How To Tell If Your Date Is a Potential Train Wreck

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Geek!This is Katie Darden’s submission for the HP Magic Giveaway. Feel free to leave comments for this article as you see fit – your feedback is certainly welcomed! If you’d like to submit your own how-to, what-is, or top-five list, you can send it to me. Views and opinions of this writer are not necessarily my own:

Let’s face it, dating is a gamble – especially today. First you have to find someone who appears to be interesting, then you have to spend enough time together to find out if you’re reasonably compatible. And what makes it harder is that most people start out on their “best behavior” – at least for the first few months.

So you spend several months getting to know each other, becoming comfortable with the cute little idiosyncrasies, and generally investing lots of emotional energy into this new relationship. Imagine your disappointment when you suddenly realize that those idiosyncrasies have become an irritation. And not just a minor irritation, but a major pain-in-the-neck! Now you’re not so sure you want to be with this person any longer. In fact, depending on what you’ve finally discovered or realized, you may be looking for any possible escape from a situation that is making you miserable!

Luckily not all relationships end up this way. And, there’s actually a way to spot trouble before it starts. If you take the time to learn how to recognize a few red flags, you may be able to see the (hand)writing on the wall long before you get into a mess in the first place.

Using simple graphology (handwriting analysis), you can learn a lot about how a person interacts with the world. This information can help you avoid a dating “Train wreck” before it happens. So go grab a sample of your prospective date’s handwriting, and let’s see how it matches up with the handwriting traits listed below. You can use a note, a shopping list, a letter – whatever you can find that has a few words scribbled on it.

Train wreck Traits to Watch Out For

There are several letter formations (traits) that, when taken together, indicate trouble. Here are five you can learn that will help you recognize when to put the brakes on. One or two may be acceptable, but if your date has all five, you’re in for a rocky ride!

Trait #1 – Lying loops

Lying Loops 1 Lying Loops 2
The loops in our handwriting indicate imagination. When the letter “o” has double loops, the person has a difficult time being honest with himself or with others. If the loops overlap, creating a third (inner) loop, this person is a pathological liar and will make up stories even when the truth is better. If honesty is important to you, then avoid this person altogether.

Trait #2 – Low Self Esteem

Low Esteem

Low self esteem is probably the number one problem facing people today. The person with a low self-image is not only afraid of failure, but is also afraid of making changes because those changes could lead to failure.

This shows up in the handwriting as very low cross bars on the letter “t”, and often manifests as being highly self-critical and unworthy. People with low self esteem will often bend over backwards in their relationship and simply put up with unkind treatment from their partner. Unfortunately they tend to believe they deserve the mistreatment they receive, and so they stay in a bad relationship.

While it may be attractive to be with someone who is outwardly very generous in the beginning of a relationship, those with low self esteem can also be so unsure of themselves that they become clingy, needing more and more of your time and energy. In general, the higher the cross bar, the higher the self esteem.

Trait #3 –Needs a Challenge (and Makes it You)

Needs a Challenge

See how the top of the letter looks like a stinger? People who have “stingers” in their writing usually have an unresolved power issue with an authority figure of the opposite sex. This often has its roots in childhood or adolescence and may have been with a parent, a close relative, or some other adult who exerted power or authority over them.

As they get older, they find themselves drawn to people and situations where there is a challenge. It’s the classic story of getting bored with the “nice guy” and dumping him for the class rebel. While these kinds of relationships may be exciting and intense, they can also become destructive, especially if the person with the stinger continually provokes the other partner.

Trait #4 – Overly-Sensitive (or Downright Paranoia)

Overly Sensitive

The person who is overly sensitive to criticism writes the letters “l, d, h, or b” with wider than normal upper loops. This imagination in the realm of the intellect causes the person to believe there is criticism even when none is present. If the loop is exaggerated, then this person can be downright paranoid, imagining all kinds of things which may or may not be true.

The larger the loop, the more room for imagination to fill it.

Trait #5 – Anti-Social (Fear of Needing Others)

Anti-Social

Just as a loop indicates imagination, the lack of a loop indicates lack of imagination. When we are young, we’re taught to write the letters “y, g, j, or z” with a lower loop. As we become adults, our handwriting changes from the textbook examples. This is a natural part of our development as our handwriting begins to respond to our mental processes.

When a person writes these lower loop letters with very wide loops, it indicates he has lots of imagination in the realm of physical relationships. This person is generally very gullible and too trusting of others.

When a person writes these letters with a small loop, or no loop at all, it indicates there is a distinct lack of trust. This person may like to be around others, but will be somewhat reserved when it comes to sharing his personal life. He may have a small circle of friends, or prefer to be a loner.

The smaller the loop, the less trust is felt towards others.

Major Train wreck: Dual Personality

Dual-Personality

While one or two of the previous traits might be unpleasant, they’re not generally, by themselves, a deal breaker. Someone with this particular trait, however, should be avoided at all costs if you value stability in your relationships.

The slant of our handwriting reveals our emotional response to life, circumstances and people. From time to time we all shift our slant in one direction or another, depending on what is going on at the moment. For instance, when I take notes, my writing is more vertical. When I’m writing to a friend it slants to the right.

However, when you see writing that changes within the same sentence – or even worse within the same word – this tells you the person is not emotionally stable. With emotional responses shifting all over the place, you will never know what to expect.

This trait, even by itself, is a red flag saying, “Stay Away!” When it’s found with any of the other traits on this list, it amplifies the dysfunctional part of that trait.

Save Yourself!

No one is perfect, and everyone has some faults. Most of us can deal with one or two of these traits in a partner, provided they’re not extreme. Understanding yourself and recognizing how these traits play out in a relationship will help you determine which ones you can live with. And becoming good at spotting these traits might just save you from your own train wreck.