The ever-popular Ask a Ninja is finally finished with his Va-Kill-tion and ready to bring back his daily show. He states that his time off “was great, except for the part about accidentally killing the economy. My bad.” Fans already know the Ninja can punch through steel, slow his heart rate to appear dead, and has the stamina to fight for days and days and days. The new weekly lineup delivers all those standard stealth maneuvers plus a few new tricks.

Mondays will bring Death by Monday, where the Ninja showcases some of the best content around the web. Tuesdays will be Ask a Ninja day, where he answers questions from all of you. Wednesdays are The Vault days, with the Ninja showing off a new show format in the Ninjaverse or a classic episode. Thursday brings the Sketch Laboratory with experimental sketch comedy from the minds behind the Ask a Ninja brain trust. The week wraps on Friday with The Stare, the Ninja’s weekly roundup.

I don’t know about you, but I am more than ready to get my Ninja on.

• T-Mobile is to be the official Windows Phone 7 launch partner.
• What truths have you learned as an adult?
• Becoming an Emancipated minor is not something to be taken lightly.
• What good are rebels without applause?
• Cyber Bullies need to be rounded up and placed in a daycare facility to watch Barney all day long.
• What are your thoughts on VMWare?
• Do you lug around an iPad or notebook of some type everywhere you go?
• If you call Google a search engine, you are clearly missing the point.
• Everyone could use some penny-pinching cleaning alternatives.
• Can Ubuntu automatically detect your viewing angle?
• What type of media player do you use on your computer?
• Brazil is not the only country with energy independence on its mind.
• Are courts beginning to jail people to collect debts?
• Should subdivision residents have to fight to have security cameras installed?
• Do you still use the Command Prompt at all?
• This week is Fire Prevention Week.
• You will be able to tweet while watching Google TV!
• Is Google spying on you?
• What are good ways to reduce anxiety?
• How hard do you work for your money?
• You shouldn’t have posted that on Facebook!
• Log out. LOG out. Log OUT. I repeat – LOG OUT.
• What is your favorite style of gaming?
• iDress has software updates for your iPhone.
• Where is the Twitter CEO going, and who is taking his place?
• Are you ready to send in the clones?
• Are you a fan of Wikipedia?
• iPads are selling everywhere!

Our software center is full of Ninjas, Pirates and every other type of game you could possibly ask for!

Ask A Ninja is Back and Ready to Roll

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I realize I’m kind of ruining it for you, but I am the Ask-a-Ninja. You didn’t know that until now, of course. Not really… that would be someone else. The only way I’ve been able to embrace my inner Ninja is thanks to Kent and his crew from Ask A Ninja. You guys already know who I am. If you don’t, just Google the word Chris. I learned to be a Ninja courtesy of the new book The Ninja Handbook.

After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been. For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as:

1. How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan
2. The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin
3. Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet
4. Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab
5. How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy
6. Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks
7. How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage
8. What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode
9. Death Aide certification

Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.

This book will save your life, even though the front of it says “This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon”. It will save your life, and help you kill other things! Release your inner Ninja today.

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I Am Ninja. You Are Ninja. We Are Ninja Book.