that has a few words scribbled on it.

Train wreck Traits to Watch Out For

There are several letter formations (traits) that, when taken together, indicate trouble. Here are five you can learn that will help you recognize when to put the brakes on. One or two may be acceptable, but if your date has all five, you’re in for a rocky ride!

Trait #1 – Lying loops

The loops in our handwriting indicate imagination. When the letter “o” has double loops, the person has a difficult time being honest with himself or with others. If the loops overlap, creating a third (inner) loop, this person is a pathological liar and will make up stories even when the truth is better. If honesty is important to you, then avoid this person altogether.

Trait #2 – Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem is probably the number one problem facing people today. The person with a low self-image is not only afraid of failure, but is also afraid of making changes because those changes could lead to failure.

This shows up in the handwriting as very low cross bars on the letter “t”, and often manifests as being highly self-critical and unworthy. People with low self esteem will often bend over backwards in their relationship and simply put up with unkind treatment from their partner. Unfortunately they tend to believe they deserve the mistreatment they receive, and so they stay in a bad relationship.

While it may be attractive to be with someone who is outwardly very generous in the beginning of a relationship, those with low self esteem can also be so unsure of themselves that they become clingy, needing more and more of your time and energy. In general, the higher the cross bar, the higher the self esteem.

Trait #3 –Needs a Challenge (and Makes it You)

See how the top of the letter looks like a stinger? People who have “stingers” in their writing usually have an unresolved power issue with an authority figure of the opposite sex. This often has its roots in childhood or adolescence and may have been with a parent, a close relative, or some other adult who exerted power or authority over them.

As they get older, they find themselves drawn to people and situations where there is a challenge. It’s the classic story of getting bored with the “nice guy” and dumping him for the class rebel. While these kinds of relationships may be exciting and intense, they can also become destructive, especially if the person with the stinger continually provokes the other partner.

Trait #4 – Overly-Sensitive (or Downright Paranoia)

The person who is overly sensitive to criticism writes the letters “l, d, h, or b” with wider than normal upper loops. This imagination in the realm of the intellect causes the person to believe there is criticism even when none is present. If the loop is exaggerated, then this person can be downright paranoid, imagining all kinds of things which may or may not be true.

The larger the loop, the more room for imagination to fill it.

Trait #5 – Anti-Social (Fear of Needing Others)

Just as a loop indicates imagination, the lack of a loop indicates lack of imagination. When we are young, we’re taught to write the letters “y, g, j, or z” with a lower loop. As we become adults, our handwriting changes from the textbook examples. This is a natural part of our development as our handwriting begins to respond to our mental processes.

When a person writes these lower loop letters with very wide loops, it indicates he has lots of imagination in the realm of physical relationships. This person is generally very gullible and too trusting of others.

When a person writes these letters with a small loop, or no loop at all, it indicates there is a distinct lack of trust. This person may like to be around others, but will be somewhat reserved when it comes to sharing his personal life. He may have a small circle of friends, or prefer to be a loner.

The smaller the loop, the less trust is felt towards others.

Major Train wreck: Dual Personality

While one or two of the previous traits might be unpleasant, they’re not generally, by themselves, a deal breaker. Someone with this particular trait, however, should be avoided at all costs if you value stability in your relationships.

The slant of our handwriting reveals our emotional response to life, circumstances and people. From time to time we all shift our slant in one direction or another, depending on what is going on at the moment. For instance, when I take notes, my writing is more vertical. When I’m writing to a friend it slants to the right.

However, when you see writing that changes within the same sentence – or even worse within the same word – this tells you the person is not emotionally stable. With emotional responses shifting all over the place, you will never know what to expect.

This trait, even by itself, is a red flag saying, “Stay Away!” When it’s found with any of the other traits on this list, it amplifies the dysfunctional part of that trait.

Save Yourself!

No one is perfect, and everyone has some faults. Most of us can deal with one or two of these traits in a partner, provided they’re not extreme. Understanding yourself and recognizing how these traits play out in a relationship will help you determine which ones you can live with. And becoming good at spotting these traits might just save you from your own train wreck.

Tips for Getting, and Keeping, That Super Geeky Girl

Chris — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 01:02:02 +0000

Tips for Getting, and Keeping, That Super Geeky Girl is a post from Chris Pirillo

This is Amber’s submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

You know you’ve seen her, fellas. She’s not a cheerleader, and she wasn’t the prom queen. Most likely, she’s the girl who carried a sci-fi novel in her backpack, right next to her GBA in high school. She probably spent prom night at a LAN party, rather than subjecting herself to dancing to top 40 songs and avoiding the eager hands of an excitable classmate. Today, you probably see her in a cubicle, partially hidden behind her Pokemon figurines and her demotivational posters. While rare, these girls are approachable – though you may need to change your game plan a bit.

