Mobile Geek

As of 1:51PM this afternoon, I became the proud father of a Nokia 3650. With polyphonic ringtones, Bluetooth, and a built-in camera, I'll always be ready for the road. Beaming pictures to my Tungsten C is a breeze (via infrared), but Jake went on a wild goose chase for a script to enable me to immediately post wacky snaps to an MT blog via e-mail. We'll see what turns up. So far, I like what I see. I'll have to dive into the manual sooner or later to find out how to transfer MIDI and change my “start screen” graphic. Tomorrow, I may even pick up a few Bluetooth devices just to see what THAT world is like. Here's a thought: would you pay me a $1 a month to be on a private distribution list that gets nothing but pictures from my daily misadventures? Who knows WHO or what I'll run into.

I Hate Oreos

What would I do if California banned Oreos? I'd do the happy dance, which goes a little something like this: *tappa tappa tappa* Buck the trend: toss your cookies tonight. Anything with fake fat is to be avoided at all costs, on all levels. I don't care how good you think trans-fat-filled “food” tastes – the rest of your body doesn't like it. And don't be fooled by the “partially” part, either – it's full evil. Ask my close friends: I'm a pain in the ass when we visit restaurants, careful not to order anything that might be remotely hydrogenated. My life changed the very day I learned about that crap. In the coming years, expect to hear more about it. Parents: WAKE UP.

Every One is Sacred

I received a rather troubling message from a random reader this morning. He claims that people who use laptops for extended periods of time tend to have lower-than-average sperm counts. Since I use notebook computers often, I thought it was prudent to take inventory. Now, I'm not sure what a good number is, but I think 23 is decent. I kept losing count (since my prescription is not as strong as it should be). The total may actually be closer to 22, as I believe I counted one of them twice. None of 'em even looked like me, so genetic mutations may be another side effect from using hot technology on your lap. If I switched to using PDAs more often, my army would probably increase. I'm right handed.

Gnomedex Blogroll

The Gnomedex blogroll is up! I've thrown it into my sidebar, and as you can see, there are more than five people coming to Des Moines this summer. So, if you'd like some extra promotion for your blog, go ahead and let me know the e-mail address you used to pre-register for our event and I'll send you the top secret password. And if you haven't already committed, what are you waiting for? There's no guarantee that today's $99 price will be good at the door. Most likely, it'll cost you more if you wait until the last minute. That's just the way these things work.

The Brad is Back

Remember HomeSite? Nick Bradbury leaped onto the software scene with his fantastic HTML editor several years ago (which Macromedia eventually swallowed). I expected nothing less than perfection with TopStyle, his CSS editor for both style sheet newbies and fanatics. It's what I recommended to Robert when he wanted to dive head-first into the world of legacy-free happiness. Nick even went as far as to put an option in the View menu that'll take users directly to the TopStyle blog. Here's a programmer who really “gets it.” Need further proof? He's aiming to release FeedDemon, what appears to be the ultimate news aggregator for the Windows platform. Check out the screen shots and you'll see what I mean. Integration with Feedster, Technorati-style link discovery, and (most importantly) a somewhat-uncluttered UI. Expect a beta download by the end of May, but until then, I suggest flooding his news server with feature requests for what you want to see in a desktop client.

Wookin’ Pa Nub

If you're single and you're horny, clap your hands. If you're married and you're swinging, clap your hands. If your heart is overflowin' with the joy of people knowin' – find the person you're adorin' with your hands. Specifically, your clicking finger – because we just launched the Lockergnome Personals Network a few minutes ago. Gretchen's been keeping me happy. I've been instructed that it's okay to touch as long as I don't look. So, look for me and tell me what you find? Me promise to love you long time.


In all my years online, I've never had a site of mine Slashdotted. Never. Today, that all changed. Someone named HackerStickers was nice enough to give Gnomedex 3.0 a juicy plug this morning. We braced our servers for a flood of traffic and barely got a trickle. “THIS is what everybody has been raving about for all these years?!” I could drive more traffic with Lockergnome – and I have. Feh.

Be My Pal

After much sweat and hard work, we finally have a PayPal shop for our tutorials (Technology Help / How-to Guides). This is just in time for the Developer Conference, taking place this Thursday and Friday in downtown San Francisco. If you're going to be there, be sure to let us know. By then, we also hope to have launched another new service specifically for Internet entrepreneurs. Told ya: we've been busy.


If I ever see or hear Rita Rudner again, I'll scream. Her personality was all over the Strip; no matter where I turned, she was there – either giving me a canned promotion or showing off her flexibility. Even on the plane ride home, United thought it would be prudent to air one of her earlier stand-up performances. I threw my inedible snack mix at the video screen and was forced to travel in the baggage compartment for the remainder of the trip. Jake picked me up when I got back to SF, thinking he would impress me with his latest compact disc aquisition. Yep… you guessed it. Rita Rudner's Greatest Hits – all none of 'em. Perhaps if she had a blog, I'd be a little more conciliatory. As it stands, I think Colin Quinn's show is much better than hers.

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