Can Marriage be Saved without Talking about It?

hello

First view and comment wow :D

Good Vid Chris, Keep ‘em comming

lol.. nice

w00t

Sounds interesting Chris, gonna order it from Amazon and see what happens !

“think like a women” hahahaha thats funny!!!!!!

Hello!

“dont talk about fight club” lol

Owch.

I couldn’t imagine that you could really “save” a marriage with without talking about it in any way. I can see making a marriage more pleasant by simply acting in a way that shows that you love her, but not talking abotu problems doesn’t mean they’ll go away.

As with the above poster, I too do not agree that you can save a marriage without talking. Talking is very essential to save a person’s marriage. I have checked out the book that Ponzi gave you and it looks like an interesting read.

Thanks for the post Chris!

That book, “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It”, sounds interesting to me. I might give it a try when I get married on of these days. However, I find it hard to believe that any marriage can exist without talking things over with your spouse. Like they say, “The most important thing in any relationship is communication”. Perhaps I am taking the title of the book too literally?

Thank you for the share, Chris! This might help some of the married folks out there.

Chris I just wanted to thank you for this information. I have been telling my wife for years that we could communicate more effectively in our marriage, if only we did not talk so much. Now I have validation… When I get home from work in the morning, I am definitely going to order this book!

Damn, to late to save mine but still might explain where i went wrong for next time:)

well, you are right that learning how to succeed in marriage is a lifelong thing. I love the you read this book. My husband is from New England - a natural non-talker when it comes to “relationship” and over the years I have gradually adopted more of this style. And I think we get along now better than ever. I gotta read this book.

I have been married to the same man for 35 years now. We are two different people. We have always been able to talk to each other but the most important thing is to really listen. I feel strongly if you truly love someone you want to do what it takes to make them happy: should be equal then in turn they will make you happy. Life it to short to fuss and fight.. I am sure there are alot of books out there to help people. For me the best rule is DO unto others as you would have them do unto you… Respect each others difference. After all those are the things that you may have loved about them in the first place…… jmho

Thanks for sharing Chris.

This would be a nice Father’s Day gift for my dad. He and my mom get into some pretty loud arguments sometimes, it’s a pretty tense situation for me. Who knows what all this fighting is doing to me psychologically? :P

But yeah, great birthday gift, for both of my parents really.

Interestingly, guys DO talk about their relationships… just not in the same capacity that females do. I tend to only talk about relationships with my most trusted friends.

Hi Chris,

I am glad that you enjoyed this book–I had mentioned to Ponzi how much it helped Andru and I to better know ourselves & each other.
It is not a book about cutting out communication in a marriage but rather learning how to renew the connection you had when you first fell in love and understanding the differences between you and your spouse–leading to better and more loving conversations between the two of you.

So Sean…you are not off the hook, no validation for what you think this book is about:)
Don’t judge a book by its cover…and listen to Chris, this book was meant especially for Geek-minded people because you are all one and the same:) (meant in a kind way) It is a great read for you alone or for couples.

I would think that communication is a key part of marriage is communication. So this book is very interesting, I still wonder if there is a better way to sort out marriatal issues.

I thought that communication was a key part of marriage. So a book that helps your relationship without talking is very interesting, I suppose it works if it can change your mindset.

LOL. You should think about including this book with the Dragon giveaway ;-). Kidding!

There are times when you have to be quite and there are times when you have to speak up and talk, during a marriage I mean to say. P.S. Just saw this movie, The Good Shepard, he doesn’t talk to his wife at all… which does not do any good to their marriage.

Ok, I’m not married and I don’t have a relationship (not once), so I can’t really relate.. This book is best for couple who are in one roof or planning to be married. The reason there is problem with marriage is that they take ideas in a wrong way. They don’t have enough trust to that so-called partnership. They don’t trust their partners and they ended up jealous and doubtful.

I’m not married, but I do agree that pretty much every relationship book I’ve seen wants men to “open up” and “think like a women” almost as if all relationship problems are the guys fault.

I really would never read a book titled like this! Don’t speaking would never save problems in a marriage, people must discus their problems with their next. There are so much book and things about this and every one does say something other. People just must find out what is the best by their own. What about Microsoft? On what are they working?

I think by hearing what you said or reading whatever !

I think that book might be wrong or correct because the best way to maintain relationship is to talk, which has been proven right from our ancestors.

I am not married but I do have a gf, we generally talk if we have problem or suggestions or anything.

But when i get married I will try to read this book.

Thank you for the information Chris.