Find out what she’s into, and strike up a conversation about it. Does she like video games? Is she into a certain sort of literature? Maybe she owns all the seasons of Star Trek and enjoys watching them in all-night marathons! This works even better if you find out what the two of you both like, and can have an in-depth conversation about it. Who knows, maybe it could even be first date material! A candlelight dinner followed by a Star Wars marathon? Score!
Just because she gets more frags than you do, doesn’t mean she’s not girly. Sure, we geeky females like to show how smart and independent we are, but little things aren’t lost on us. Compliments to our outfits and appearance are always nice! Oh, come on, girls. You know you love it when a guy calls you pretty! Flowers, cards, and small tokens are still welcomed. Provided that she isn’t a hardcore feminist, you should always open the door for a girl, and take her out on the town every so often. I’m not saying that you need to buy a geek girl’s affections, but it is nice to show that you recognize her for more than just her ability to kick ass at Halo. Homemade free gifts are always welcomed, too. You could always fashion a home made Valentine from old electronics, you know. Example: estranged-illusions.deviantart.com/art/Duck-Hunt-lamp-84479813 – w00t!
Don’t automatically assume you’re the first guy to ask us out. Sure, we’re geeky. While we may not be the first girl on every guy’s mind, you shouldn’t assume that we’re going to be an easy target – and don’t expect that we’re going to be grateful that you’ve come along to sweep us off our feet and into bed. Remember: we’re geeky by choice, and we were doing fine before you came along. You have to make sure we know that the two of us be doing even better now that you’re here. Do this by being affectionate, not by acting like you’re rescuing us from lonely Saturday nights.
Don’t feel like you need to constantly try to out-game us, and don’t assume that we need your help. It’s really annoying when you point out what we’re supposed to be doing in a game. Even if we’re not as good as you in certain things, there is a self-gratification that comes from beating a game all by ourselves. Trust me: if we need your help, we’ll ask. Well, maybe after we consult a walk-through, but only if we’re really stuck.
Try new things together. Just like any other relationship, this could get boring fast if all you two do is watch movies or play the same games together. Just because you two are geeky, that doesn’t mean that you can’t head out for a night on the town! Or maybe a picnic is more your style. After all, you could always bring your DSes and play after the potato salad has been put away. Sure, you can bowl a 300 on Wii Bowling, but maybe you two could have a friendly wager over who can knock down more pins in a real bowling alley. These are the sort of things that make relationships memorable – and lasting.

Point is, fellas: take a shine to what she’s into, don’t forget that she actually is – you know – a girl. Oh, and be prepared to argue over who gets to play the 360 every so often, as that is just inevitable.

And ladies, cut him some slack. Chances are, he’s trying pretty hard, you know.

Happy geeking!

How Well Did You Score on the Geek Test?

Chris — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 09:42:54 +0000

How Well Did You Score on the Geek Test? is a post from Chris Pirillo

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I bought Ponzi a book recently, called “A Girl’s Guide to Dating a Geek”. She’s been reading it, and decided we needed to take the Geek Test that’s inside it. Ponzi says that the book has some interesting philosophies in it. The beginning is a test that will help you determine if your man is a Geek or not. She insisted we do this quiz live.

Geeks are human, yes, but sometimes they seem like a different species. They have social interactions that don’t resemble anything else found in nature; they have language aspects and conventions that go against rational thought; and they many times have a unique body odor. Ok, ok. We have that unique body odor, too. For we are they and they are you and we are you and… we’re all geeks. And we need people to understand us so they can date us. This book helps.
It asks the reader “Are you dating a geek?” If so, find out just how geeky he is in “The Geek Test.” Learn how to cope with his geekiness in sections such as: “Getting What You Want” and “How to Exercise Your Geek.” Also, discover how to plot revenge, diagnose common geek ailments, and find the perfect gift for your geek. Take a deeper look into the world of geeks with “My Life Among the überGeeks” and “My Life Among the Gamers.” Read case studies, examine graphs, peruse the Geek Dictionary, and more in A Girl’s Guide to Dating a Geek.

Ponzi has decided I am a Spoiled Rotten Geek. According to people in my chat room who kept track, I received 55 points total on the test. According to the book, I’m a Micro-Geek. I can’t believe that’s all I got, and that I’m not at the top rung!! When Ponzi said to “scroll” to the right page in the book… instead of turning… I realized that at last… my work here is done.

Business Basics For Building (or Plannning) Your First Web Site.

