The art of manipulation that I learned in House Slytherin during my formative years must be slipping. I spend a lot of time trying to create drama in Pirillo Vlog 466, only to have Diana shoot it down at every turn. Her positive energy is positively frustrating when I’m attempting to generate speculation over what’s going on with our lives.
Every other vlog has some kind of drama — why not ours? People don’t get addicted to soap operas for their “feelgood” vibe, after all. Too bad Diana sucks at drama. She’d make a lousy candidate for House Slytherin. If I could guess the inclinations of the Hogwarts Sorting Hat, I’d probably send her to Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.
But me? Every day I’m Slytherin… Slytherin… Slytherin.
I don’t know if the slug witnessed in this vlog counts as a representative of this esteemed house, but it’ll probably serve to creep out at least a few of you. And, no, I didn’t pour salt on it, so don’t go looking for cruel outtakes focusing on the demise of a luckless gastropod who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m only trying to create drama, not snuff films!
And Pixie’s off to the vet again with her Cone of Shame (as seen in previous vlogs), which is kind of like some zany wizard’s headgear. She’d definitely be sent to Ravenclaw if left up to the Sorting Hat, I’ve no doubt.
She might find flourishing wands to be somewhat difficult, given her lack of opposable thumbs and all. But maybe there’s a spell for that? Magic users are known to be a clever lot, even if they don’t get a lot of hit dice per level when they’re rolling their characters…
Oops. Wrong paradigm. Enjoy the vlog, my fellow Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws!