My voice is going out, but I don't know why – or where it's headed. Perhaps it's going to kick the tall guy's ass. He sat directly in front of me at the Cirque du Soleil performance of Varekai. From what I could see, I was extremely impressed. Perhaps I should run away and join the cirque? It feels like the right thing to do. Wait, no… it's just gas. Oh crap – I just dropped cream cheese all over my pants. And no, that's not a euphemism for something else. Or maybe it is and I just don't know it? No, another lunch of ham and egg salad. There are so few restaurants over here. I know I should probably pack something like Gretchen does, but I'm not that motivated. Those Lunchables would be great, if only they were fit for human consumption. Or maybe they are and I just don't know it?

It's good to see that TechTVCaps is back online. I missed it. I've been thinking of starting a new forum for people to post 'em on our message boards. Pretty soon, CFH will be getting a Saturday Morning rerun – which is where I believe we belong. In the afternoon, I'm usually too busy to catch the daily re-airing. Then at home, it's on to other wild activities. And what's this I hear about my wife showing off her bazoombas at an upcoming party? I have no idea why that would be happening. Here I thought she got it all out of her (read: off of her) when she did the “artistic” thing in the Des Moines Playhouse production of Hair. Gretchen didn't shave her 'pits for three months to get into character. When she started to burn all the bras in our house, I had to draw the line. How else would I have been able to keep my man-teets warm in the winter? That's dedication, I tell ya. Or something else.