From the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS Web site: I've had enough of this free web crap. When I was a kid, the only thing we got for free was a beating. So I want all you deadbeats to start buying the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS this week and I MEAN NOW! Get in your broken down jalopy or on your stolen schwinn and get to a retailer that sells this truth laden periodical and shell out some cabbage. Stealing won't help, as we need to get sales recorded for statistical purposes.

Sounds almost like a hack, but if it's true – that's gotta be the most creative way I've ever seen a resource go from free to fee. When it's my turn, I only hope that I can be just as effective. Assuming, of course, that this is an effective approach. It's all about getting results, baby. And I gotta have my three-legged skater magazine.