The Blogger’s Dictionary (Volume I)

Apphole – attorney who sends cease and desist letters to tech rumor blogs.
Blahg – digital diary that nobody but the author cares about.
Boingy – totally geeky.
Decantered – having your entire entry lifted and posted to another's blog.
Googlephant – person who only uses one search engine for everything.
Gnome-Girl – yo g dawg it is write in fornt of your face.
Menannite – an individual who has a crush on female CSS masters.
Moblog – online journal about the chief Stooge.
Overjoid – getting really excited to have lunch with somebody important.
Perkinsons – disease with a payload of clueless behavior that's always on-line.
RSS – Really Something Silly.
SCOBOL – programming language that only works with Microsoft operating systems.
Technoratee – information whore.
Weinburger – a link sandwich.
Winerd – power user who has the ability to piss off the entire Internet in three sentences or less.

Oxford Rocks

bitch-slap – deliver a stinging blow to (someone), typically in order to humiliate them: “I would have bitch-slapped him for talking that way.” blamestorming – discussion regarding the assigning of responsibility for a failure or mistake. blonde moment – an instance of being silly or scatterbrained. bootylicious – sexually attractive. brochureware – web sites or web pages produced by converting a company's printed marketing or advertising material into an Internet format, typically providing little or no opportunity for interactive contact with prospective customers. And you can read the entire list here (PDF).

Phone Home

I have no dial tone on my regular phone line, but the DSL connection still works. Perhaps it's time I stop lurking in Broadband Reports and sign up for an account already? I can't find a better online resource for ISP quandaries. I've been working with CableNut to get my MTU / RWIN / etc. in line; these settings can be tricky. Since my wireless router is still up north, I picked up a BEFSX41 yesterday. I'll optimize this connection sooner or later. Time for coffee.

I Hate SBC Yahoo Already

If you were thinking about getting DSL through SBC Yahoo, don't – they're morons over there. Seriously, avoid them like the plague. Even though I paid for an account to be set up on Saturday, August 9th, 2003 at 3:44 PM CDT, opted for a self-installation, and received the modem 15 minutes ago, they're not going to “flip the switch” until Thursday, August 28th, 2003. Excuse me?! That's beyond asinine, and believe YOU me – I'm fighting that date every step of the way. Some would say: “Why not go with a cable modem?” Call it a lack of confidence in that network infrastructure. Not to say that PacBell is any better, but at least I'm in better control of my bandwidth.

Get on the ball, people. You're about THIS close to losing more than one customer to the competition. Or was that your plan all along? To make this process as ludicrous as inhumanly possible? I'm not going to install your friggin' software. I'm not going to have a sub-standard technician drive out to my house for the cost of $200 just to plug in a few numbers. I'm not going to put up with this kind of shit for another 365 days AND PAY FOR IT. I'm sure nobody important is going to see this note, but if they do – understand you've already made it a mission to steer as many people away from you as I can. You screwed up, royally. There's your bed – sleep in it.

RSS is Bigger Than Jesus

In between dodging dozens of these damned Sobig bounces every other minute, both Scott and I have announced that we're working on a tutorial for RSS. It's just “too damn confusing” for the average person to welcome onto their desktop, so we're aiming to demystify the funkadelic Malkovich flavor of super simple syndication. I know that Nick is already refining a better feature set for FeedDemon 2.0, and I'm hoping that Greg will start listening to my incessant feedback for improving NewsGator (my current choice for a news aggregator). When all is said and done, we want to make this stuff easier for Joe and Judy Consumer to understand.

Aye, Matey!

For the first time in what seems like eight years, I'm going to see a movie. 'Pirates of the Carribean' will have my full attention this evening. Myszka and I are flailing down two blocks to the new AMC megaplex. That oughta be an adventure worthy of getting scurvy seventeen times over. He'll get a bucket of popcorn. And that's not butter.

Black Hole Sun

I didn't think I'd have access to broadband for another two weeks, but (as luck would have it) I'm close enough to someone with an open Wi-Fi signal to use it with my laptop and/or desktop machine. I have their essid in hand, but that really does me no good. I'd just as soon meet IRL and pay them for enabling me to piggyback their signal. Instead of chancing it now, I'll wait until I'm set up on my own connection before making any introductions or writing any cheques. Oh, and my cell phone has absolutely no signal here. Bupkis.

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