“I have a strange skin fungus which can only be cured by visiting a specialist in Iowa. His next opening is in the middle of August.”

“I just got subpoenaed. The trial is in Des Moines, Iowa. It should only take a couple of days.”

“Send me to Gnomedex or the singing fish gets it.”

“Look, this cubicle is sucking the life out of me. If you really want me to be a more productive worker, I'll need a vacation. Two days in Des Moines, Iowa oughta do it.”

“Sending me to Gnomedex would be the worst thing you could ever do. Please don't send me to Gnomedex. Please. Anything but that, sir… I can go? Really?”

“Oh yeah, everybody's going. Even [competitor] is sending all their people there for the weekend.”

“Look, I have to go away for a couple of days. If someone named 'Vinny' comes looking for me, just act dumb.”

“No, sir… it's always been called Gnomedex. Vegas? No, it's always been in Des Moines. Of course I'm being honest!”

“You know them computer thingies we're always trying to learn how to use right? These guys are gonna show us some practical tricks.”

“It's either this or we have to go to your mother-in-law's thirteenth wedding. Your call.”

“Vacation? Hardly. At most conventions, most people party. This one is totally serious. There is absolutely no fun involved whatsoever. It's in Des Moines, Iowa of all places! In fact, it'll be downright boring. Can I go?”

“There's a new technology our company needs to have and the only way you can hear about it is by going to this thing in Des Moines, Iowa.”

“Our furnace is busted. Unless you want to [bake / freeze] when autumn rolls around, you'd better let me go to Des Moines, Iowa to pick up the replacement part.”

“Hey – look over there. What? No, I didn't change anything on your calendar. You wrote down 'Gnomedex' earlier, remember?”

“I can't get any work done around here. My spouse will continue to drive me up the wall until I say we're going to Gnomedex.”