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Purple!

35 Responses (Add) | Saturday, February 15th, 2003 at 8:54pm

I just don't wanna [bleep] you more than I already have… although I would, mind you. Just that I know what it's like to get prepared for a [bleep], and I wanna… well, [bleep] you. Like, ya know, get in one quick [bleep] before you head out. But I won't because I know that'll really throw off your [bleep]. That, and I would refuse to [bleep]… and grab onto your ankles and be forcing you to [bleep] – and that would probably hurt a lot, especially on the cement. I would get carpet burns, too. And I'm just not into pain. Although, there's a certain threshold that borders pleasure – but I haven't found that yet – and I don't think it would come to me if you were [bleep]. So… I just won't [bleep] you because I don't wanna have any [bleep].

Now hickeys, on the other hand (and from the other mouth) are a different skin bruise altogether. They're fun to make. I once had one in the shape of Abraham Lincoln. I got it on That's Incredible, the old show with John Davidson. I made it myself with precision. It's a skill, I tell ya. You just can't go sucking random points in the skin with random pressures. You have to really know what you're doing. I kinda lost that ability over time, much like you forget how to do long division. Well, I never really forgot it. I just… don't like doing it. I figured “calculators” were the wave of the future. And someone would always have one of those cool little calculator watches on hand – so I'd ask them to do it for me. That's probably why I was never any good at math. That, and the number Seven used to make fun of me when I wore red shirts. To this day, I can't even type the digit without losing it completely. It's psychological.

Like the voices in my head. They're telling me what to do, but I seldom listen – because one of 'em uses sign language. I call him Loretta. He smells like bologna.

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35 Comments

Bid to Win Auctions

May 17th, 2007
at 12:19pm

and can be exported to mobile devices for use while on the go. Can I send you Pzizz to try out? Anybody out there (qualified) willing to test this for us? power napping Related Content:They Really Like MeIt’s a Good ThingAss Ass Ass Ass Ass AssPurple!Ya Know What?I Wanna Rock!Sing Along, Everybody!You Don’t Wanna KnowOur House is Leaking – AgainBreaking The Cycle [IMG]

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 1:06pm

You on crack Chris? Or just lack of coffee. :)

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 1:07pm

bologna??? aw babee you have some issues huh?
*mwah*

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 1:12pm

To quote to wisdom of Hank Hill “that boy ain't right” :-)

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 1:19pm

It'll be ok, Chris. Just drink your coffee… :)

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 2:00pm

SIR, Step away from the crack slowly.

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 2:06pm

And you seem so normal on tv.

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 2:15pm

Friends don't let friends write blog entries stoned.

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 2:23pm

I think someone messed up you meds

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 2:33pm

I'm thinking Chris has been nibbling on some of the “pie” that has recently been on Gretchen's writin's.
You know, neither one has been the same since.
Darkstar
http://www.darkstar.us

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 2:53pm

Dude, you must be aiming to do a web version of “The Pirillos”. Your bleeps are about as frequent as Ozzy's.
That would be a worthy web movie. “The Pirillos”.
Shuffle around the place as if you are in a daze and [bleep] at everything in sight.

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 5:06pm

Oy! I need to buy stock in Peet's. You'd make me a millionaire.

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 7:00pm

Ummm… are you feeling all right?

Anonymous

February 15th, 2003
at 7:49pm

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