That One Guy

Thanks to Bob Laurence, I think I may have eliminated this page's dependence on tables altogether. This is important, as I'll be sharing my blog on international television tomorrow. Someone's asking “what it is” – and I'm aimin' to tell him. It's like I told another blogger-wannabe this afternoon: your personal and professional life will flourish if you do one. We were sipping soda water at a local cafe, pondering when the industry would crawl out of its slump. As we were talking, another dude walked into the place and said to me: “Aren't you the guy who broke that one old record player thingy?” Kinda. “One of our IT guys just sent the video to everyone at Sega; we've been laughing about it all day.” That clip has apparently gone viral. Great. I'm always going to be known as “that one guy,” completely replacing the world's memory of “that other guy.”

Super Mario Bros

David Weinberger is one of my favorite geeks. I met him in 1999 at Spring Internet World along with my friend, Richard Brodie. He's a lot like the Doc, and somewhat like the Boy. The other day, David sent me a link to one of his recent blog entries. Sadly, that's the only way I would have known about it; there's not enough time in the day to read everything. It's all about Dan Bricklin's Proposal. Now, I don't know Dan – and I don't believe we've ever been formally introduced – but he's got a killer idea up his sleeve. The “Small and Medium-sized Business meta” is set to be the next must-have XML document. Think of it as a way to keep the world up-to-date with your contact information without intervention. RSS took a few years to catch on, but his SMBmeta, if done properly, should be a great success. I'll do it, provided the specs stay truly simple.

This is the way address books should be, quite honestly. You should be able to subscribe to someone's vCard (much like you can subscribe to an iCal). I can't tell you how many Christmas Cards were returned to us this year.

Extreme Close-up

We went across town yesterday for Lori – she's looking for a dress to wear at an upcoming Governor's ball. My Uncle Brad (in-law) and aunt Angela (in-law, twice removed) gave both Gretchen and me a gift certificate to Macy's. Now, I'm not a clothes-shopping kind of guy. Never have been, never will be. Jake and I wandered all around the store, looking for something that I could actually use. The Meade Digital Camera Binocular caught our attention. The price was set with a 25% discount, so I yanked the unit off the shelf without batting an eyelash. We brought it home and immediately fell in love with it. I hooked that sucker up to my laptop, installed the drivers, mounted it as a Webcam, inserted my wireless card, walked the equipment to our front window, set the new device on the sill, opened Webcam32, then ran down the block with Jake. That's me on the corner. That's me by the street… light – losing my religion. Have you seen it? We encoded that series of snaps with Boomer. My neigh-bores aren't that exciting, so we'll have to find something else to capture. Any ideas? This thing doesn't do well in low-light conditions.

There Goes My Bus!

The first meeting of the Scobleites took place tonight, and it was a virtual Who's Who:

Tara Sue Grubb
Evan Williams
Jake Ludington
Lori Lockwood
James Hong
Gil Friend
Mark Canter
Dave Winer
Robert Scoble
Tantek Celik
Hoopty!
Cheyenne Burnsworth
Christian Crumlish
Pat Delaney
Raines Cohen
Jake Savin
Al Nevarez
Simon Fell

Of course, Gretchen and I were there, too. I'm probably missing a couple of folks, and no doubt they'll let me know. Half of 'em went to the Hustler club, the other half went home, and the… other half are at our house wearing down my Xbox (as well as the WiFi network). Most memorable moment? The conversation.

Fish Heads, Fish Heads

Gretchen made her world-famous cod for a group of us – Jake, Lori, Chey, Hoopty, and myself. I finally found out what “CFP” means – and no, I'm not going to tell you what it is. Guess! Levis! Osh Kosh! Jordache! Lee! It has nothing to do with pants. Seriously – absolutely nothing. We've been reliving Gnomedex 2002; seems that everybody had a great time. And yes, we've talked about what we want to do for 2003. It'll be different, but different (in this case) is good. It's not going to happen tomorrow, though. Tomorrow, G says that we're going out with Robert, Dave, and a handful of other popular folks. We're headed to Barney's, since the Squat & Gobble kicked my wife out for lewd behavior.

No Limo For You!

I had to take another rain cheque on the limo ride; seems that someone at Sony was laid off, and someone else had to do something about it. What does that mean? I have no idea. But I do know that I was just greeted with an e-mail from Renata Aquino: “I'm from a Brazilian technology news agency and I'm doing an article about fonts and I quote your blog design. Would it be OK to add a partial screenshot of your blog to the article?” Heh. Cool. I was considering removing the embedded FOT, but not if it's going to catch people's attention. I've converted a few signatures for folks, and my offer still stands.

I Heart Staycations

Online Tonight had a great party last night. Everybody was invited, but only 4,012 people came. We rubbed shoulders with Mikeintosh and GeekyChick, as well as the three dudes from MacSlash. We laughed, we drank, we drove all over hell and half of San Francisco. Can you spot any other bloggers in the crowd? Can you point out the guy from Google? He's there, I assure you. Jake even won one of his prize packages, courtesy of David and Lili. This morning, I met the first tech evangelist and a few other TechTV fans. I'm at home now, drying off before my big evening meeting. Someone's picking me up in a limo for it – so I think I better shave. And wear a belt.

Fontaholics

Fonts are fun. You can make 'em, too – if you use the right software. Your
Handwriting 2.0 is cheap, and the results prove it: crude, and
barely usable. I recommend using ScanFont from FontLab.com. If you want it to
look even better on more than one platform, get their full-
featured product. I don't have the time or patience to fontify
everybody's complete manuscript, and I'm sure you don't have $200+
lying around to spend on software you may use only once or twice.
Here's my proposal: I could put your signature, SIMPLE logo, or
something of the like into TrueType AND OpenType fonts. Heck, I
could even do dingbats (pictures) on a case-by-case basis. If it's
a complicated graphic, assume I can't do it. What I first need is clean,
clear, high-quality, pure black & white scans of the
glyphs you want to immortalize. Ten dollars ($10) doesn't sound too unreasonable at this
point (for your signature or a single logo). You could do it yourself
– but will you? Well, I thought I'd offer. If you're
interested, send the graphic(s) to the e-mail alias: font @ lockergnome.com.
Then, after I tell you that I can do what you want me to do, use
the same 'font' e-mail address at PayPal.com to complete the
transaction. Other arrangements can be made.

We’re Not Worthy

I'm not a “reality show” kind of guy (even though there will always be a place in my heart for the first few episodes of American Idol – when the talentless twits are still in the running). Joe Millionaire. Jake and I agree: this is either going to be really good or really stupid. I know that women say that money isn't important, but I've been married for the better part of three four years and let me tell you – it's important. It's very important. If you don't have money, you don't eat. Having millions of dollars on hand would be great, but billions of us are going to live well below that line.

When Gretchen and I met, I was already knee-deep in student loans and well on my way to becoming a high school teacher. Fate intervened, and I'm now a business owner, magazine columnist, and television show host. Had I attained such titles before the initiation of our relationship, I might never have trusted her true intentions. I do, implicitly (for what it's worth). Would she have given me a second look? Would have you? It's a question with which I never care to wrestle. When I walk into a computer superstore, they don't know who I am or what I do – and I don't mind. When you peel away all the layers, I'm just a geek with a bad sense of humor.

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