…is this spam, or just a FREAK?!

I don't know what the point of this email message was, but… it was just too damn creative to throw away without sharing first:

chris:

You are nearly naked and completely unarmed. No one told you the
Minotaur was a living beast! You thought there would be a trophy
chamber, and you just grab some horns and go! As you watch the huge
shadow move, you feel certain that you will now die, and you are angry!
Why didn't anybody warn you, prepare you? You think, I could simply
turn back, escape, and live to warn others! But then you think of the
dozens of women you know of who emerged safe from this cave, horns in
hand, who then were richly celebrated and covered with glory. Still
angry, and also curious, you burst into the chamber of light.

You see immediately that the Minotaur is nothing but a man wearing an
elaborate mask, and you marvel because the chamber is ornate and
breathtakingly beautiful, and the Minotaur's robes are richly,
wonderfully made. He nods to greet you. You try saying hello, asking
questions, but he will not speak. You inform him that you have come
for the horns and ask for them politely. He doesn't understand, grunts
and turns away, seems in a bad mood. Well, you didn't come all this
way for nothing! You reach for the horns, he rebuffs you. You strive
to take them and he strives to prevent you. Finally, you attack, a
roar rising in your throat. It is now a full pitched battle, and if
necessary, you fight dirty, because DAMMIT, YOU HAVE GOT TO GET THOSE
DAMNED HORNS!

There is something familiar about the Minotaur/priest, and you soon
find out why. When you pull his mask away, all fighting stops and you
get a good look at him. It's your mum.

“Mum!” you exclaim.

“Yes daughter,” she smiles, panting. “Looks like you got the better of me!”

She explains everything to you now, giving you food and drink to
strengthen you for your ascent. “You see, if that man of yours
hadn't given you a clue, you could have died down here!”
“Does that mean he loves me?” You wonder.
“Not necessarily…” Says your mum “But he obviously wants you to
live. Any man of this town could have given you the clue. I think
it's a good sign that he was the one!”

You then would take the horns and feel your way out of the cave, and
the ascent would be as difficult, but not as unbearable. Keeping to
the left, you would feel you way toward the exit and sunlight. At last
you would step, blinking, out of the cave and shouts would go up that
you were alive and victorious. People would come running, virgin
priestesses would strip you, drench you with water, dress you in a new
white tunic, anoint you with fragrant oils and crown you with laurels.
You'd be brought to the High Priestess, who would accept the horns from
you, and pronounce you a woman before all. Women of the town would grab
you and bear you away to a night of womanly celebrations, pushing your
girlfriends out of the way.

May the Goddess give you your clue, and may you have the wisdom to use
it, for your clue might be here now, and you may not be able to see it,
for what do you make of so much devotion from someone who cares.

I care.

Tony

Well, ummmmm… thanks Tony. I think?

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