O Canada

We're headed to Vancouver today… figured I'd share some Canadian quotes to celebrate the occasion. It's my first time to this part of the country. I've been to Canada before, but that was as a child – and we really didn't see anything while we were there (which apparently happens often).
If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. ~ Margaret Atwood
The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, “Could I get you your check?” and we answered, “How about the menu first?” ~ Erma Bombeck
I think teenagers in the States grow up too fast. In Canada, kids are exposed to different things. Like school is very different; it's not nearly as social. Canadian teenagers see it as a much more serious place. ~ Neve Campbell
Canada will be a strong country when Canadians of all provinces feel at home in all parts of the country, and when they feel that all Canada belongs to them. ~ Pierre Elliott Trudeau
The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. ~ Conan O'Brien
I don't even know what street Canada is on. ~ Al Capone
It is as queen of Canada that I am here. Queen of Canada and all Canadians, not just one or two ancestral strains. ~ Elizabeth II
What I've always said is – and I defended Bill Clinton's position, and I would defend the president's choice with respect to going into the Guard. I've never made any judgments about any choice somebody made about avoiding the draft, about going to Canada, going to jail, being a conscientious objector, going into the National Guard. ~ John F. Kerry
In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. ~ Irving Layton
Canada sucks. ~ Peter Griffin
Now, now, the Canadian Government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions! ~ Canadian Film Minister
Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour – we're more like celery as a flavour. ~ Mike Myers
President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards. ~ Conan O'Brien
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. ~ Prince Philip
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. ~ Jon Stewart
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, “Well, what do you need?” ~ Steven Wright

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