No Burritos Were Harmed

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They say that you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. But can you make a burrito without snuffing out a precious, tortilla-wrapped life? We don’t aim to find out, because we’re trying to be more conscientious about our burrito devouring habits, and that’s why we’re only going to eat fake burritos from here on out.

No burritos — not real ones, anyway — were harmed in the making of this meal. They’re props. Like rubber duckies, wax fruit, and LEGO brick representations of Diana and me. Have you ever heard the death rattle of a suffering burrito being put out of its misery? It ain’t pretty. Now that we’re making humane choices surrounding our burrito consumption, we can go to sleep at night knowing that the burrito cruelty ends here!

Now pass the hot sauce. I’m gonna snack on some moderately bogus carnage! Hmmm… are we sure these aren’t real?