I found it! I found it! I found it!
One of the things I dislike (very much) about my Nikon Coolpix camera is that it only records video in “MOV” format instead of a much more neutral AVI. Sorry, but Quicktime on Windows is a total desktop kludge. This morning, as I was flipping through my favorite feeds, I discovered MP4Cam2AVI:

MP4Cam2AVI is a .MP4|.MOV to .AVI convert & join tool for digital MPEG-4 camcorders, such as Sanyo Xacti C1/C4, Pentax Optio MX/MX4, Sony DSC-M1, Olympus C770 Movie, Samsung V40/50/70 etc. Also it supports MJPEG .MOV files from digital photo cameras.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you, graywolf2004! It works like a charm! I can't use enough exclamation marks! I'm getting way too excited over this! Open source wins again!