It's So True
“I am everything. I created newsletters. I made them work. Want some of my spammy newsletters? Former TechTV star. I am cool. The size of my ego wouldn't even fit in Texas. Doncha wish you lived my life? In the Age of Spam, my answer to everything is email newsletters, yes, links to shareware, freeware, thisware, that ware, along with smart comments quips from Super Geek, why I mean me, of course. It is all about branding and my chaotic hyperkinetic personality. Join my Brain Trust and I can tell you how *I* did it, yes, yoooou tooo, can cassssshhhh in on all the Internet Riches out there just waitttting to be found, for onnnnnlllllllyyyyy $97 a month. But waiiiiit thereeeereee's moooree, we'll throw in a cool piece of Pocket PC software that I got from my Microsoft buddies. They like me. I like me. I use a Palm now however. But I am Super Geek. And there was no Bubble. No no no. That's a lie! This shareware product here is cool, that shareware there is too, this freeware thing here rocks me. Hey, I want freebies. I won't review or promo your product unless you give it to me. I am a Marketing Tidal Wave. Doncha know that? You just don't get it, do yah? I am here now, Your Super Geek at work. Come to my Conference. Link Link. Link to this this cool computer magazine I am in, you can subscribe too, pretty please. Link to Gretchen. Amusing private story about Gretchen. I am the real Geek. Supreme Geek of All. Come to my conference. Its everything. All the other Bloggers know this. I am El Geeko Numbero Uno, there is no other. Wanta know my tricks? You too can be a geek like me, just open your wallet, and send all to me. Multi-Level-Geek-Marketing, its a whole new world! I am a Geek, repeat I am a Geek. But Linux sucks. Geek. Geek. My face as branding, only I know how to market, I am the new Marketing Force, check out these sexy hot chic pictures, my wife cuts cabbage to relieve stress, we got a video of it. Want to pay me lots of money for creative weird advertising things I dream up after too much computer monitor radiation? Advertise on my coffee mug. Advertise on my t-shirt. Advertise on my laptop, send your company logo stickers. Want to pay me some money for my photobloglog? You never know who I will run into. Multi-Level-Geek-Social-Software-Spammy-Newsletter Marketing, its a whole new world! Link to Gretchen. Amusing private story about Gretchen. I am the future of Marketing, everyone else just doesn't get it. Only I do.”
21 Comments
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 1:21pm
those parodies are dead on… kudos to you for being able to laugh at yourself :)
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 1:26pm
Chris-whatever your point was that was the most confusing thing I think I have ever read in my life.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 1:30pm
We who read your work know the beauty of that parody. Of course, just as there are people who really believe Landover Baptist is real, you KNOW you'll be quoted outta context.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 1:32pm
you are such a dork :P
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 1:58pm
Why?
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 2:02pm
Then you haven't read much Randy!
I LOVE the “Amusing Private Story about Gretchen”!
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 2:05pm
I wonder what list I'd be on. Maybe the S list?
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 2:15pm
Looks like someones head is a little bigger than their chair and I dont mean Gretchen. ;) Oh yeah? Can you do drink a half gallon of half and half and not have to go to the bathroom that same day? can you? can you? Happy No pants friday!
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 2:23pm
I'm with you, Jason. I'm the freakin' Princess and I don't even get a nod… Sheesh.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 2:44pm
Great read Chris. I could follow what your were saying and that parody was great.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 2:45pm
I just shine the Princess' tiara.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 3:04pm
are you ok?? ;D
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 3:35pm
If only you did that Gretchin Parody in Gimp :-D http://www.ubergeek.tv/switchlinux/
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 3:36pm
I agree. The parody was great.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 4:00pm
Um, it doesn't sound like many of you realize that Chris is parodying the “parody” (I use this term very loosely) that someone wrote about him? Note the very first link in the entry…
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 4:01pm
You should do what everyone else does. Sue for slander! ThatÂ’s right, get cash out of it. You never know how much money those guys at sitting on! Go for it!
I kid.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 5:29pm
Chris you are by far the geekiest geek I know… but more important, you are a freak.. and that is a very good thing.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 6:44pm
LMAO off at the parody… that was really cute. almost peed my pants.
Anonymous
June 13th, 2003
at 8:57pm
After i read why Chris wrote this i was kinda upset that someone would write bad things about people. I understand where Gretchen was coming from now. It seems that at the link http://radio.weblogs.com/0001011/blogparody.htm you can scroll down and find Chris's name and see why he wrote this for.
Man, I am sorry I thought it was a fun post you were writing. I would be really hurt to know someone did this even to me.
Anonymous
June 15th, 2003
at 4:11am
Yikes. It's a *parody* folks.
I would hope that Chris would take that parody with a smile and a “hey, those fuckers!” smile (I assumed he did from this blog entry of his, and Chris' linkage within, but then I read Gretchen's comments over on Scoble's site, so I dunno if he did).
The fact is, Chris is in the public eye in many ways, and is subject to parody, and IMO, should be honoured as all hell out anytime it's done, no matter how “brutal” it may seem. Maybe I'm old, but I still remember catching the last vestiges of Dean Martin's Celebrity Roasts on reruns on late night TV in the mid 1980s, and they were far more brutal (and personal) than what was written in that parody, but those guys had the ability to laugh along with it.
I would hope that Chris laughed along with this parody, and took it for what it was - a charicature of one anonymous person's over-extended impressions of several webloggers.
And to be brutally frank, some of the guys parodied (not necessarily Chris) needed the ***** slapping that piece dished out :)
Anyway, my 0.02 from the peanut gallery.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2003
at 9:33am
wish you warn't a “”"”"former”"”"” tech tv star : (