What did the world do before air conditioning? Did people smear ice cream all over themselves and let it melt off? Did they bathe in ice cubes? It's not so much the heat as it is the gosh darn humidity. I'm breaking a sweat just thinking about it. Even though I've been relaxing on the couch for the past half hour, I'm still stuck underneath a laptop – which is running cooler than this city is tonight. Could somebody turn on the ceiling fan for me? I'd do it, but I'm afraid my skin will stick to the sofa if I try to move.