Look at these results for my full name:

Consumer Testimonials: Chris Pirillo writes “I love the remote control I bought for my remote control!”

Chris Pirillo writes “I can never find my remote control! But now with this new remote control I bought for my remote control, I can change the channels from any part of my room. Never again will I have to get up and try to find my remote control!”

• www.exotechremotes.com/testimonials/customer3.htm

“I guess my cell-phone/microwave was an accident waiting to happen” says rueful gadget lover Chris Pirillo

“…which is why Pirillo's brain now looks like this,” the neurosurgeon said, pointing to the picture of three-day old oatmeal…

• www.cellularcookery.net/therightstuff

Hyperactive guru Chris Pirillo says, “Fidgeting: it's not just for limbs anymore!”

We've all been places where pacing, coin-flipping, or even finger-drumming is discouraged. Church, for instance. When I'm at a church service with energy to burn, I wiggle my ears! Unlike some “stealth fidgets,” suck as clenching alternate butt cheeks, an ear-wiggler is the last person you'd accuse of being…

• www.hyperactivenewsweekly.com/issue730485734/838.htm

Order Confirmation for Chris Pirillo from Bouncing-Off-The-Walls.com

Item 33498 “extra-thick cotton batting wallpaper (French Provincial)” is on its way! Soon your home will accommodate your hyperactive tendencies in plush comfort!

• www.bouncing-off-the-walls.com

Chris Pirillo collapses in computer store, breaks out in hives when told he'll need a system update

…”All I said was that he needed new drivers, and his face turned red, he had trouble breathing, and then he just collapsed!” said the computer clerk. “Luckily, he's been here before, so we had a syringe of adrenaline handy…

• www.metrodailytimes.com/article98372

Ask Chris Pirillo: How do I know if my new electronic toaster is conspiring against me?

Chris Pirillo answers: WATCH THE OTHER APPLIANCES. Microwaves are natural ringleaders; monitor any suspicious blink patterns. Better yet, ditch them all. What's wrong with doing your toast over a wood burning stove? Dropping a cinderblock on your universal remote is the first step toward freedom!

• www.smallappliancessuck.com/askChrisPirillo

Pirillo Leaves Town; Housing Prices and tourism skyrocket

“There was a fresh quality to the air from the moment we got the judge to declare Pirillo a “public nuisance” and run him out of town,” said Mayor Chad Gracia. “Within a week, we saw more birds and brighter flowers. Then the tourists and jobs started to come back. Property values shot up, violent crime went down. I've never seen anything like it!”

• www.dailysuntribune.com/news/articleID=83983.html

Pirillo found guilty of plagiarizing material to put in own diary

The victim of the plagiary scandal described the whole thing as “Pathetic. From what I hear about Chris, he is simply terrified to admit what everyone already knows: that his life just isn't interesting enough to bother writing down, even in a diary.”

• www.internet-dailynews.com/webjournals/issue9/article982.htm

Unreal.