Seems like an interesting read nonetheless. I have never really had a problem talking to my wife about our relationship, but I don’t always say the things she wants to hear. We have stupid little fights but we never stay mad at each other longer than a couple of hours… and absolutely never go to sleep mad at each other… that’s mutual rule of ours. I think this has worked for us for the better part of 7 years. I agree that marriage is a constantly evolving entity that you must work through and learn about, but all you need is to be willing to do so… be willing to compromise without consequence. I’m not an expert by any means, but this has worked for us.

Ahg. I hate those books, but I do realize that there is a need for them.

you may be able to make it last a little longer but not save it, thats out of the question

Ya know… I am a woman… and I honestly hate the run-around when it comes to talking. I ENJOY getting to the point of any argument or conversation and moving on - but my husband and I have this different way of communicating.

For example, there was this one time when we were both getting a bit heated because we thought our way was better over something silly. But in the end, we realized that we were both stating the same thing… just differently! Like, how many frames does it take to make south park? I wanted a number… he wanted to talk the logistics of making the show. Ridiculous.. huh?

So… I think the only thing that pisses me off royally in our marriage is the fact that I have to carry the kids for 9 months. (Yeah, I know you’ve heard it before)… but seriously, I’m pregnant with our fourth child, gone through five different *** drives, had a total body transformation after each child (not to mention the stress and responsibility that comes on top of having a child now), and live with this expectation of being a totally hot and on-top-of-things kind of wife. THAT is where I feel a lot of our trouble is coming from right now.

I’m just tired of feeling as though I should feel towards my husband that which I felt when I first met him - it’s hard when I don’t really feel I fit into my skin anymore (that’s not to say I’m fat… it just means I look in the mirror and don’t recognize who I am after all this took place). Does that make sense to you guys? Hence, I like being reminded of the good things that he sees in me - even if they’ve changed since we first met! *sigh* Honestly, what do you think of this?

Kind Regards,
-Shaina

Yeah I think that it would be stupid to think that you could but you could make it last a while longer maybe

There are times when silence can speak more volumes than words ever could. :)

I have read all kinds of books on love (being somewhat of a literature major) and almost every last one tells me that I need to learn a woman’s “love language”. What most of these authors fail to realize is that guys CANT speak the language of women! It’s nice to see at least ONE book takes this into consideration.

This book sounds like something worth checking into!

In order to have any successful relationship (work, friend, marriage) you have to talk. If you have a relationship that is in need of being brought back to live, you have to talk. I haven’t read the book or read into the description any more than what is excerpted in this post but it seems like a crazy idea to me.

Ok, I totally agree with your first point Chris. It’s hard for us to get through a book that was made by women, for women. I have heard of this book before, but never bought it. But after reading through your blog post, I think I should.

Me and my wife are in the same situation as you and Ponzi, we don’t like talking about it. I love tech also, so this book should be able to help me alot.

Some of us, especially us tech lovers, find it very hard to talk about relationships to their wife/husband. I don’t know why, but we do.

I know that, if I get this book, I won’t be finishing it for a while. I’m like that will all books, but this would be something else. I can’t help but read about… 1 chapter, and put it down for a few days. Hence why I take so long to finish a book.

The point where you mention that the book doesn’t force you to do something - it just “advises” you, is a very important thing. The book sounds great, thanks for informing me Chris!

I’m not married (yet), but it sounds like a good book. I’m usually not into those kinds of self help books, but when I get married, I might look it up.

Thanks for the advice. I will have to check it out. My husband and I never fight. It’s always good to be informed with all the info you can get!

I’m not really into relationship books but I think there might be some help in them. At this moment I’m enjoying being single but I know that relationships can be difficult because it’s about statisfieing the needs and feelings of both persons in that relationship.

Interesting review thought starting out with not know what to tell and then getting into an endless monologue :p

I might give the book a try in a few months/years.

Ps. is it required to include your youtube links in comments or wut? I see how it could be handy, didn’t really think bout it untill now.

I think a key to a happy marriage is to communicate, appreciate and love each other. I do not like it if somebody is controlling the family, it should be both husband and wife who are equal.

Well i don’t know much about long term relationships as i’m still young and stick usually just with short ones but i guess in future when i’m going to graduate from college or university it might even come handy but for now i’m going to not read it and i’m not that into a reading anyways ^^

16 Years married with no book to help…

Saving a marriage without talking sounds great but to do that somethings have to change if you are having problems. I guess if some one is doing something that affects the marriage in a negative way and they stop and start doing positive things that would be one way to save a marriage. but communication in a relationship is very important . One way to have a productive communication in a disagreement is to set rules and boundary’s for the conversation like each person will take turns speaking for 3 min at a time and the other person will repeat what they said and then they will have there turn for 3 min with no interruptions

Honestly I don’t believe it. Isn’t a relationship like 99.9% communication? If you’re not talking then there’s no way you can save it.

