Another Jedi Mind Trick

Posted by


It’s Pirillo Vlog 475, and Diana claims that she’s a changed woman for having seen the first two Star Wars movies! And then it was time for Return of the Jedi; thank goodness Ewoks were modeled after teddy bears instead of pandas. Which does make me wonder one thing: is there such a thing as Ewok jerky?

Buffalo jerky makes me feel perky!

Buffalo jerky makes me feel perky! [Thank you, James Swanson!]

If Diana would only use her pocket lightsaber when she’s preparing food in the kitchen, her occasional self-injuries would be instantly cauterized instead of leaking blood all over the place like some kind of grievously wounded Monty Python knight. Instead, we have to patch her up like Hawkeye and Trapper John would have done back in the old 4077.

Diana doesn’t get that reference at all. Do you?

Since she’s now seen Star Wars, I have to start digging for new obscure references to keep her guessing. It’s fun!

She likes to keep me guessing in different ways, so, in my estimation, it’s all quite fair. For instance, she had me watch her purse when she had to step away from the table this morning on our coffee run. So I watched it.

And watched it.

And watched it.

And you know what happened? Nothing happened. What a waste of five minutes of living that I’ll never get back! Totally anticlimactic.

Just for that, she gets none of the buffalo jerky that James Swanson was kind enough to send our way. That’ll teach her a lesson! And if not, we’ve still got the Star Wars prequels (episodes I [the one where we're expected to believe that Darth Vader ever said "yippee!"], II, and III) to watch.

That should do the trick.