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Got Any Good Geeky Relationship Advice?

Chris — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 09:56:21 +0000

Got Any Good Geeky Relationship Advice? is a post from Chris Pirillo

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I’m not an expert on anything, even though I may get introduced as such sometimes. I tend to dismiss that label every time. I got an email from TheMacinJosh. He has a good question that many of you may either identify with, or have some answers to.

I’m sure glad I went back to the chat room, and I’m sorry I missed out on it for so long! Anyway, my question is not tech related, but you usually always have good answers.
I’ve recently become single, and am wondering what the best way is to approach a girl I might find attractive. It’s difficult sometimes in situations where you aren’t exactly encountering them for any other reason. How might I start a conversation out of the blue, without it coming off as weird? The same thing goes for online. If I find someone on a social networking site that looks interesting, how do you think I should reach out to them without coming off as weird and awkward?

I’m somewhat successful with the whole relationship thing, I suppose, since I’m married. Marriage, for better or worse, is a relationship that will have good days… as well as not-so-good ones. Do I have advice for others? Of course I do. The first thing to remember is to not be overly eager. The more eager you are, the more it will make the other person shy away.

Confidence, as opposed to eagerness, is good. Don’t go overboard and become egotistical. But being confident about yourself, and comfortable within yourself, allows the other party to have confidence in you. You usually need to step outside of yourself, and that can be terrifying for some people. When you are faced with that situation, be confident in who you are. Know your strengths and weakenesses.

Think beyond the other person. You may be attracted to them, but ultimately it’s about finding common interests. Heck, it could be differences that bring you together to begin with. It’s finding things out about them over a course of time, and not just what they might post to their profile. At times, you can honestly get to know someone from the inside out better online than you can in “real life”. People tend to be a little more open about what’s inside of them when they aren’t so focused on how they come across with their appearance. Approach it in a casual fashion. Sit back, watch and share.

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Are You Dating a Geek (or are You the Geek)?

Chris — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 05:25:37 +0000

Are You Dating a Geek (or are You the Geek)? is a post from Chris Pirillo

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Are you dating a Geek? Find out just how Geeky he is in “The Geek Test“. You can learn how to deal with him (or her!) by reading this book, according to the jacket. The book is called A Girls’ Guide to Dating a Geek. I realize it’s too late since I’m married, but I thought it would be neat to buy this from ThinkGeek.

Geeks are human, yes, but sometimes they seem like a different species. They have social interactions that don’t resemble anything else found in nature; they have language aspects and conventions that go against rational thought; and they many times have a unique body odor. Ok, ok. We have that unique body odor, too. For we are they and they are you and we are you and… we’re all geeks. And we need people to understand us so they can date us. This book helps.
It asks the reader “Are you dating a geek?” If so, find out just how geeky he is in “The Geek Test.” Learn how to cope with his geekiness in sections such as: “Getting What You Want” and “How to Exercise Your Geek.” Also, discover how to plot revenge, diagnose common geek ailments, and find the perfect gift for your geek. Take a deeper look into the world of geeks with “My Life Among the überGeeks” and “My Life Among the Gamers.” Read case studies, examine graphs, peruse the Geek Dictionary, and more in A Girl’s Guide to Dating a Geek.

I bought the book as a sort of joke for Ponzi, but she’s actually reading it! Before she left on vacation, she had already read the first 43 pages. She said that most of what she had read were pretty much spot-on about me. If you are a Geek, and you’re in a relationship, this book is actually something you might want to read. Even if you’re a girl Geek dating a male non-Geek… it still can’t hurt. It’s going to be money well spent to help your relationship, and learning to understand each other. Geeks or not, communication and understanding don’t come easily.

If you have questions or advice about things like relationships, dating or Geeks… drop me a line. I am not a relationship expert, but you never know. I may have been there – done that. Or… I may have bought the book.

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Giving Relationship Advice

Chris — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 02:48:17 +0000

Giving Relationship Advice is a post from Chris Pirillo

I’m not a doctor, and I’m certainly no relationship counselor, but that didn’t stop “Freedman” for reaching out for a bit of help:

I’ve been watching your videos for about two months now. You go into all sorts of topics, not just technology. I love your videos and enjoy watching them. Your videos never have a bias opinion and always give me a welcomed feeling.
I’m writing to you at this hour because my girlfriend pulled a fast one on me. After three years of on and off dating, she tells me she doesn’t love me anymore. She has done this many times in the past, and we’ve gotten back together four times since 2004. She says that she can’t live life with out me in it. But then when we start dating time after time, she wants out of the relationship.
I’m fed up with the emotional roller coaster that I’ve been on. We came to two choices. Either stay in the relationship with the absence of her love. Or break up and sever all contact with each other.
Should I just leave it all behind and start over? Or should I keep trying? Deep down inside, I feel as if I keep trying, there will be a reward at the end; the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m just so overwhelmed with frustration.

