What Would You Take to a Remote Island?

Louise Izzabelle asked:

If you were taken to a remote island, what four gadgets would you take with you?

A transponder, a 1,000,000,000 lumens searchlight, a universal translator, and a TARDIS.

I don’t want to be on a remote island for long. How well do you think *I* would last in an environment like that? HELLO! There would likely be no Internet connection and no electric outlets.

It’s safe to say that I would break out in hives long before the first day ended. Let’s not even discuss sleeping on the ground outside where things are creeping and crawling. Yeah… please God no.

It doesn’t usually work too well for me when The Great Indoorsman goes OUTdoors.