2005 August 26

You seen the worst of the Web. Those phishing scams, the Paris Hilton video, hamster dance; how could it get worse? Where do you find the good stuff? If you’re looking for above average, the outlook remains unclear, but if you want the Best of The Web, there is an answer. Best of The Web has been cataloging the best sites on the Internet since 1994. Every link is hand verified, insuring you’re not going to end up at a keyword-stuffing, SEO optimizing site overwhelming you with stuff completely unrelated to your search. In fact, BOTW is a lot like Yahoo was in the days of the Stanford tilde URL. We talked with Greg, the guy responsible for bringing you the best, so if the Web sucks, here’s the guy to blame.

Coverage of SES San Jose is brought to you by MSN Search.

1. If someone sees you reading a message from Scoble, merely claim that “Scoble” is a new finger fungus that you're doing research on. They'll never come near you again.
2. Send every message in red 96pt bold italic Arial Black. Nobody will read them - ever. Then, you can say as many bad things about your manager as you'd like.
3. Learn how to write in rebus.
4. Wipe your screen with tissue paper before and after you hit “Send and Receive” to ensure that you remain free of viruses.
5. Send “Mambo #5″ as the background tune in every one of your messages. Whenever your boss hears the music, s/he will know that you're working hard.
6. Instead of requesting a recall of a message in Outlook, run over to the recipient's computer and smear White Out all over their screen.
7. Whenever you need to attach something to your email, ask your cubicle neighbors which port the metal paper clip goes into.
8. USE YOUR CAPS LOCK KEY WHENEVER POSSIBLE TO SAVE TIME - FEWER KEYSTROKES SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIT THE SHIFT KEY TO CAPITALIZE ANYTHING.
9. Set an “Out of Office” autoreply whenever you need to perform a mundane activity (including, but not necessarily limited to, visiting the restroom).
10. Make liberal use of emoticons. For example: Please get back to work instead of reading stupid lists. :) You're on the clock, remember? :) Judy in accounting just got laid off last week for eBaying her parking space. :) Danny wants to see you in his office and he sounds upset. :) See you at lunch, perhaps? :)

Mitch Keeler has been writing a FireFox tip every day for the past couple of weeks. We'll have amassed hundreds in no time at all. If you have something to submit, send it on!

• Firefox's
  Web Developer
• Skinning
  the Fox
• Really
  Odd Firefox Extentions
• ForecastFox
• Using
  Keywords With Firefox
• Load
  Web Sites in Firefox Sidebar
• Spread
  the Firefox Love
• Firefox
  on the Go!
• Firefox
  101
• Open
  Multiple Web Sites in Tabs

We do a live show every Thursday night… but tonight, we're going to have a deathmatch between these three entrants… Skype, Gizmo, and Google Talk. In fact, I hope to have it so that we'll have three calls (one from each client) going on at the same time. And yes, we'll be recording it. I'm “lockergnome” on Skype and Gizmo, and “chris.pirillo@gmail.com” on Google Talk. Don't expect me to take calls at any other time, though… I'd never get anything done. On Thursday nights, however, our lines are open - including the toll-free phone number (1.888.PIRILLO). See ya there!