Wow. You'd think that the world had never seen a naked titty before? Everyone's up in arms over the nipple flashing we received on Super Bowl Sunday (courtesy of Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake). I'm just as disappointed as the rest of you. I ask, why didn't we get to see the other one?! Is her left breasticle so hideously deformed that it wasn't allowed to be shown in public? Despite efforts of the Puritan kind, people are having sex every minute of every hour of every day. Not the same people, mind you – but humans, nonetheless. As pre-pubescent, we dreamed of squeezing McGuffies 'til the cows came home. But now – oh the HORROR – we see one honker out of millions and there's something wrong with the moral fabric of society. It's just a friggin' hooter, folks. If you honestly weren't expecting anything weird to happen at a violent sporting event tipped to the gills with alcohol, you've got another mammary coming.