Okay, I’m going to add onto this just a little. And if you don’t mind I’m going to quote from the Bible. It’s a scripture that actually seemed to make a lot of sense and I SERIOUSLY believe it was worded the way it is for a reason.

Ephesians 5:33 states: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Have you ever thought about this for a second? Yes, we are all on different ballparks when it comes to marriage and communication, but THIS is where I’ve noticed the issues begin.

A husband will ask that his wife notices him for what he does for her and the family. The wife asks for love (such as intimacy or romance… well… the ones I talk to usually). Both parties have to cooperate to allow this to take place.

My husband and I are celebrating our 6th anniversary this weekend… and I gotta tell ya that it’s been no joy-ride, but we’ve learned a lot about this.

Now, from what I listened to about this book, it sounds like it speaks as though the marriage is already having trouble - or at least it’s assumed that there’s going to be one sooner or later. But that it also speaks in more detail of how each party should view and understand certain aspects that shouldn’t necessarily NEED to be talked about.

Anyone can talk… we know that… but understanding is key to a relationship… and you can’t really TALK that out. You either understand or you don’t… or something pushes you to change your understanding.

Well, I hope this makes some sense… I’m not arguing per se… just agreeing in a different way! :) *giggles*

Kind Regards,
-Shaina

P.S. Chris… I’ll read the book!

Yeah I think that it would be stupid to think that you could but you could make it last a while longer maybe.

Without talking about “it” (the marriage) sure, but not talking, no. I don’t think that talking about the problems in the marriage is the solution. But to have a good marriage, I would think the communication is key.

I can only reiterate…don’t judge a book by it’s cover…the title is being taken too literally. It is a great book for relationships, as well as for personal use, as it helped me understand myself better. And Andru (my husband)swears
this book was written about him. Give it a try…

Im not married so i don’t benefit but the book sounds good for my parents…

I tend to stear very clear of books of this nature, but after listening and reading what you said it did for you Chris I think I will look into this one. Anything that’ll help me and my fellow men understand women that much more is a book worth reading in my eyes.

That sounds like a great book any book about relationships that can hold a man’s attention and have him recomend it to others makes me want to take a look at it and just about every men I know does not like to talk so this one should be a winner. You make me want to read it Chris.

haha. women seem to rely on those relationship books all the time. i know somebody who’s ex thought that after reading one of those, she’d get him back.

No way you got to talk

In my opinion, one of the most important things in marriage is that you make sure you are going to be able to work together before you even think about getting married. It doesn’t make sense to me how people jump into a relationship and then just decide to get married without really finding out if they will have personality clashes. It is important to take the time in advance to resolve these problems before your married and looking for a divorce.

Wow. The Fight Club comment really made me laugh. Only a geek would laugh or even get that kind of thing. =P

If you don’t talk about your problems, it can only make the marriage worse.

i will definitely have to pick up this book. but as far as saving a marriage without talking about it just doesnt seem right to me bc i do believe communication is key in ne relationship marriage or friend ship but maybe this book will change my outlook .. i still think communication is good no matter how you do it over IM, email, over the phone, or in person it does matter. me and my husband do alot of communicattion over email specially about personal matters just bc hes not good with sharing his feelings face to face which i think is hard for alot of guys but i definitely will be picking this book up! thankss ponzi and chris

i agree 99% of those books are written for women or are by women.

Talking about it? Where the part where she throws stuff at you? Or tells you to sleep on the couch? Oh well, I suppose thats only in my house. lol. I’m extremely fortunate to have a wife who loves me, and of course, I love her to death. Thankfully, we don’t have these problems…………. yet.

1. don’t read about how to fix you marriage just work it out together.

2. don’t let others tell you how your marriage should work

3. don’t even get married if you don’t have the feeling of lonelyness when he/she isnt around.

kinda basics but works.

Thank you for recomandation!I am not married yet,but I will soon.I’ll better start reading this book from now to know how to step into marriage

WOW! Very different. I always learned to solve a problem through talking abut it :)

Sounds like a helpful book for those married or about to be married. Not so much for me though, only in the first real stage of a relationship right now. It would kinda be awkward reading that now. I hope you got a lot from the book though, it seems like it inspired you quite a bit :)

They way I see it is that a book can’t solve relationship problems only the two that are having the problem can. But, since the book got a good review I guess I’ll just have when and if a relationship problem comes my way later in life. ;)

IMHO, you have to communicate somewhat for the marriage to work, however it’s kind of like *** in someways. When you talk about what, when, where and how you want it to be, it just ruins the whole thing.