Well, Freedman… no matter her age, it sounds as though she’s not mature enough to handle a relationship. She doesn’t know what she wants! “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”

You’re a fool for sticking with her, or thinking that time (magically) will make it all better. There are plenty of fish in the sea, dude – and it doesn’t matter what kind of guy you are. You’re better off spending your time and energy on someone else, or at least searching for someone else. I don’t care what kind of history you have with Little Miss Wishy-washy… make a clean break from her.

She doesn’t know if she loves you or not? That’s her problem, not yours. The bigger issue is that you’ve forgiven her countless times, and she’ll continue to abuse that privilege. Be careful with future girlfriends, too – because you’re likely to fall for the same kind of woman, and those relationships could turn out to be equally as abusive.

For whatever it’s worth, I’d say the same thing about this situation if the gender roles were reversed – because the shoe, quite often, is on the other foot.

Are Social Networks Destroying Offline Relationships?

Chris — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 07:03:43 +0000

Are Social Networks Destroying Offline Relationships? is a post from Chris Pirillo

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Is the Internet destroying relationships that are happening offline? Some people may say “yes! This is destroying my real relationships”. What do you mean… ‘real’? My relationships online are just as real as though offline. You get to know people’s personalities online. Heck, often you get to know the “REAL” person more online, than you do offline. When you’re talking online to someone, you tend to open yourself up more. You don’t feel the need to hide behind makeup and clothes. You can just let yourself be you.

I was doing “internet dating” before there even was such a thing. Heck, Ponzi and I met on an internet dating site. I don’t feel that the Internet has destroyed offline relationships. I feel it has allowed us to discover similarities with people that we may not have known before. It allows us to tear down barriers that would have been there in a ‘real life’ situation. I’m connecting with… and having a friendship or relationship… with people I would have never gotten to know otherwise. I have more in common with my online friends than I do with my next door neighbor. I appreciate my online friends for who they are, not for where they live or how they dress. Just because our connection happens digitally, so to speak, doesn’t make it any less real.

My friend Andy Stanberry is here in the office with me as I’m recording this video. We met… guess where? Online! He flew into Seattle today to help me with developing some cool new things that we’ll be bringing you more information on shortly. He actually Twittered when his plane landed in Seattle and that’s how Kat found out that he was here. Wait. Kat! She’s my rock, my right-hand girl. Kat and I have a ‘relationship’, in that we are friends who met online, and she works for me. She got recognized in “real life” the other day, just for her participation on the stream and on Ventrilo. She was shocked, and I think a bit embarassed. You will all be ‘meeting’ Kat shortly. She’ll be here at my house for the day on April 12th, during her Seattle trip! We’ve all convinced her she has to come and say hello on the stream.

So what are your thoughts about online/offline relationships? Let me hear from you!

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Dating Geeks

Chris — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:06:02 +0000

Dating Geeks is a post from Chris Pirillo

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MBonzo is a regular community contributor, who happens to be writing an eBook full of dating tips for Geeks. Here are his top five (or six!) tips.

Be presentable. What I mean by this, is that you’ll never be able to get the cute girl at the party if you smell like tuna sandwiches. Stay well-groomed and find a look that suits you well. Start buying some nice clothing from places other than the salvation army. Once you have started choosing what you are going to wear, pick out a cologne that you really enjoy, this gives yourself an identity and you will boost your self confidence.
Be Confident. It is easy to say “I am confident” but it is much different to actually be confident. Grooming yourself, working out, creating your own identity can boost your confidence in great ways. Personally…The way I came across confidence was from everyone saying that women like “a**holes.” Its not that girls like guys that steal little kids ice cream, its that they are looking for somebody that knows that they are attractive. I started jokingly boasting to my friends that I know how hot I am, I eventually developed a very cocky attitude that shows my confidence.
Be Sociable. When I say sociable, I mean that you have to be able to have a conversation about something other than the typical nerdiness. Read the news and know whats going on in the world. When I first began mastering dating, I typically liked to read digg and the onion everyday so that when I got into a conversation with a girl I could mention more than how nice the weather is. Try to talk about offbeat things, this will make you stand out.
Change your outlook. To start mastering dating you have to put all these tips together and create a new outlook. Be sure to view yourself from a third-person perspective to catch your mistakes. Also be aware that women are not different animals, boosting your self-esteem should bring you to the realization that you are in no way below any attractive woman.
Just get her number. You would be surprised how easy it is to just get someone’s number when you are confident. Even if you are slightly overweight or unattractive women will not rule you out as dating material, in that sense you are lucky to be a guy. If you feel the connection just tell her you would like to meet up with her another time and ask her for her number. PLEASE DO NOT USE PICKUP LINES!!!! Sorry for the all caps but if you are interested in dating this girl just stay away from the fallen angel bit.
BONUS TIP! Even if you consider yourself a good dater or you have a girlfriend or wife you should study body language. Go ahead and google body language to see the slight ticks that can show a girl that you are not confident being yourself. Communication is said to be 70% body language so a good goal in life is to master it. Eye-contact is probably the most important of all body language.

