Just Beneath the Surface

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“In the static space of the architect, he might’ve used a double integral now and then, early in his career, to find volumes under surfaces whose equations are known — masses, moments, centers of gravity. But it has been years since he’s had to do with anything that basic…” — Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow, 1973

I know that I generally try to keep this vlog tech-free (that’s what the TLDRs are for). But today, my friends, I’m going to fail you.

People told me it would be an impossible mission (one from which I might never return)! I’d stood in long lines before, and that was no object — or, at least, it was an object that caused me great laughter. I’d endure, prevail, and laugh even more upon success!

They told me that I’d never be able to purchase a Microsoft Surface Pro on release day. Never, unless I bribed, borrowed, stymied, or stole from Microsoft directly — or enforced one of the above, unspeakable acts upon a lottery winner with open pockets and an enviable (and naive) faith in humanity.

As it turns out, I walked right into the local Microsoft Store and, with my best Han Solo sabacc face, declared that I’d like “the most expensive Microsoft Surface Pro in stock.” After the tiniest hint of a chuckle, the employee at the counter looked both ways and handed me a nondescript paper bag from under the counter.

“Act natural,” she said, “the malls have eyes.”

After finishing the secret handshake and completing the clandestine transaction, I was able to make away with my precious bounty for an unboxing and — after a good hour of familiarizing myself with it — a review of the Microsoft Surface Pro.

I hope you’ll forgive me for bringing tech into the vlog. Diana has extended such forgiveness from her heart, and I fear her wrath more than anyone’s. Won’t you?