Sometimes It’s better to just do whatever you have planned. If you see your idea, fantasy, whatever doesn’t work out right you can alter how you approach the thing. You can talk about likes and dislikes without formally talking about the thing directly. It takes the pressure off the other person to perform or act a certain way. Just see how you want the realtionship and just take step to make it that way.

I’d say that if you’re with someone you don’t talk with (and actually got to the point of marrying them), then you made a mistake a long time ago in your relationship. Knowing how people communicate and interact without words however, is a different story and interesting in and of itself.

my gf and i havent seen each other in almost a month because of a conflict that started …and yesterday we both decided to see each other…i was wondering what should i say…what do i talk about…well instead …i just made her dinner and waited for her to come over…we ate ..and of course we greeted each other ..but it was quiet…but not awkward quiet…it was just nice…then we went to my room and watched television and just enjoyed each others company…not much was said on how to fix our relationship…we both just felt it

lol Chris. You probably thought that you would never read a book like that. Looks like you liked it alot though. So if anyone is interested on improving there marriage then this might be the book to read.

chris you should check out personality plus

Interesting share, thanks!

CHRIS, you did the first take so well but then at the end you gave up, why? It was great how Ponzi and you interacted on that first take!

Who says you aren’t allowed to review books just because you didn’t graduate from some big university and don’t dress up like Leonard Maltin XD

BTW, that book seems to help with a real problem now, geeks marrying non-geeks. I can understand how this can be tough, do you have any idea how hard it is to find geeky babes? Trust me I’ve been through some of the same hardships XD

interesting, but I’d have to say the best review for a book like this is from a guy, one who normally doesn’t read this stuff. If you like it, then its good, if not its any other normal book.

Hey Chris, this vid was funny and serious at times but i have found it useful for friends and family. Since i am not married i wouldnt know about relationships but i do know how they work with family issues.

Since my parents are divorced its has impacted me real hard on what i should do for my self and my future. i know my parents want me to be sucessful when it comes to me having a family so i want to make sure i dont make the same mistake. which i wont

thanks chris for the vid and info about that book

save your marriage without talking? no, but it sounds like that book has some good ideas. talking is key, finding the right time to talk is almost more important. because a lot of people don’t want to talk immediately after an argument. some do, but not all. having a chance to calm down is clutch as well.

I am a dude and in school so I dont know much about marriage but I do love reading books! And its been three years since I had a girlfriend but it maybe something for the future, thanks Chris!

hm…sounds interesting, especially because a hardcore geek like Chris brought up a “female book” on his GEEK WEBSITE. From what I heard, although I’m not married, I might be able to connect through my relationship with my girlfriend. I’m a geek, I’m a guy, and I have a girlfriend, so maybe, just maybe, I might pick up the book when I’m really bored and check it out hehehe.

My relationship with my girlfriend isn’t the best one - don’t get me wrong, we love each other, we spend lots of time with each other, like any other natural couple, but we have our own ups and downs and argments here and there. I guess I could check out the book sometime to see if I could be any better right? Afterall, anything for my girlfriend I guess =P

Can Marriage be Saved without Talking about it? Most definitely. Any kind of relationship can be saved without talking about it, really. Conversations are an integral part of any relationship but, if you think about it, they are not needed to fix things!

Let’s say you burn your toast in the morning. What do you do? You clean it up, add butter to it and eat it. You rented a movie and turned it in a day late. What do you do? Go to the store, give the $1.50-ish to the clerk and you’re done.

It sure isn’t the same when talking about a marriage, a friendship or anything that involves humans… but it isn’t that different either. You just have to sit down by yourself, think what you can do to help you help yourself and your partner, think what have you been doing wrong (in your better half’s standards, not just yours), think how you can achieve a fix, get yourself up and start doing so. It’s not easy, but heck when you fix a relationship that was a couple of inches from destruction, you start feeling proud and better, typically working up to make things better eternally.

Communication is a key aspect in everyone’s life. Doesn’t matter if it is in a marriage, a business, or a team. If you don’t have communication, you don’t have anything. I don’t think you can have a marriage and make it work and last without talking to each other. Trying to work things out non-verbally doesn’t work at all, at least it doesn’t for me.

