A Two-Million Dollar Christmas Gift

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If I had a $1,000,000, I’d buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel); If I had a $1,000,000, I’d buy you a monkey. (Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?) — Barenaked Ladies, If I Had $1000000

Diana’s going to be very excited when she gets home, because I’m going to be able to buy her some art and a monkey! Yep. That’s right. We’re now millionaires twice over thanks to a generous gift from viewer Jessica (hi, Jessica!); it’s double the money that Dr. Evil requested at the beginning of the first Austin Powers movie, even!

Other things we could get with $2,000,000:

What would you get with $2,000,000?