I did something stupid the other day – go figure. Ponzi let me know that she wasn’t too pleased with one particular decision of mine, which I contend was completely related to being a man (in general). She told me that I should know better. I told her that I don’t know any better, because this is jus… “Yes, dear.”

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Why are men never depressed?

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Wedding plans take care of themselves. We can never be pregnant. We can wear white t-shirts to a water park. The world is our urinal. The same hairstyle lasts for years – maybe decades! Wrinkles add character. People never stare at our chests when they’re talking to us. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected (not according to Ponz). We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. If someone forgets to invite us, s/he can still be our friend. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

So, maybe we should think about buying more flowers for our women – unless they’re the wrong kind of flowers, and you were promptly accused of having confused her with some other woman (when, in fact, you distinctly remember her liking the wildflowers that you got her one time) and the… “Yes, dear.”