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Internet Dating Tips for Geeks

Chris — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 07:30:44 +0000

Internet Dating Tips for Geeks is a post from Chris Pirillo

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One of our community members emailed to ask me how he can find the woman of his dreams on MySpace. So… I decided to give you all my Top 5 tips for Internet dating.

Change your handle. If you have an online name that has to do with something Geeky, or a gamertag, it will be more difficult to attract women. Many people think that “birds of a feather flock together”, but that’s not always true. Meeting someone with a little in common can be just as good of a match. You definitely don’t want things to get boring. Having separate interests is a good thing, I promise you. If a girl is a “little” into computers, and sees your name has Linux in it, she may write you off without ever getting to know the real you.
Don’t talk Tech… unless she’s into that. If you’re trying to get to know a girl, don’t just spout off everything you know about computers. Find out what she’s into, what interests her. Make an effort to talk about those things, and to understand them. Who knows? You may end up finding new interests for yourself, as well.
Learn how to write. Being online is a whole new ball game. The first impression you give… and likely the only impression for awhile… is through your writing style. If you are using l33t speak, or even chat speak, you could turn off a very intelligent woman very quickly. How you write will convey the type of person you are. Take the time to check your grammar and spelling. Take the time to let who you are show through.
Don’t be a drooling Fanboi. If a woman is worth having, she’s already getting emails and IM’s telling her how wonderful and perfect she is. She may hear over and over she’s “beautiful” and “sweet”. Don’t trip over your own tongue. Be realistic. Women can see through nonsense compliments and drivel. They want something that is real, and solid.
Remember MySpace is NOT a dating service. It’s a social networking site. If you’re looking for love, that’s not the place to look. I recommend a free service called PlentyOfFish.com.

I met Ponzi online. Internet love really can happen, if you put some effort into it. It’s just as real, and just as lasting, as any other relationship.

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How to Handle Remote Tech Support

chris@lockergnome.com (Chris Pirillo) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:30:00 GMT

Using GoToAssist is the easiest way to view and control another person's computer online. Use it to provide instant technical support to family, friends and customers. Start a session with just one click, and instantly connect with the other party.

Network Tools for Windows

chris@lockergnome.com (Chris Pirillo) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:30:00 GMT

You need these network tools, no matter which operating systems and networks you have to support. SolarWinds ipMonitor: Affordable Network Monitoring for SMBs. Get turnkey network, server and application availability monitoring with SolarWinds ipMonitor v9.0. This easy-to-use, reliable solution for SMBs delivers out-of-the-box availability monitoring so you always know exactly what's up with Active Directory, DNS, Exchange, FTP, Web, IMAP, MS SQL Server, and SMTP. Download your free trial today. Or, try their totally free tools! And, through 2/29, save 20% when you purchase ipMonitor 9.0.

Get Your Own Web Site

chris@lockergnome.com (Chris Pirillo) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:30:00 GMT

Starting at just $3.99/month, web hosting from GoDaddy includes 99.9% uptime, 24/7 support and free access to GoDaddy Hosting Connection, THE place to install over 30 FREE applications sure to help you get the most from your hosting plan and Web site. Enter code CP2 at checkout, and save an additional 10% on any order.

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VMware and Parallels for Virtual Machines

chris@lockergnome.com (Chris Pirillo) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:30:00 GMT

It doesn't matter if you're running on Windows or Mac OS X - every power user needs either Parallels or VMware (or both). There's never been an easier way to test software without destroying your primary operating system's stability. Think of how many times you wish you could press a 'reverse' button on your computer. Plus, there's no easier way to try new Linux distributions - see what all the fuss is about. Run Windows in OS X, run Linux in Windows, but the best way to do either is with VMware and/or Parallels.

Coupons for Online Shopping

chris@lockergnome.com (Chris Pirillo) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 07:56:13 GMT

This feed is fueled by Lockergnome Online Shopping and Coupon Codes

Before you shop next time, see if we have a coupon first.