“Dear Chris – Is it tacky to send my girlfriend and e-card for her birthday?”

This action is only tacky when your e-card has a MIDI file playing in the background. That's just wrong. I would actually encourage you to move your love life entirely online. Physical sensations are so twentieth century! Instead of talking to her, you could post something about your relationship on your blog. Instead of bringing her flowers, you could make up cute little ASCII roses and attach them to your signature, like so: —,—`-{@ If she leaves you, it wasn't meant to be. But I know plenty of fourth-level Valkryies on a MUD in Sweden who would kill for a man like you.