Communication is something that should be cherished. But, I think it is weird that “experts” are the know all on how everyone should communicate. I think that you should do what works for you, and you should weed out what doesn’t. It feels like marriage is becoming the most controlled area of life.

I am getting married in November. We have been together for 6 years. We have been thru a lot.

Well, maybe a general summary of the book would be nice :D
But, it seems interesting, because actually that is my way of thinking, because I’m not a guy of words, it’s really hard for me to express myself with verbal words, if I want to express like feelings, or have a serious talk about an issue I have, I have to either write it down, or be shouting, or use lots and lots of mimics, so I guess that book would really help me eh?

This book sounds very useful. I’m not married, but I probably could still apply the information in it to my current relationship. Thanks for the tip!

i dont believe that you can save a marriage by not talking i think that it would just make it worst and ultimately lead to divorce

I disagree with many of the commenters. I do not think that a marriage can be saved without talking about it. In my opinion; if you do not discuss the issues you are having in the marriage, you cannot actually save the marriage to the full extent. You may be able to get back together, but I don’t think the the marriage could get back to how it was originally.

Communication is always the number one factor in a long lasting, successful marriage. When the communication starts to break down, problems will emerge. I can be hard to keep the lines open, but it’s imperative that a husband and wife (or husband and husband/wife and wife) both work to keep the lines of communication open. An open mind is also important. You have to listen to what the other is saying, not just let it go in one ear and out the other. Sometimes what you think is a small, trivial matter is very important to your partner.

i don’t really know if this book is as it sounds, cause i think that the key in a relationship is communication, it depends on the persons, some might have it easy to communicate with each other some harder. This book might actually help.

I’m actually surprised about this. Whenever i hear about people i know breaking up, its usually due to lack of communication. if this book really works though, i might consider buying it.

I should get a copy when I ever get into a relationship. It would be a good read. Even now, it sounds like a good read.

Marriages can only be saved with talking. Are people just supposed to guess what the other person is talking about?

Maintaining a marrige is dependant om many things. If your spouse is unhappy with you or your current situation, or vis versa, then you must talk about it. Lack of communication is the soul reason for relationships going bad. Before you can solve a problem, you have to determine what it is. This cannot be done without talking things over with your spouse. In short, yes, talking about things can potentially save a marrage.

I think I should read it. Maybe when I get into a relationship. But for now, maybe I’ll look for it in the bookstore.

While sometimes it is the silences and the things that are not said which help keep a marraige healthy, for the most part it will not SAVE a marriage, that requires communication

Mmm…I think talking regularly is important and reaffirming your affection through more than just words is also needed.

Having said that, I’m still 25, a virgin, have no luck with women and probably will never marry.

I wish all of you the best.

Did he say “Fight Club” or “Chris and Ponzi on Live Stream”?

Don’t get good insurance for yourself. That at least wipes the bonuses of one option off the board.

nice, i think patient, tolerance,share the sweet and tough time, forgive and everything that related to love are the best way to keep a marriage.

I think patient, tolerance, forgive, share the happy and tough time together and everything related to love is the best way to maintain a marriage. :)

I think patient, tolerance, forgive, share the happy and tough time together and everything related to love is the best way to maintain a marriage. :)

One must first question *why* she gave you the book.
If this causes panic, it might already be too late. If not, read it.

I am a-religious but learned of the catholic practice of `marriage counseling’ before the fact (I forget what it’s called but it sounded like it had `canine’ in it). I was livid at the thought of it. Fortunately I am not catholic.

My wife and I went to couples counseling. We both say it’s the best thing to happen to us since after we met. At the very heart of the problem is communicating (we don’t - but we try). We learned what some of the communication and other issues were and we worked on them. We are a much happier couple for it.

I highly recommend counseling for any couple. BEFORE there are problems is a better time to do this, for obvious reasons. I wish we had done it long ago. It can also teach you lots of interesting things about yourself, as well as your spouse and the relationship.

-lefty (13 years and counting)

ThermionicEmissions

Chris Pirillo Is Home Inventory Delicious?Can Marriage be Saved without Talking about It?How to Find YouTube Videos in Violation of Copyright Where do you Download Desktop Wallpaper? Using Your Telescope to Photograph Explosions on the Moon

TweakUI? I wish.

This and then half of the videos I try to watch on youtube load slow. I cannot find any video or any information off of google on what the problem is. Youtube and only youtube videos have slowed down (half of them) I am watching videos off of youtube without delay with same connetion I have been using last 3 years.
Anyone else dealing with slow youtube as of last two and a half weeks?