I Am Ninja. You Are Ninja. We Are Ninja Book.

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I realize I’m kind of ruining it for you, but I am the Ask-a-Ninja. You didn’t know that until now, of course. Not really… that would be someone else. The only way I’ve been able to embrace my inner Ninja is thanks to Kent and his crew from Ask A Ninja. You guys already know who I am. If you don’t, just Google the word Chris. I learned to be a Ninja courtesy of the new book The Ninja Handbook.

After much debate and in a spirit of morbid amusement, the International Order of Ninjas has chosen to produce The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever secret ninja training guide specifically designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who handle these delicate, deadly pages will die–probably in an elaborately horrific and painful manner. But whether your journey lasts five seconds or five days or (rather inconceivably) five years, all those who bravely take up this text and follow the tenets and trials laid out within will die knowing they were as ninja as they possibly could’ve been. For the true of heart or the extremely lucky, this powerful and honorable manuscript contains such phenomenal ninja wisdom as:

1. How to create and name your very own lethal ninja clan
2. The proper weapon to use when fighting a vampire pumpkin
3. Why clowns and robots are so dangerous on the Internet
4. Easy-to-follow charts showing when to slice and when to stab
5. How to execute such ultradeadly kicks as the Driving Miss Daisy
6. Why pretty much every ninja movie ever made sucks
7. How to make a shoggoth explode using well-placed foliage
8. What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll need to make it explode
9. Death Aide certification

Remember: People do not take the Path, the Path takes people.

This book will save your life, even though the front of it says “This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon”. It will save your life, and help you kill other things! Release your inner Ninja today.

• Ninja Link Cloaker.
• Make Firework Chemicals For Cheap!
• Underground Ninja Secrets.

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