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I’m Old?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ack. Thpt.

I didn’t know what to get Ponzi for Valentine’s Day. Really, truly. I always seem to pick the “wrong” jewelry and clothing styles when we’re out and about, so I didn’t even bother to go that route. Flowers? No. Chocolates? No. A Nintendo DS Lite - white, to match her iPod (which she did appreciate).

The hardware was sitting behind a locked case at Target, so I had to locate a “keymaster” employee. Since I wasn’t sure if Ponzi would want white or black, I got one of each. There were also a handful of games in front of me, so I asked about a few of ‘em. Was that the original Super Mario Bros? “Yeah, but it’s like the old, old, old one from the old NES.”

DUDE?! I grew up with that game system! Hell, I was a frosh in high school when Zelda was my princess! OLD?! Does it look like I wear dentures? Do you see any grey hairs? I whacked the kid with my cane, pivoted in the Little Rascal, and wheeled away with those handheld game units tightly pressed against my Searsucker.

Old. I’m old!?

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39 Comments

We’re not “old” Chris, we are CLASSIC…hehe coming from someone who had an original Puffalump and can hum the “All Star Blazers…” theme.
Classic.

*laugh* seems the blog sphere is getting a dose of old lately. Someone recently was spouting off that the decline in CD sales was simply because “music these days stinks”. Yeah, I seem to remember the older generation saying that about my music when I was younger as well. Didn’t they say the same about Elvis?

My wife was just telling me about a recent survey a grad student did, asking incoming collage freshman and sophmores about politics. The majority opinion was that “politics are for old people, like people that are 29″.

Guess Moore’s law applies to geeks as well :)

Tell me about it Chris. I get odd looks from kids when I show them the original Doom on my PDA and they say “so where’s the reload animation? why don’t those giant pink monsters that look like a wad of chewing gum stop running at you when you have a chainsaw out? Wheres the AI? Pfft, this game sucks…”

Oh, Chris - NOW you know personally what we’re talkin’ about at Time Goes By :-)

You young whipper snapper! I used to wait in line IN LINE at the Student Center to play PONG!

My first real “Old” experience was out shopping too. I was at a music store chain, paying for some purchase with a debit card. The girl behind the counter was looking at my ID, recognized the name and said “Oh, are you blah blah’ dad?” Come on - for me to be that kid’s dad I would have to have been that kids age when he was born!

OK, so it was almost plausible, but still.

I wouldn’t worry. I mean, I played the NES/SNES as a kid too. And well, I’m only 17!

:P

Um..Chris, I know it is a joke, but do you really think it is a good idea to nickname a person “Ponzi”? Specially with the illegal leanings of this name such as “ponzi scheme/pyramid scheme” lol

Just teasing Chris

You’re just a kid. I’ve been a subscriber to the lockergnome newsletters almost since you started and have “watched” your life progress. I am impressed with how you have matured and taken technology to new visions. I am 66 and about to retire from teaching, but I still love my computers, digital cameras and other electronics. I have learned a lot from your newsletters and always found them very interesting. Keep up the good work; as long as you find interesting things to learn and do, you will NEVER grow old.
PS, you must like the Farside.

No, Chris, you aren’t old. It’s just that time goes way too fast and things change quicker than we do! I watch my Grandkids play their video games and wonder what the hell happened in those few years. Zelda was my favorite and I don’t recall ever having to turn down the sound because of the language! New is not always better! Take care.

I realized I am no longer young when I hit fifty. When I truly was young, I thought fifty was really OLD! Now at fifty-seven, I have come to the realization that you are only as old as you think you are.

Now, that does not mean that at fifty-seven I should try to look or act like I am twenty (It’d never work any way), but I do not have to act old. I still have fun with my son’s pet dog Katie, and I will be a geek-wanna-be till the day I die. I love to play with my big boy toys and I love my wife as much as I did the day we married (October 19, 1974). Essentially I am the same fellow I was when I was young (but more experienced).

What happened to you at Target should not be regarded as a sign of age, but evidence that you enjoy a rich history. That young fellow can not possibly appreciate the wonder you must have felt the first time you saw that game load and run on your TV (you did run it on a TV didn’t you) , so how could he be expected to understand its value? Feel sad for him. Think of all the ‘firsts’ he missed like the first video game, the first personal computer, the first cell phone, the first man in space, the first man on the moon (well, maybe I’m going back a bit far for you, but i remember the first time Elvis Presley appeared on the Ed Sullivan show).

If I’m not old, how can you be?

You might want to get a copy of Brain Age to keep your aging mind sharp…

I realized I was not as young as I thought anymore when I brought my Kindergarten aged daughter to a special fingerprinting program at her school. The police officer that fingerprinted my daughter was no more than 20.

I don’t know why, but it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m older than many people in authority positions today. Will it be harder to watch my tongue if I’m ever pulled over by a cop much younger than me?

It doesn’t get any better- my daughter is already 14!

Know how you feel! Imagine going into a Staples store , trying to buy a common variety typewriter cleaner and finding out that they did not know WHAT a typewriter is??? I ended up at a stationary store, feeling a lot older than when I left the house I can tell you. I still laugh at that one too.
Bev

You’re old,
I’m old,
Bob’s old,
Mold’s gold.

Welcome to the club Chris! You knew it would happen one day, didn’t you? :-)

You think you are old!!! Listen to my story. Way back when the Xbox 360 came out all the old Xbox’s were on sale. So my husband got us one. It came with a game. So later in the week we went to the local game store (which I love as much as a jewelry store) and were looking at gameboy games, and used xbox games. This youngin’ looked at me in awe that I was checking out the xbox games. I don’t know if he thought I was old, or on a ventilator and could think. He says “you want a game?’ I said of course I do, I am a gamer. He was totally blown away and then started showing me the best of the xbox games. It was quite amusing.
I love to freak people out.

My hubby knew he was old he asked for the senior price on movie tickets AS A JOKE, and the pimply-faced teenage ticket-kid, gave it to him. Joke was on hubby!!

Bah. They can get my NES when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.

Kids born in 1990 will be voting for the next President of the United States. Think about that.

face it chris the first time you get carded you’re old, the first time a DJ hasn’t heard of the smiths you’re old, the first time someone says IRC, what like myspace but boring, you’re old, somebody says manic miner manic what ? you’re old get used to it, it happens all the time. feel smug enjoy the fact you can appreciate what realworld 1.5 is like and enjoy the techfreedom your grandma could never have.

by the way valentines cards and gifts …… make it yourself, it’ll be less polished but hell when you clear your loft out in twenty years you’ll find it and that’s what’s really important.

hey i hate ur story.
you ***** suk

u suk dude
u f’ukin suk

That first experience being identified as “Old” is always a killer. Not for nothing have I had the signature “Old as the hills and twice as moldy” for over thirty years. Kid!

One of the painful moments in aging for me was when I realized that some of the tv shows that I watched from start to finish when they were new are now on Nick at Nite.

You cannot be that old due to your misuse and spelling of the word “searsucker” (sic). Seersucker is a type of fabric. What did you mean?

Monica - I love you - Al classic, that’s… that’s …. well frankly that’s classic

[...] how old are you? chris is old me too but actually I’m now relabeled as al classic or classical who knows?? anyway a good way to track how old you are is throw a few characters from kids TV in and see who smiles and who looks puzzled. [...]

HA! I know your pain. I’m a disciple of Pong. Welcome to the club old man.

Chris Pirillo Chris Pirillo Chris Pirillo….
You’re not old…but getting there eventually hehe. I’m 22 years older than
you, and I played Centipede and Pac-Man on an Atari 800XL with
cartridge slot…..memories….don’t have the hand-eye coordination
anymore for that stuff.

When I was in high school, I thought 50 was ancient…I was trying
to get my sisters to chip in for a rocking chair for my dad on his
50th.

>>>Ack. Thpt.

When I was younger Superman was on TV
When I got older Superman was in movies
Now that I’m even older Clark Kent (Superboy) is on TV
So as time goes by not much changes.

One day my wife was singing a song as she worked around the house. Our teen-aged daughter walked by and said, “Gee, mom, I didn’t know you liked OUR music.”
My wife responded with, “Dear, I liked the Beach Boys when they were BOYS!”

Like fine wine…we are better with age. Celebrate your crankiness! Wear that “Age and Treachery will win out over youth and beauty” t-shirt.

Join the Grey Panthers (if they’re still around) and get militant.

*G*

Chris you are over the hill!

…from a Colecovision kid…

I guess I am old too, even though I am not 40 yet. I didn’t know how to turn on a computer until I got to college. When I was young I wanted to get older. Now that I am “old” I want to get younger. That’s just one of life’s little paradoxes that has been driving people crazy since time began. I got this email the other day from a friend and thought it was relevant. (Actually a little too relevant for my comfort.) Enjoy.

“Hey Dad,” one of my kids asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”

“We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. “All the food was slow.”

“C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?”

“It was a place called ‘at home,’” I explained. “Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.”

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone’s lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called “pizza pie.” When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It’s still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn’t have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather’s Ford. He called it a “machine.”

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning.. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else’s tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn’t do that in movies. I don’t know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren’t allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren.. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to “sprinkle” clothes with water because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16 Hi-fi’s
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19 Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You’re still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don’t tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You’re older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.

Don’t forget to pass this along!
Especially to all your really OLD friends….
=====
“Senility Prayer”…God grant me…
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference.”
Have a great week!!!!!!

Old geez that would have been when I was old enough to join AARP,
Stopped getting carded buying liquor,cigars,etc - Now, my wife has become ancient last year she was carded 8 times, this they said she looks her age. “30″

Could be worse dude you coulda been around when Al Gore the ARPAnet and me were all being invented @ MIT .

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